Looking Up
I see your soft face smiling down at me

I thought the fears would always haunt me
But at night, they never will
For you will always shine your stolen light on me

I can see the dusty features and dark flecks on your face
They do not scare me
Instead, they fill me with hope

Then, I no longer can
Light engulfs me and everything around me
Even you

I hold back tears
Because you gave me hope
And I will see you again

When asked, "Why do you matter?"
My mind drew a blank...

Why does one matter?
The unique aura they carry?
Thee insightful way they see the world?
The gift they hold within?
That which they will do someday?

I can never seem
To control my mind
That is why
If you hear me mumble
"Shut Up."
Ignore me
Im not talking to you
Im talking to my thoughts

It stings
It burns
My heart's concerns

Words for me
Or so it seems

Now I know
I won't let go
Of the love youve shown
And broken pieces youve sewn

For reasons unknown
My mind is always filled with darkness
Im always alone
But I am not heartless

I want to see light
But my mind is buried too deep
I have no sight
So I only weep

Maybe I dont deserve it
And Ill be here forever
But I always show grit
No matter, wherever

Say goodbye
Maybe Ill see you one day
That is a lie
Only I would say

You
      Are
            Talking
                        To
    ­                        Me

I want to reply

My
     Mind
             Makes
                        A
                           Plea

But my mouth stays dry

I wish I could disappear
Into the knowing words
Of the pages I flip through
Because I dont belong in this world
Not when there could be
One like yours out there

I thought you were the key
That opened my **** lock
The one to set me free
After the turns on the clock
But soon I will see
What a sadly small shock
You not knowing me
Sent through me like a knock

The way your eyes light up
When you recall
The days of the past
Leave a growing ache in my soul
For those days are not only the time you long for
But also the time
I was not in your life
How can you tell me
You miss those days
But also tell me
You miss me

I always hold on tight
But somehow
You manage to slip through
Like water down a cliff
Like sand through cracks
Like hope through my heart

You think you know me
Take another look
The mask I wear
Is now falling free
I can still try and hide
But the truth will forever follow me
To my grave
And I hope
To yours too

Blazing heart of gold
Can't puncture diamond
But the sunlight can see weakness

Only safe at night

Hurtling around in my mind
Knowledge I can only sense
Passing by in an instant of wisdom
Things that I will never really know
I know before I really understand
Or do I understand before I really know?

They all began behind the same line.
He knew that.
But.
They didn’t begin at the same time.
For them the gunshot was earlier.
Now.
It came too late for him.
Or so he thought.
Every race.
The gunshot wouldn’t come to him until it was too late.
Too Late.
But was it?
No.
He didn’t know.
Everyone’s came at different times.
Now he knows.
Not only this, but something else too.
Even if it only came too late for him, it was okay.
Too late was his now.

I fear standing alone at the edge of the cliff
I fear shaking in the night without a light
I fear living a day without the hope you are somewhere
I fear I will never know you

I am almost at the edge of the cliff
Yet I still stand alone
The darkness is closing in
No light is leading me away
I think of you everyday
But I dont know you are

Lost;
unable to find one's way; not knowing one's whereabouts.

How do you know
If you are really lost

Its the things I dont do
That keep me up at night
The things I didnt want to
The things I didnt try

Never being known
Is a feeling Im used to
So when love is shown
I try not to overdo

But she spreads it around
Like a whisper in the wind
That we have all found

Scribbles before bed
Is all she said
But there must be something more
Though what Im not sure

When the universe is against you
When your story's untold
Will I be there by you?
Or will I stray from home?
I know who you are
But you know who I was
Would you forgive me if you knew what I'd done?
I can see how this unfolds
I know where the path goes
But I am not with you
Or will you tempt me to go?
I must not go with you
What follows will come
Nothing but tragedy
I was never that dumb

Its not ok
For me to be here
After all Ive done
Thats the one truth I know
But after all Ive done
Ive also learned
You were never
On my side

I tried to call out your name
But I guess it never came
Am I invisible to you?
Or do you just see the same?
I know that I am different
So all Im gonna ask
Is for you to show me who you are
I know youre wearing a mask
Maybe it's everyone
Maybe its me
But when all my thoughts are swirling
I dont become dizzy
My world becomes small
The universe explodes
Will you hold my hand
Or will you let go

When someone says my name
Every nerve in my body turns on

Why?

Because whatever follows is rarely meaningful

They can tell me what to do
But I will not move
They can tell me what say
But I will speak the truth
They can tell me what to think
But I will listen to my heart, head, and soul
Truth be told
You are nothing but an obstacle
One I shouldve moved past long ago

Sometimes i feel like im the only one

No matter how I try to explain it
I cant

No matter how I try to describe it
I cant

No matter how hard I try to get others to feel it
I cant