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 Apr 2014 Hayleigh
betterdays
running on empty
all outta gas.
all outta,all outta, all outta, gas.

my daddy was a gasman,
well... he drove a petrol tanker
big shiny thing.

that's before he went away,
then my mumma, she done
worked her fingers red raw.
to keep food on the table,
and the roof overhead.

she got us up before dawn,
ready for school and then
we went with and sat,
waitimg on hard hospital chairs,
til the bus  done come and
picked us up, for school.

i was always tired, fore, i got to
school....so by the three thirty bell,
my life was a living hell.

then, we started the long traipse home.
4.5km in a straight line then,
turn left,trudge another 550 metres
and the white picket fence,
gives a welcome home grin.

everyday, i was running on empty.

all outta, all outta, all outta gas

my daddy was a gas man,
til he went away.

my daddy was a... mongerel *******
when he went away.
freeflow before bed
 Apr 2014 Hayleigh
betterdays
today i am but,
a rude mechanical thing
a wind up toy.
plodding along with whining gears

today i am but,
a fool's pawn to swing
a mere pendulum being,
arcing between
the sun and moon

today every thing is done
purely on muscle memory.....
....my thoughts...
.... are engaged elsewhere.
the only difficulty encountered.....
....they neglected to inform me
of their intended  whereabouts

so now this is me,
a discombobulated, thingamajig
bought from Ikea, sans the allenkey, put together inexpertly, clunk-clunking
along, not right..a little bit wrong....clank- clunking on
by.
 Apr 2014 Hayleigh
betterdays
" I found one Mummy!!!"
says my  just about four
year old boy.

We are on our town green
at the, combined churches Easter Egg Hunt.
This is Tod's first big egg hunt and he does n't quite
seem to have the hang of it.

Tod my boy, who now sits with his plastic egg.  
Happy as can be!!!

"Honey don't you want to go find some more ?"

"Can I ?"

"Why don't you go find one for Nanna & Da."

So off he goes, just about quivering with excitement,
Dad trailing protectively behind.

He comes back with four more eggs, so five in total.

One for Nanna,
One for Mummy,
One for Da
and one for me.

We ask, the obvious,
Tod, who is the last one for?...

It's for her,
he says pointing to a lady, sitting alone,on a park bench
watching the children play.
She is a complete stranger,
to us,  and looks a little bedraggled, not a street person, or drunk, just beyond caring.

"Why her ?"  We ask, just a tad alarmed,(Stranger danger and all that.)
because, " She is all alone and sad, with no eggs
and everybody should have eggs on Easter.

Gobsmacked much!!!.....
Our little man saw to the heart of it.
While we looked at the shell.

We took the egg over to, Anne, for that was her name and asked, if she would join us for a picnic lunch of fish and chips.
It turned out she was travelling through and had broken down .... was stuck till early next week(until her car was fixed) and was missing easter with her family. She had come to the
park, to see children play
on Easter Sunday morn.

As we parted later, with address's exchanged.
She leant over and said in my ear.
"You've done well, such a thoughtful little fellow."

I just beamed through my
welling tears.

Then she walked away.
and Tod gave her his cheery little wave.
so not so much a poem, as a proud mumma gush
but it is cuteness with a lesson

oh and one other thing i must explain the kids find plastic eggs which they then trade in for real eggs(for safety reasons) i found that to be a little sad. i understand why. but i'm still sad
 Apr 2014 Hayleigh
betterdays
a calcium carapace,
sits upon the mantle's shelf. dreaming of the sea,
craving water and salinity.

pretty trinket ivory white,
a  plump smooth bubble with cafe au lait dotted curve, leading to,
sensuous convex lip,
scintillating burnt caramel
hue.

what lived in such a
palace of the sea.
what graced the interior hall.
did it wonder,
at the beauty of it's home,

or did it only see,
the weight of the walls, pressing in.

does the palace discarded
on the shelf dream,
of saltwater
and former self.

or is it an inamate relic,
of an unregarded time,
with out measured reason, unresonating thought, unrimed.

does it know
                 it is
                 beauty sublime.
napowrimo day 18
prompt: write a poem of/ about seashells but not necessarily the sea
(a list of sea shell names were given) the shell referred to in this writing was not on that list but is i am informed an australian shea shell
"EATONIELLIDAE "
'Crassitoniella flammea"
with out of the ordinary colouring on the shell-lip.
 Apr 2014 Hayleigh
qtrz
To my best friend:
Thank you, for resisting the constant urge to tell me that I'm stupid to keep choosing him.
I'm sorry, for you always had to see me at my worst; When I'm crying hysterically as my heart is being carved out.

To my brain:
Thank you, for navigating me to the right path- for always reminding me that he's toxic.
I'm sorry for being oblivious to the warnings and unceasingly dissapointing you.

To my heart:
Thank you, for being strong. You still continue to beat, allowing me to live another day, despite the scars inflicted on you.
Im sorry, as aforementioned, you're the victim of my actions. You were shattered to pieces, stabbed by a knife, left with wounds that no amount of time could heal.

To you, the boy who made a large impact in my life:
Thank you, for instilling strength in me, albeit being my biggest weakness. It is because of you that I know, I will not be as foolish. Afterall, what doesn't **** you makes you stronger.
I'm sorry, because you will never find someone who gives a **** about you as much as I do. And when you do realise that, it will be too late- she is already gone.
Words are irrelevant
Silence is the language
Try deciphering it
A powerhouse of information
No need to play with words
And get entangled
Words have interpretations of many
The language of silence is one-to-one
There is no language barrier
Become a global citizen and win many hearts
Just, if you can learn the language of silence
A heart to heart talk is in the offing, which stays forever…
life is bursting
with fullness

fear of failure
strangles me
10w
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