Like old horror movie slime engulfing an entire city-so she has taken over my mind
She pushes the levers in the space that was once a clean circuit between my heart and brain.
You see I am trapped
For the one I hate the most is fused with the one I love the most.
How do you run from and towards the same thing?
After a while you just stay put.
So here I am tonight stifling my cold hate again.
I know she loves me more, but fear is a powerful thing.
So I will stay because I love my mother more than anything. Maybe even my own dreams.

So what was your first impression?
hesitant sigh
"He was a nice enough guy, seemed genuine it's just..it felt too polite, like he was running a script of all the right things to say. He came off as easygoing but inside it felt like he was on 10  - there was a frenetic energy around his brain you know?..and internal grind..and it's not bad or good it's just
oh sweety he's got some stuff goin on."

I raised my brow and nodded in reluctant agreement.

There's a certain kind of heartache that comes when you glimpse into someone's private suffering. When you have fallen for their act that carries them through the real world. A solid oak turned out to be a scared shaky leaf.

So aching to be in love
You romanticize the few good moments
And turn a blind eye to the red flags.

Gut says no
No, no, no
Save yourself the pain, don't ignore me now.

When I see you
The clouds will part
Shimmering petals will swirl in the air

The look on your face
Will tell how you've adored me since lifetimes before
I'm your favorite
and you are my home.

I'll want to run to you
But slow will be my pace
My gaze
For I know time will stand still for us
To savor our reunion

*We've been homesick so long

My dad kept his eyes on the road, brimmed with tears
and you just gotta beleive,
His voice brittle, fighting not to break.

*That we'll all be together again someday.

Because she wants to touch him,
she moves away.
Because she wants to talk to him,
she keeps silent.
Because she wants to kiss him,
she turns away
& kisses a man she does not want to kiss.

He watches
thinking she does not want him.
He listens
hearing her silence.
He turns away
thinking her distant
& kisses a girl he does not want to kiss.

They marry each other -
A four-way mistake.
He goes to bed with his wife
thinking of her.
Sher goes to bed with her husband
thinking of him.
-& all this in a real old-fashioned four-poster bed.

Do they live unhappily ever after?
Of course.
Do they undo their mistakes?
Never.
Who is the victim here?
Love is the victim.
Who is the villian?
Love that never dies.

Sometimes he let his eyes rest on hers, it needn't have been painful,
but it strangely was.
He broke a lifetime of avoiding eye contact to show her.
She was worth overcoming obstacles for.