Month old coffee and empty bottles
Dead plants and dusty curtains
Clothes cover the floor
No sheets on the bed
Hoodie and shorts from last week
Stiff hair secured in a loose bun
Tear stained pillow
Sorrowful thoughts yet a barren mind
Pills swallowed earlier taking effect
Soul leaving her, bare and alone
Returning to the place before birth
Hoping to be born again in different skin

I'm on top of the world
But at my lowest
Everything looks so small up here
The city lights are beautiful
A beautiful sight for a tragic end.
The wind is cool against my cheek
It smells alive...
One step and its over
One step and I'm at peace.
One step... and no more city lights...

I dont want to be perfect.
I just want to be the best version of myself.

My depression came in as a wave
and ended up a tsunami.

I often ask myself why its so hard to smile some days and why I cry everyday and im easily angered some days and other days I dont feel anything at all and im just numb. I ask myself why I cant just be happy and why I cant just get my ******* grades up and get my life together. Its cause I'm ******* depressed. Then the question "Well why are you depressed" comes to play and I feel like I dont have a good reason to be depressed. I'm alive aren't I? Everyday is the same. Wake up, dread seeing my family, dread going to class, push people away, cry, skip meals or eat to much junk, tearing myself into pieces until I am no more, until I fade away never to cause another problem in someone's life and never to fake another smile... I don't wanna be here anymore.

I try not to cry but sometimes my vision is clouded with tears as they start chasing each other down my face.
They fall to my chest playing in a pool of emotions.
I cant contain them anymore.

Sunflowers grow facing the sun... if they can not find the sun they face each other.

Growth is a process that is needed in everyone's life.
But you may not always be able to find the sun to be able to grow.
It's going to be hard cause nothing is easy. But if you cant find the sun... find your sun, and blossom into the beautiful sunflower you're meant to be.