Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
 Feb 2015 Astrid Ember
Mari
These scars that we gain from the war
they remain for the rest of our days they never fade
these battle scars will never go away
are never going to change

Every mark that mars our smooth skin is a constant reminder,
a reminder of the pain, the loss and the hopelessness
the scars we create on our hearts
coincide with the ones inflicted upon us

Every drop of blood is a broken memory
the wind a whispered companion
the tears always the crack before the flood
and the pain always the calm before the raging storm
It started out as a blues type thing but then kinda ended as like not a blues thing. Best way I can put that into words.
 Feb 2015 Astrid Ember
Mari
I get the feeling something is missing
a hole in my memory
a tear in my belly
an ache in my heart
I can’t seem to put my finger on it
no clue as to what caused it
this hollow feeling tears through my body
it eats at my insides
my mind starts to pound
searching for answers seeking out every dark secret
hoping to find the source of this emptiness,
this thing,
this cold tendril of fire whips through me reopening deep wounds
only bits and pieces are coming back
flashes of fire and tears
relief and anger
rain and laughter
but it’s not the same
things are changed but I don’t know what
and it’s not in the right order
I delve deeper into the dark fire that is my memories
only to find a burning blackness swirling just beneath the skin
slivers of twirling silver memories threading itself through the inky black fog
nothing is in the right order but I write it down anyway
hoping the rest will come back
but it’s only bits and pieces
and I’m tearing my hair out
wracking my brain
I’m going to go insane
and these bits and pieces are not enough
Just trying to put into words how I feel when I can't remember something. I realize that bit about reopening deep wounds is a tad off but oh well.
 Feb 2015 Astrid Ember
Mari
These days it feels like the walls are
closing in on me
I can feel myself slipping away
becoming oblivious to my cage
only seeing the sun
so desperate to be free
I keep running into the bars
frantically trying to reach the sun
 Feb 2015 Astrid Ember
Mari
Tell me how it feels
to have your heart pierced by an arrow
not by one of Cupid's
but by betrayal

Tell me how it feels
when the poison leaked into your heart
when your heart turned black
how it withered away

Tell me how it feels
when the ashes were blown away
what stands in it's place
how do you live with the emptiness

Tell me how it feels
to know you can't piece it back together
how the cold spread through your limbs
the way your blood burned

Tell me how it feels
to give up
to hate the sun and all it's warmth
living under your rock

Tell me how it feels
when you felt the poison in your veins
and your heart disappeared
when the tears fell silently

Tell me how it feels
to know you will never live again
never love the light
to surrender all that you once were

So tell me how do you live like this
with this
surrounded by this
Infected by this poisonous arrow of betrayal
I have no clue as to what inspired this, it just kinda flew out of me.
 Feb 2015 Astrid Ember
Mari
I feel repressed
unable to be true to myself
locked away from the me that longs to be free
I'm afraid to show you what I can do
afraid you'll only huff and turn away
I'm frightened to voice my true thoughts
knowing all you'll do is hate me
I lock myself away
so as not to see the disdain in your eyes
I no longer recognize myself
the stranger in the mirror can't relate
she doesn't understand
she's confused as to why she can't come out
there's nothing left of her in me
she was the girl who knew herself like the river knew how to flow
the girl who loved to ask questions
who sought the answers despite what she was told
the girl who never shed a tear a day in her life
is now replaced with the girl who smiles to mask the tears
laughs to hide the pain
she no longer asks questions
no longer seeking answers
she simply nods and accepts the answers she is given
loving freely to disguise her broken heart
and now because of you she no longer lives
you killed her
she's gone and all thats left is a shell
a ghost and a hollow laugh
This just kinda happened.
 Feb 2015 Astrid Ember
Mari
I belong behind a Piano
fingers gently splayed across the keys
keeping time with my toes
I long to have a Cello between my knees
the button
pressed against my chest
every note vibrating through my limbs
my shoulder and right hand feels empty
without a Violin to keep them company
weaving my melody through the air with silver thread
stitching together the accompaniment and counter melody
while the bass thrums through the floors fusing us together with it’s
heartbeat
my fingers twitch filled with the need to touch the thin cords of a Harp
every lyrical note smoothing my frayed edges
lulling me into a daze
colors swirling behind my half lidded eyes
the lullaby flows from my fingertips
softly wrapping itself around me like a safety blanket
the musician in me craves music the way a ****** needs ******
my body sways to the music in my head
my soul belongs to the thrum and hum of the music
my heart belongs to the bone deep vibrations of every note
surrounded by music
the heartbeat of the bass pulsing through my veins
I have found where I belong
the place my soul, body and mind finds peace
I have found home
in the reverberating notes of the Cello
the thrumming heart of the Bass
the steady pulse of the Piano
the lilting lullaby of the Harp
and the Violin’s silver melody
The button of a Cello connects the body, neck and fingerboard of the instrument. I didn't use Viola simply because of it's similarity to the Violin and Cello.
The title is a very popular quote and I feel it ties together the feelings I poured into this poem.
 Feb 2015 Astrid Ember
Mari
2-17-15
 Feb 2015 Astrid Ember
Mari
I am a tarnished gem
no matter how you cut and polish me
I will always be a dark soul
no matter which light you hold me in
I will always be a forgotten land
no matter how you chart my waters
I will always be the unsolved labyrinth
no matter how many times you “find” my heart
I will always be a phantom itch
no matter how many times you tear at the skin
I will always be a slow disease
no matter what “cure” you find
I will always be the rotten apple of your eye
despite all the parts you carve out
I will always be the withering flower in your garden
even after all the times you nurture me back to health
I am a book of doubts
no matter how many compliments you write on my pages
I am the second star to the right
no matter how you try to steal me from the sky
I am a cloud
despite your need to catch me
I will always be the fire that burns your veins
no matter how you try to ease the burn
I am a jagged scar
despite your attempts to erase me
I will always be the forgotten land riddled with hidden treasure
no matter how you navigate my uncharted sea’s
I want to sleep with you
No not sexually just sleep
The chance to hear your steady breathing
To hold you and feel your warmth against me
Next page