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May 2018 · 334
I Feel Like the FBI
CAM May 2018
I Feel Like the FBI
It's kind of weird to think.
About how people change.
But it's not generally because of themselves.
Unless they mean it to be.

People around you.
Input pieces of their souls
Into everyone around you.
Every day.

Isn't it weird to think about?
Maybe you saw his fingers tapping,
Or her biting her lip,
Or them saying something that made you laugh.

And then a few weeks later,
You find yourself doing the same thing.

People input pieces of their souls
Into everything they do.
In an English essay, you can hear their voice,
In the way they write.
If you listen hard enough.

If you read the things I write.
You can tell little things about me.
Like the fact that I see the good in people,
And the fact that I'm young and in school.

Or the fact that the characters I write about
They exist everywhere in my mind.
My friends are often in my words,
Speaking through everything I say.

My words shape who I've become,
And the things I do become less fun,
Until you realize your soul is spreading too,
When you see someone reading a poem.

When you see someone covering their face with their hair,
Or reading the book you just read.
When you see someone who's singing classic rock,
Looking at you once again.

If you see someone copying your stride,
Or the way you hold your bags.
Or the way you mess with your fingers as you're nervous.
Just know it's not you who's inside.

We're all different people,
Sharing our souls,
Not knowing exactly where they're going,
Not at all.

Yet it's not hard to tell who someone is.
From the pieces of soul you find.
Continue reading...
Apr 2018 · 299
Time Stops(An Originally Borrowed Poem)
CAM Apr 2018
Time Stops(An Originally Borrowed Poem)
Oh how does time stop when I look at you

The stars shine only for you in the night

What could I do when I’m in love with you
Without a single reason in my sight


The memories we have together rise

And dance across my mind in the moonlight

Your eyes are amazing green orbs, my prize
Until death can take its ever so cruel bite

If time can stop when I look at your smile
How does time resume when I speak to you
Because you make life worth it all the while
Without you, I feel so lost and so blue


The stars shine for you in the dark night sky
I pray that we won’t have to say goodbye
This is a sonnet written for my best friend by his girlfriend and she sent it to me, telling me I could post it, and honestly, it makes me really happy how happy she makes him and how amazing they are together.
Continue reading...
Apr 2018 · 327
Being Wrong
CAM Apr 2018
Being Wrong
Maybe I wish I wasn't wrong so often.
Especially when I feel a lot like I'm right.

When I'm with my friends,
It's easy to tell what they do,
And why.

With people I'm getting to know,
I notice things most people don't,
Although sometimes I presume people do.

It's weird that I can do all that,
But I can't even tell if you like me or not.

And now I feel stupid,
Because you don't quite feel the same.

Be happy,
My friends say.
It's not like he hates you.

And I know that.
We're friends,
And I know you.

But that doesn't mean
I enjoy being wrong.

And maybe it's hard to admit it sometimes,
When you're wrong it just doesn't feel right.
But sometimes you are,
And you have to admit it.

Even if you hate being wrong.
Continue reading...
Apr 2018 · 122
No Offense
CAM Apr 2018
No Offense
You say no offense as if I'm not supposed to be offended.

Guess what.
I am.
But I won't say that to you.
I haven't posted in a while because it's summer, but if you're reading this, hi.
Continue reading...
Mar 2018 · 216
Why?
CAM Mar 2018
Why?
I can feel the tears on my cheeks,
My lips,
My clothes.
They drip down to cover me,
In the one thing that reminds me that I'm still here.

I can feel the racking sobs,
My chest feels compressed,
And that familiar lump resides in my throat.

I can hear the mantra,
Running through my head.
Why?
Why?
Why?

Why am I still here?
Why am I the one who's like this?
Why am I not the good enough one?
Why am I not happy?


Why am I like this?
Why am I doing this?
Why can't I get over the dramatics?
Why do I feel overdramatic for having emotion?


Why does this always happen?
Continue reading...
Mar 2018 · 266
I Missed This
CAM Mar 2018
I Missed This
I missed it.
This feeling of happiness.
This feeling of strength
And that little burst of joy.
Each time you pop into my head.

But I didn't miss people.
"He's not good enough for you."
"He's into bad stuff"
"I thought you were a rule follower."

I don't miss that, not at all.
I don't miss being criticised,
Every time I try to be happy.
Every time I think of your face.

I miss thinking about the way we first met.
Letting that memory and others flood my mind.
Every single time I'm bored.
Your hair, voice and manner are all adorable.

And I miss thinking someone is adorable.
I miss thinking of someone when I get good news.
I miss talking to someone and letting it get better every day.
I miss talking to someone and almost not going to bed on time.

I missed talking to someone,
To take my mind off the day.
Or even just to make a good day better.
My day is tiring, and you tell me to sleep.

And that's what I miss the most.
Having someone who cares.

But of course,
"You're going to get hurt."
Is the only thing I hear.
Continue reading...
Mar 2018 · 471
My Day Didn't Get Worse
CAM Mar 2018
My Day Didn't Get Worse
What's going on inside me?

I feel something in my gut like
Something that's wrong?

Then again, almost everything
Has been making today worse
I don't know what it is about today.
But nothing is going right.

My friends all seem to hate me
My crush hasn't said a word.
My family feels like it's falling apart,
This couldn't get much worse, I'm sure.

Except for the fact that it's snowing outside.
What if someone gets hurt?
It looks like a blizzard,
But it's March.

I have practice tonight, until nine o'clock.
I have a tournament right after school.
Today makes me feel like I need to leave.
My head is saying to go.

But wow. It's weird.
To be cast out and lonely
For one day. For people to ignore
Your feelings and then ask them the next day

It's weird talking to your crush
Having that confidence,
Starting a conversation you
Didn't think you could

It's weird how your bad days
Only make you better.
It's weird how the things that could **** you
Can make you stronger instead

The things you told yourself
You couldn't lose
Are the things you're willing to fight for
The things that push you to the limit.
Continue reading...
Feb 2018 · 16.2k
Shy?
CAM Feb 2018
Shy?
God. How am I still not okay?

God. It's been so long.

God. I'm so tired of life right now.

God. What happened to me?

I was such a nice kid.
I was calm all the time.
Mature for my age,
Little but so lively.

I was so helpful.
So loyal.
I always supported my trust.
But I never really spoke my mind.

I was shy.
I was small.
I never stood up for my feelings
I never stood up for myself.

And now I'm older.
I realize I don't need support.
I need myself.
I need confidence.

Speaking your mind is not wrong.
Standing up for your feelings isn't rude.
Standing up for yourself isn't mean.
Saying what you feel doesn't make you imperfect.

No one's perfect. Not even them.
The ones you hate for being so amazing.
Maybe she has anxiety.
Maybe his mom is alcoholic.

No one has a perfect life.
There's not one perfect family in the world.
There is not a person in the world who's perfect.
There's not a person who doesn't have one bit of strife.

But just because you aren't perfect.
Doesn't make you less worth it.
You're amazing.
You're still charming, kind, and strong.

You're just more experienced.
You just understand some more things now.

And maybe, just maybe,
You just aren't as shy anymore.
I'm not perfect. But I'm not shy anymore either.
Continue reading...
Feb 2018 · 4.4k
Finally Down to Five
CAM Feb 2018
Finally Down to Five
It's been a while.
Since I wrote a poem.
But not since I wrote about you.

I write about you all the time.
Every once in a while,
I forget why.

Then I remember why.
I remember you,
Or I see a picture.

I see your blond hair.
Your blue eyes.
You're the reason I have a type.

I think of your adventure,
And your shyness,
And your varying range of emotion.

I think of all these
Random memories,
Floating around in my head.

Like ping pong.
And capture the flag.
Like long flaring lights and computer bags.

Like fire escapes,
And hiding under tables,
Like missing you in winter with eyelashes like a fable.

Like long walks in the dark,
And hidden dark handkerchiefs with white polka dots.
Like plaid checkered jackets, even when it's hot.

Like cargo shorts and a white fedora.
Gathering under the arch like it's an agora.
Hiding that handkerchief between the flora.

God, I miss you more and more.
Months til I see you,
I'm down to only a few before.

I almost can't wait,
It makes me feel sad.
The fact that I'd leave,
Just like that.

Just so I could see you again.

It's Valentine's Day
And I'm here without you.
And I wish more than anything,
For that to not be true.
Argh. Oh. Now I'm a pirate.
So update: I recommended this site to the person this is about and now I'm terrified of him reading it.
#imapirate #argh
Continue reading...
Jan 2018 · 262
That ever-there feeling
CAM Jan 2018
That ever-there feeling
There's this feeling.
In the pit of my stomach.
It makes me kind of think,
Something will definitely go wrong.

I had plans today.
Things I could have done.
People I could have talked to.
But now I'll just play dumb.

I wish I could make it go.
Fly away, fall like the sun.
I needed something to make me strong.
Not something that makes my anxiety strong.

It hasn't disappeared yet.
It's been making me fret.
It's been several hours.
It's not like somebody brought me flowers.

I shouldn't feel like I'm nauseous.
I feel like I'm at a loss.
What could I have done that would have been a total failure today?
What kind of button would have pressed play,
On all my bad luck?

Maybe tomorrow I can use my luck.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.
Maybe I won't feel like a crook,
Every time I start a single letter.
Idk but now it's here.
Continue reading...
Jan 2018 · 3.0k
I'm Okay
CAM Jan 2018
I'm Okay
I lied when I said I could trust you again.
I lied when I said I could easily fend.
I lied when I said I was telling the truth.
I lied when I told you this was proof.

I lied when I told you he looked fine.
I lied when I told you it left with the time.
I lied when I said it was no big deal.
I lied when I told you I could give you time to heal.

I lied when I told you I was fine.
I lied when I told you I’ve never lied.
I lied when I said he wasn’t my best friend.
I lied when I told you how much time I don’t spend.
Talking to him.

I lied when I told you I was doing okay.
I lied when I didn’t lie straight to your face.
I lied when I didn’t tell you how I felt.
I lied when I was uncomfortable and didn’t tell.

I lied when I kept a straight face.
I lied when I ran past you, upping my pace.
I’d be lying if I said I don’t want to tell you.
But I’d still be lying if I wasn’t being true.

I’d be lying if I said I don’t think about you every day.
I’d be lying if I said I was okay.
With you not being here,
Not knowing why I fear.

I’m lying when I say I’m fine without you.
I’m lying when I say I’m over what I didn’t do yet.
I’m lying when I tell people I didn’t ask for advice about you.
I’m lying when I say it’s about someone else.

I’m lying when I say I don’t want to be with you.
I’m lying when I say I know you like me too.
I’m lying when I know I can’t escape.
This lying is covering me like a cape.

I’m not a liar all the time.
But I can’t stop lying,
When I tell you I’m fine.

Just to see the smile on your face.
It makes me feel better.
I’m almost okay when I see that smile.
It almost makes it all go away.

If I saw it more than once a year,
Maybe I wouldn’t have to lie about being okay.

But don't you tell me you're okay too,
Because we both know it isn't true.
I'm really tired of lying.
Continue reading...
Jan 2018 · 978
Change
CAM Jan 2018
Change
I think I miss you.
I think just maybe I miss your voice.
I think I miss your laugh
I think I miss your eyes.

Then I do something fun,
And I realize
I need something more
Than just memories

More than just glimpses
More than just a dream.
I need to see you more often.
Or talk to you at least.

I need to tell you.
I need to talk to you about it.
I need to know if this is what you want.

But I know,
Once I do.
Things will change.
In little bits.
For worse or for better.
But I don't like change.

With change comes fear,
But I trust you.
Not to scare me,
Not more than you need to.
Ugh
Continue reading...
Jan 2018 · 203
I Know Why They Call Them Crushes
CAM Jan 2018
I Know Why They Call Them Crushes
All I feel right now are butterflies.
Fluttering around in my stomach.
I really wish away they'd fly.
But thinking about it is roughish.

All I'd have to do is talk to you about it.
And they'd be gone, super quick.

Some days you make me feel crazy about you.
And some days you make me feel small.
People tell me to say something, my whole crew
But I feel like I'll crash into a wall.

Maybe you're called a crush because you can crush my soul.
With one word, one breath, one look.
You're in front of me now, and you look so whole.
But you've never really been an open book.

You seem so strange now that you're awkward.
Except maybe that's just my view.
Maybe my heart's going a bit too far.
Leading me even more to you.

But I can't go to you,
You won't accept it.
My heart is in pieces, very few.
But still enough to make it hurt.
Continue reading...
Jan 2018 · 4.2k
Goodbye 2017
CAM Jan 2018
Goodbye 2017
One year ago this month.
I fell off a cliff.
For the first time falling,
I thought I was flying.

In February I hit the ground.
My emotions splattered all around.
I felt weak and worthless.
I’d never felt more alone.

In March, I moved on.
I got up, and I pushed myself.
Away from him, away from the past,
And away from myself.

April brought rain.
I always remember rain.
Getting washed away.
In that April rain.

May brought beauty.
And with beauty came my camera.
I still have pictures of that first day,
In the sunshine of May.

June was too much like a puzzle.
No school, floating with nothing to do,
But pick up the pieces,
And start over.

July brought me back.
I finally found myself in those corridors,
Pushing myself through fears upon fears.
I stopped hiding in July.

August brought hope.
For a new day, a new me.
With support from my friends,
I pushed and tried to win.

September brought a new age.
It shouldn’t have changed me but it did.
I’m still the youngest of all of us.
Why shouldn’t I feel like a kid?

October brought me only sadness,
Missing my friends from July.
All their birthdays were there in the autumn madness.
Why’d I have to say goodbye?

November was a month of silence.
A break from the stress of my life.
But even though it was silent,
I wouldn’t have ever gone back for more.

December has brought a new beginning.
Confidence, and strength through myself.
I’m now saying goodbye and I’m happy,
That 2017 is now gone.
#2018
Continue reading...
Dec 2017 · 394
Auto correct
CAM Dec 2017
Auto correct
I was fixing some of my poetry,
Just now.
I went to type something.
But autocorrect somehow works like fate.

I figured it would be something simple.
Like changing a few letters.
But I didn't get just that.
It auto corrected to your name.

And I miss you.
So much I can feel the empty cavity
Where my heart isn't simply because...
It belongs to you.

I keep feeling this pain.
And sometimes I wonder why.
Why you aren't here,
Why I can't see you.

I wish we could facetime,
Or text or relay
Messages through friends
So I could talk to you again.

But I have seven and a half months
Yes. I've been counting.
In my head and out loud.
On the days I need grounding.

And I miss you
I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

I miss you every day
All the time
And I don't know why I can't seem to stop.

...
Stupid autocorrect.
I don't know why it did that, but his name popped up and inspiration struck. Maybe I've just typed his name to often...
#automatic
Continue reading...
Dec 2017 · 217
20 questions
CAM Dec 2017
20 questions
Why do I use 20 questions to identify how well I know you? Is it...
Because I know I can barely answer twenty questions about myself?

Twenty. Simple, right? Never.
What's your favourite colour? Always first.

Where is your happy place? Usually second. Followed by...
Where do your roots plant you? And then we get personal... A bit.
What do you hate most about yourself? For you it was everything...
Why should I hate the same things you do?
I like everything about you...

Why do I write lists so I can remember? I may never know.
To remember what? Your voice, your look, you....
Why do I miss you so much?

Why am I still writing to you? You'll never read this.
Why am I missing you? It's been four months.

Why do I look at old pictures of you? Is it...
Because I miss you? Maybe it's something else...

Why did you become a big part of my soul? My other half?
Why are you still there? Because I miss you...

I can't stop thinking about why? I miss you...
What is keeping me here?
Oh yeah. You.
I play twenty questions to know people. To let people know me. It's weird.
#20questions #myfavouritegame
Continue reading...
Nov 2017 · 216
Some Ten-One Stories
CAM Nov 2017
Some Ten-One Stories
I walked through the trees, expecting something new, different, real.
Instead, I found something I needed, something old, real.
I found something I loved, strove for, needed.
Something I can’t live without, feel without.
With my heart in a grasp.
It’s almost like a river.
Flowing down a cliff.
It’s just you.
With flowers.
Love.



She looked up expecting to see you standing with flowers.
Instead, she saw your brother, with a normal note.
It said something about not making the date.
Something about her not being the cause.
Then it broke off, no explanation.
It wasn’t something she expected.
She hadn’t guessed it.
You walked in.
Marry me?
Yes.
You don't have to read these, they're just so I have somewhere to put them for now. I'm experimenting don't judge me.
Continue reading...
Nov 2017 · 2.6k
Look at The Moon For Me
CAM Nov 2017
Look at The Moon For Me
I really want to thank you.
Whether I'm being sarcastic or not,
You'll never know.

I feel like every time I write something,
It's for someone to read.
Spooky government guys,
Or girls who really like fries.

But sometimes it feels like I don't want to.
I don't want you to read about
Who or what affects me.

Sometimes I worry because my friends can read these things.
My friends, they enjoy poetry too.
My English teacher's on here.
She says she approves.

It's weird, isn't it?
How small the world is.
Yet I never see who I really want to.

I see uncles and aunts
And really long lost cousins.
I see my grandma's friends everywhere.
At weddings and all affairs.

But the only way I can see
Who I really want to.
Is through writing and pictures,
And trust me,
I do.

But it feels like it can't be real,
not yet.
I have eight months to go,
And I fret and I fret.

I can't wait to see those
Amazing blue eyes.
The upturn of blond hair,
And your shirts like the skies.

Your sense of adventure keeps me going.
It's weird,
I know,
how these words keep flowing.
You'll never read them.
But if you do,
Hi,
I suppose.

I miss you.
With your laugh,
So infrequent,
And your entrances.
Through fire escapes?
     That's perfectly normal to me.
From under a table?
      That's pretty normal to see.
To scare me on a staircase?
      Of course, why not?
Hanging off a balcony?
    Fine, but keep your thoughts.

But the one entrance you have yet to make.
Is the one I want you to most.
The one that leads you back into my world.
The one that makes the legend unfurl.

I have documents upon documents
I'd love you to read.
But you never really will,
It's not hard to believe.

Poems and lists,
Monologues galore.
But wait and look,
Here's one more.
And you ask,
What is it truly for?

A thank you,
Dear friend
For being who you are.
And simply to ask you to look up at the stars.

For I can see the moon,
And so can you.
And I just wish,
I could see you too.
Don't mind this. Just an outflowing of thought.
Continue reading...
Nov 2017 · 225
Dear Somebody/Nobody
CAM Nov 2017
Dear Somebody/Nobody
Somebody,
If you ever read this,
I miss you.
Every day.
All the time.
With no end in sight.
I miss you almost more than I can say,
almost more than I'll admit.
You're my best friend,
my soul,
my heart.
You're the reason I'm going strong.
You're who I think of,
with nothing to do,
and also who I think of,
in my day through and through.
I miss you more than the sun misses the moon,
only seeing you once in fleets of stars.

Dear Nobody,
I still wish you were here.
You're the reason I'm now living.
You're the voice in my head saying no.
Saying,
That idea's stupid.
Do it.
You're my deep down best friend.
You know me better than anyone.
You're the person these paragraphs are for.
All the time.
All the poems I write.
You're somewhere in my mind.
Still inspiring me.
To push the limits and
DO IT.
Push yourself.
And your own limits.
As well as the world.

This is almost poetic, I suppose.
Maybe I should stop that......or not.
One of you may be my somebody-nobody.
My person.
I guess you both are.
Opposites but the same
In my heart.
The ones who just...CLICK.

Maybe we'll never be romantic,
and I think that's fine.
But that doesn't mean I won't miss you.
Until we meet again,
long lost friends.
I'll be here.
Idk why I wrote this, but Somebody/nobody did not come from my mind, it's from a book, I just have a bit of a twist.
Continue reading...
Nov 2017 · 201
Barely Here
CAM Nov 2017
Barely Here
I barely feel happy anymore.
I just don’t feel it.
I don’t know why,
but it’s been going on for a while.
Most of the time, I don’t feel sad,
but I just don’t get happy all the time.

I’m mostly sad, my happy moods are too easily disrupted,
and they come not often enough at all.
I feel like I’ve changed too much from who I used to be, I can’t tell
If it’s because of my friends, my family, all the stupid heartbreaks,
Stress, or whatever. I can’t tell anymore.

It’s just all a part of my life.
It’s super frustrating because I don’t know what to get rid of
To have my life be happier because I don’t know yet
What will break me? I don’t know.

People keep having these problems all around me
And they say I’m the happy one
And I have all the joy,
And if I only knew how they felt….no.

I do. I know how you feel when you have depression and anxiety
I was raised in a divorced family with not one,
But two verbally abusive dads.
One mom who’s always away from home,
Working an hour away from right here.
One dad who doesn’t care.
One who cares too much sometimes and none the next day.
No parents who support my hobbies and what makes me happy.
No parents who are proud of me for my grades.

Three friends who help me when I’m in trouble,                        
And listen when I’m sad.          
Three. TWO.

Two friends who are there when I need them.                                    
Two friends who I send monologues and paragraphs.            
Two people I trust.      
Two. ONE.

One person,                                                          ­                                    
I trust to not leave me,                                                              ­      
To not break me,                                                      
To support me,                                          
To not call me annoying,                
To tell me the truth,        
To tell me I’m doing great and I can do this.
One person who knows how my mind works.      
One person, I trust with my mind,                                  
My life,                            
My soul.                    
Three. Two. ONE.

They aren't here right now.                              
They're gone into the void where I can't see them.          
Not clearly.                                            
All I have are pictures,                                
Pictures of who my best friend is.                      
Pictures of who they were when I last saw them.        
Pictures of the friend I love more than I love myself.      
And the friend I miss most in the world.                  
But I wonder if they have any pictures of me.
Continue reading...
Nov 2017 · 262
Maybe? No.
CAM Nov 2017
Maybe? No.
Who are you, random person?
You're by my table in the morning.
By my friends and my reason.
Who are you?

You aren't supposed to be here.
I don't think you're new.
I've never seen you before today.
But you still seem to here, strewn.

Our first time talking was awkward.
Of course, it was, we just met.
We shook hands and just stood there.
You don't remember me, I'll bet.

But I saw you and something clicked.
You were almost familiar.

I looked at you and saw a shade of something.
Something that reminded me of me, I guess.

I'm never really used to being wrong.

But I knew something happened.
Even though it was nothing, it was.
It's weird how it feels like I know you.
But really I know nothing at all.

I feel like everything should rhyme by now,
I've been writing way too long for it not to.
But I still think my writing isn't perfect.
Because it isn't and neither am I.

I've never felt a feeling like I felt that day
It was weird, but I doubt it was love.
Maybe we are destined to be enemies
Or friends, I don't really know.

But something was there.
Even though it was nothing.
Maybe? No.
Idk but is happened and something made me want to write about it.
#maybe #random #awkward
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 189
Next Year...We'll See
CAM Oct 2017
Next Year...We'll See
When reading this title,
Did you think it was a close call?
A thought of suicide by rifle?
A day when I learned to fall?

This title explains my thoughts
Right now, at this moment.
I barely found myself, caught.
I'm less important than a floret.

You can't explain how you feel
When you fail at something
Which you thought you could do
When you think about it, it's not funny.

It's hard to try to tell you.
When I'm not sure exactly how I feel.
You're turning into part of my crew,
We're talking all the time during meals.

But still, it's hard to try.
But I won't soon be saying goodbye.
You're my friend, I love you too much.
But failing at this, it's rough.

I thought I could do it, I did.
I thought I was where happiness is.
I knew I'd be happy either way.
And this is hard to say.

But I'm tired of not being good enough.
And I love being just a friend.
Just being around you is a lot of fun.
More than any music I've ever made.

I'm really tired of being called crazy.
Of being strange because you don't like me back.
I'm fine with it, but they make it seem hazy.
And it feels like a hazardous attack.

I'm happy, just being near you,
But I can't deny it's weird.
You don't hate me and I like you.
I thought you would sneer.

This isn't what I'm used to,
But in hindsight, I like this more.
They say I should be more rude,
But I don't know what for.
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 963
Friend Zoned
CAM Oct 2017
Friend Zoned
She's really cute.
You talk about her the way I talk about you.
And you know it.
Can you tell that I've guessed?

I haven't decided to ask you much about her yet.
I think I know what you might answer.
Your face lights up when you talk to her.
Which happens all the time, I fear.

I still have yet to decide.
Would I rather see you happy?
Or see you be mine?
And then I remember you're still my friend first.

Yesterday to my friend, I said
You really just liked me as a friend.
I couldn't be more glad
Did you expect me to be overly sad?

You're an amazing person,
So sweet and kind
I really suppose I'm learning
You're the kind of person I need to find.

So I suppose I'm in the friend zone.
But it's not the worst way to go.
At least we're still friends.
And I hope that doesn't end.

In the end my respect for you,
Wins above it all
You're my friend and I appreciate you,
Through everything all and all.
Ah, this felt really good to write.
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 177
Where I'm From
CAM Oct 2017
Where I'm From
I’m from monster cookies and peanut butter frosting,
From colorfully magic strawberry cake drawings,
I’m from vanilla and chlorine, smells so close when I roam.
And the dark nights in spring when the air smells like home.

I’m from B flats and D sharps,
And roads to get lost on.
I’m from dump 'til it looks good,
And falling into holes at dawn.

From the youngest Tsar's daughter,
A shaded umbrella and a bright floodlight.
Determining how dark or light the water,
Rather than things surely written at midnight.

I’m from hidden passages not quite to brag.
I’m from tennis and soccer to capture the flag.
From a long line of teachers,
Who sat in the bleachers, alone.

There’s a box in my closet,
like the ones written in stone.
Full of red lettered memories,
Of the me that’s now gone.
Wrote this for English a while ago and decided, why not?
#imdifferent
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 5.3k
The Empty Parts of The Hallway
CAM Oct 2017
The Empty Parts of The Hallway
Some days you feel like you need to write something.
I know I'm not relatable, don't be too worried.
But today is one of those days where writing nothing,
Feels like betrayal hurried.

Some days you wish you could disappear.
I can't decide whether today is one of those days or not.
My crush disappears at 1:55 I fear,
But it's not like I ever enter his thoughts.

But some days aren't like that.
Some days you think there's nothing at all.
When in reality your mind is filled with chitchat.
You feel ready to fall
Right out of your seat
But that's alright.

Lunch sounds kind of boring,
But I suppose it's the people there who count.
My friends are always kind of alluring
They're some of the best people I've found.

You think someday someone will sit next to you
And you'll know it's them,
But you realize few
People find it's them.

I'm one of those people who finds the empty parts of the hallway to walk in.
Luckily, my friends are too, so I'll see them there, in the empty parts of the hallway.
Sorry I just kind of wrote on the page today so it's there and unorganized and beautiful in its own way.
#155 #emptypartsofthehallway #somedays
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 289
Silver Flute
CAM Oct 2017
Silver Flute
A scared little girl,
She walked into the room.
She saw the lady,
Sitting at the table.

This was a test.
The table covered in instruments.
She sat down in a chair, across the desk
Picking up the silver flute.

She put her mouth to it and tried to blow,
But the breath flew through with the sound
Of wind on lightly battered silver.
The girl set it down, saddened.

The lady nodded and wrote something,
handing her a slip.
The girl looked down and saw,
The name of the silver flute.
Sorry, just a little story I felt like writing.
#silverflute #littlegirl
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 178
Why?
CAM Oct 2017
Why?
People ask me why I like you.
Trust me it happens all the time.
I have the same answer too,
It's hard to explain why?

But you see my dear,
This answer isn't hard to explain at all
All I have to do is fear
The reasons I might forget to fall.

Like the color of your hair
Or your towering height
Your avoidance of the fair
And your willingness to fight

A challenge of wits is always enough,
To set my heart racing even if it's tough.
People tell me you're weird, you're different
But then I look at you and the option's not the simplest

But it's you.
I need to find you.
But I can't decide if you're
Right here or much too far away.
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 5.0k
The Effects of Being Shy
CAM Oct 2017
The Effects of Being Shy
Sometimes you feel you shouldn't say anything
Sometimes you feel like you need to say everything.
But being who you are you can't.
If you did you would barely stand.

Some people make you feel small and congested
Others they make you feel your life is a blessing.
But you know that you're already beaten.
You convince yourself you're not a ******.

People tell you you're quiet and you need to speak up,
You get hurt and stay quiet but they don't tell you you're tough.
You stop talking for a while and people don't ask you what's wrong
Because you're usually that quiet, even for this long.

It's tough being a shy kid, growing up that way.
People always assume you don't have much to say.
But then we can surprise them, with poems like this
We can tell them something different, even though we're just kids.
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 6.9k
The Truth About Today
CAM Oct 2017
The Truth About Today
Today is one of those days that makes you feel just nauseous
Today is not a very good day to be so self-conscious
Today is one of those beatdown days
The days that make think you’re in a phase
Of life.

Today is like the day you find your crush kind of hates you.
Today is the day you’re almost starting to hate food.
Today is not the kind of day you just give up and faint
Into the arms of some unwilling, kindly saint.

You think today couldn’t be worse but just imagine how it could.
Actually never mind it’d be stranger if you would.
Today is one of those days you think is about to **** you.
But maybe that’s just because you aren’t seeing the whole view.

Today is one of those days that makes you just a little bit cautious.
Today is one of those days you wish you had something like phosphorus.
Although I'll never say it loud,
I think my story I have found.

Today might be a beatdown, but you have to see tomorrow.
Because sunrises are beautiful to take pictures of.

So I hope I see you tomorrow.
#sunrise
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 192
Who are you?
CAM Oct 2017
Who are you?
Some things make you love a person even more.
Like their height, their humor, their clothes.
The nerdiness not so deep inside them
Even when they act like they’re seven.

When he’s jumping from wall to wall
Or calling me short in the hall.
When we’re together, talking is simple,
And our conversations are ample.

In marching band he looks devine
And in making my heart race he’s just fine.
He might be really strange
But in his own little way,
He’s amazing.

He’s so overlooked,
As kind as he is
Constantly mocked
For actions that aren’t his.

And it makes me upset
But I suppose I digress
I’m not ready to let him go.
Continue reading...
Oct 2017 · 545
Falling For the Rhythm
CAM Oct 2017
Falling For the Rhythm
I never liked poetry before
But I find myself reading it more.
Poetry reminds me of me
Being whoever I’ll be.
The laughter, tears and fire
Shoot my need for poetry higher.

I never thought I’d be addicted,
To the rhythm and the rhyme,
Of something more depicted
Than the thrumming time.
Always lost in the music,
Never really thinking about the time.

I’m no watercolor painting,
I don’t fall for my crush fainting.
I can’t write about any of that.
But I can say at last
I have something to say
It’s here I’ll decide to stay.
#watercolor #music #addicted
Continue reading...

— The End —