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  Nov 2018 Karmen
Michael Smit
Close your eyes and you will see
All is not what it seems to be
There is a story unspoken
That left my mind a woken
a Stolen token
My wound reopen

My reign of fire
My hearts desire
You are a liar
So burn in fire

I crossed the line
Had it not been define
a Wrap in time
a Story of mine

They call me the worst witch
Because I tend to switch
I make them glitch
Because I'm the witch

I enchant your mind
Forcing you to find
The power that hides

My power is running out
And I am left in doubt
This is my final spell
The last to tell
I wish you well
  Nov 2018 Karmen
i want to tell you.
i really do.
i'd love to spill my secrets, my issues to you.
yet i can't comprehend it.
i can't communicate it to you.
and the fact you could leave me.
it makes my heart a tearful blue.
you already look at me as if i'm broken.
what do i have to lose?
i want to tell you.
i really do.
yet i can't cope with the fact.
the fact your presence may fade.
vanish without a trace.
except you'd still have that key.
the key that can unlock the darkness in my brain.
this poem is in honour of my teacher who wants me to know that i can talk to him. but it's nearing the end of the year and he may not be my teacher next year. i fear that if i tell him too much i won't be able to cope that next year he might be wandering around with the burden of my thoughts i selfishly put on him without being able to do much to help me. and that i won't be able to connect with another teacher like i have with him. so, in general, this poem isn't really about telling him about my issues. it's about the fact that i might lose his presence in my life and that he's one of the last things that's keeping me sane. this poem is about loss. XD sorry for the mini rant i just needed to get this out there y'know.
Karmen Nov 2018
hi, hello how are you
oh nice, youre doing just fine
great to hear
oh me, how am I ?
man, couldn't be better

both know we are full of lies
saying congrats on your new life
happy to hear youre getting on by
handling your life

gotta keep that mask
cant let it out
gotta remain above the clouds
keep moving south

shouldn't chat long
or ill fall
tell you how im a mess
haven't cleaned up yet
im lost at the block, kinda fucken stuck
cant get over this wall
its too **** tall
goes for very long
that I hit a fall
at the bottom lookin up, tryna figure out how to come up

tired takin falls
wont you help me move a long
we haven't spoken in so long
its destroying my thoughts
im tryna move on
know you are all the way through
good for you, happy for youu
really am
im tryna do my best
to get over you
hell, I don't know why you keep popping in my head
I just want to end this phase
of wishing to see your face
know itll never come true
time to knock these walls
that all involve you
and make me go all loop
Karmen Oct 2018
smart went crazy
truth went trendy
must admit im missin you like crazy
just getting by as I keep tellin all these lies that im alright and aint fucken up no more
cant say when I last felt like myself
just know im checked out the day I had to let you go
didn't even have you but ya know
we know what it was when it was
and what it wasn't when it wasn't what it was
some **** that twist your tongue
not exactly sure what just know it went something like that
in those lines I wrote there above
really wish I knew what the **** it was
cause it drives me nuts
im losing memories of you
not going away, just fading away … place to the end of my brain
im tryna cope with not hearing your voice or seeing your face
**** just getting worse
must have a type of curse \all was better when you were around
know it was hell but you put up
and am not something great probably someone you hate
but ya wont speak my name
whenever you do it taste like something you wouldn't redo
im cool just wanted to say im missing you
jpurnal in feel, stined
Karmen Oct 2018
all unique , to our own  technique
we critique ourselves as if there is no one else around
xcept' when we're really underground
our attention turns to the ones that surround us;
the ones that love us, or ones we cannot have
what else is there to do when we're 1000ft down,
trapped in our head, feeling like our life is cursed
how much worse, is sounding like its rehearse
we may not like our life in this time,
that's alright
keep yourself above the dirt
but if you slip & become hurt, know you'll be heard
and your loved ones will be there to help you up
you'll be roughed up, but they'll give you hugs
tell about the times you were young
and wish you'd see
that you have your own technique
you are so very unique
no need to critique what you do
life is always on the move
don't hit snooze, or get *****
otherwise you'll lose the love of your life
end up feeling like some other
and get lost in a wander
to a point where there isn't any turning back
none will be glad, in fact we'll be sad
cause we cant't have you back walking a similar path
we'll only be able to look back
and remember the times we had
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