Burning legs, aching to bring me closer to you.
Taking the long way to pass you by, to have you smile at me,
to have you notice me.
Arms wrapped around torsos to shield from the rain
and the hurt, the underlying ache and the bright, stinging
pain of affection.
Fluttering feelings, like butterflies in the pit of my stomach,
betraying my fondness of everything that was you.
Spilled ink and tears, clichéd attempts to make you care if I was hurting, to try and make you love me.
Nonchalant responses and joking tones
masking the enormity of the love I felt for you,
the love I feel for you.
Experiencing every feeling so intensely that I thought my bones would shatter from the weight of all the emotions swimming in my head
and in my heart.
I didn't think that it was possible for me to feel so deeply,
to be so utterly immersed in the desire to belong to someone
that songs and sonnets couldn't dream of articulating
the dizzy haze of ecstasy that washed over me
every time I was close to you.

A rush of chemicals and the firing of synapses
couldn't be all there was to it.
How do you explain the suffocating weight on my chest,
the piercing pain and consuming agony
that tore me to shreds when I heard the news,
when I heard that you were leaving me behind?

You cared for me, but not in the way that I wanted you to.
I wanted you to want me with the same burning passion,
with all the desperation of a man on fire trying to extinguish the flames that engulfed him.
A lovestruck teenager willing to tear themselves apart,
to fight every atom in their body and destroy themselves from the inside out just to numb themselves,
to make their heart impervious to your attacks.
Each smile you sent my way was a crushing blow that tore down
the walls I had built to protect me from you.
I thought that making myself hate you would stop it,
the searing anguish that could only come from unrequited love.

Now, all that is left is the fading memory of your hazel eyes
and the scars I carved trying to bleed out my love for you.

I didn't wake up one morning
     make a conscious choice
             to be a *****....
First -
I gave my heart
      It was used to clean excrement from your rear....
I ventured so far as to trust
     Your knives are still in my back....
I was kind
     you interpreted weakness....
I cared
      totally unappreciated
I empathized
      your need became insatiable....
After 20 years I finally said
    **** it....
Naturally,
       I'm the *****....
No my dear
        I simply act like you!

A part of me dies
When I Sin
The part of me that
Brought me here
I'll whisper it in your ear
If you were to grieve
Why not bring me there?
I think to repent
Throughout this letter
Which is life,
But I can't
I Sin and again I Sin
And even in my thought of repentance
I find Sin

- S.S

born to this earth as a sinner,
but there is no sweeter innocence than a forgiven sin.
but to live a life without sin would not be living at all.
so do you fear that your sins pile up ?
or do you fear that your life will end sinless ?

You're too young to be in love.

You're too young to want to end your life, you've barely lived it.

You're too young to have any real troubles.

You're to young to know what's reality and what's not.

You're too young to make rational decisions on you're own.

You're too young to know the meaning of true beauty.

You're too young to have your own opinions on this modern day society.

You're too young to know what it feels like to truly be happy.

You're too young to know what it feels like to have been through hell and back.

You're to young to know what true disappointment feels like.

You're too young to know what it feels like to be completely heartbroken.

You're too young to understand what I'm talking about.

Well if I'm too young you should know having knowledge about life isn't measured by how long you've been alive, but by the experiences you've faced.

And you wouldn't know what I've had to go through to know the things I know about this lovely thing we call life.

My youth has nothing to do with you.