I hate how much I love you.
You can act however you want
You can say whatever you want
You can treat me the way you want
I'll always run back to you

I hate how much I love you.
I cry by myself in bed
You go out and have fun
I don't want to live my life
You can't wait to live your life
I can't sleep at all in the night
You sleep like baby through the night

I hate how much I love you.
I will change every aspect of myself you don't like
You won't work on a single thing with me
You say we're horrible for each other
I say that we are meant for each other
You think I'm a big ******* that means nothing to you.
I agree.

I hate how much you hate me....

Dear God, i am writing to you in desperation
As i lay in this hospital bed expecting to die
I am not ready for my life's expiration
I am not ready to lay and say goodbye

For a couple of years now i thought death was the answer
I have proof of the canceled orders that I made
The receipts of scars left on my body before the cancer
I assume the funds were insufficient in the cuts I paid

After the dark I was grateful for never having enough
I found that i have people there for me through it all
I have dreams and goals and ways to deal when its tough
I have climbed so high i am not ready to fall

Please God I'm begging you not to **** me
I have a plan for life now and death isn't a part
I wanna feel true love, have kids, and be happy
This time is just the beginning of a beautiful start

Love,
................

Its funny where we stand now, both in our own lanes
Remember when we used to fight over baby names?
Once in the morning, the call I needed to hear to start my day
Once every couple of months, the call just checking in to say hey
Inseparable, all my friends and family thought that someday we’d get married
Intolerable, now my voice brings back all the negative emotions that you carried
Happiness is all I want to give you and if that means losing you I am going to do it
Sadness and fear is what you got when you were with me and I’m sorry for the *******
Being hurt, unfortunately, is a part of life and relationships
Being healed, fortunately, is a part of life and relationships
Do not fear the connection that you may one day get again with someone new
Be excited and curious to see where that connection could possibly take you
Live your life and don’t be afraid to take risks here and there
Live your life for you and remember you don’t always have to be fair
All that I ask is when you do fall in love again, make sure that his love is pure
If he is angry, sad, and tired from life, your lips on his lips is the only cure
If you had a rough day and all you want to do is scream and die
You can run to him and he will hold you until all your tears dry
Just make sure he loves you and you being with him makes you feel free
Just make sure he loves you and please make sure he’s a lot better than me.


-M.M.