Everything that I feel today
Hides somewhere in my past
I try but it just won't go away
I can feel breaking of my heart

There's so much Inside
But I've got nothing to say
Every whisper that I hide
Makes me not want to stay

What of these cold desires
When my dreams are no-more
Sometimes I can't feel the fire
Maybe I can't get hurt anymore

Of all those morning blues
That clings to me ever-more
Every night I dream of you
Now every memory is cold

I feel like I don't belong
In this world I was born
I watch it pass me by
And I am left so alone
There's no hand to hold
As I walk to the edge of it all
There's a noose around my neck
I hope it breaks my fall


Everything that I know
Is the unknown to my eyes
As I wander along and away
I build a home in my lies

I tried to hold on
But the chains scared my hand
In silence I was gone
And nobody could ever understand

Every promise is broken
As I tear a hole in my skin
Every door now is open
But I'm still trapped within

In my own induced illusion
I see what never was
My life is now a confusion
Never been this lost



What have I become
Just an unfamiliar face
In the mirror I seek someone
But can't see through this haze
There's nothing to hold now
As I walk to the edge of it all
My eyes are lost and blind
But I can still see me fall

Shine of the stars fall across the sea
The crease of the sky dances with the waves
Symphony of the scarred old night ,
Rests so mute on the ground , in its grave

Everything is covered in the ol' silver
Resonating every ounce of its existence
From the sky , wrath of the might shall be delivered
And the withered old hands will show no resistance

What have I done , to be left in this decaying land
These hands maybe old and withered but they do understand ,
What came my way , a curse that wouldn't go away
To be left just a shadow of a forgotten man , of what I am

Tears taught the longing of the mellow years
Hurt preached wisely but this heart could never hear
Always found a reason to bury thy soul
In the gravel and stones this world now bears

Inside was full of scars , more , as I travelled afar
I could feel nothing but my own emptiness
And Taste the sweetness of nothingness , once I was empty nothing to fill my own hollowness ,
Just some more emptiness

The man in me was lost to the ghosts
Lurking in the shadows breaking under the load ,
Eyes searching for the shore upon a sinking old boat , losing every last ounce of hope ,
A wound so deep that even time can cope , lends me a rope

Now, what shall my eyes search for
In this darkness that have engulfed my land and sea ,
Winds howl , brings forth the old lore
Words of the silver moon-light these
withered hands couldn't reach

I'll drown in my own sea of emptiness
A few drops of sorrow this world could never see
As my being turns to corpse and than dust ,
This world will finally forget me


Every lie that crossed my thought
Your lies , their lies , a carcass left to rot
In the morgue ocean , the dead howl all silvery night
With every moment , decaying in the moon-light
I was born in that very cold morgue , a shallow place it tends to be
My fate always temped me to the other-side ,
Away from the comfort of the home and into the rough seas


Your lies , their lies , a carcass left to rot ,
Their eyes , your eyes , searching for what I have not
Your lies , their lies , sent me to the rough seas
Their eyes, your eyes , the world will forget me.

I'm falling apart as i watch the sun set
Oh how i wish to just let go and forget
But now i have this reality staring at me instead
And no matter what i do , its now not just in my head

Every thought is escaping and making a home of its own
Every whisper is now gone , leaving me so alone
Now i have no one to reach out for , every moment a new pain is born
All i have is my heart as i head to the unknown

Every part of me is decaying and dying
As i fall like a pack of cards , winds are leaving their sign
Every tear is rain , even the stars know that I'm crying
And i look in the mirror in a hope to convince myself that I'm just lying

Hands are cold and arms long for a last embrace
I wither before age , i can't even recall my face
Every sight is blurred behind this reflecting haze ,
That makes me see every sight that escapes my gaze

I can't breathe , jaws of my own gloom
strangle me
I want to leave, but the strings of my own doom won't let me be
And i can't see , every last drop of blood in me wants to be free
Drench me in my own nightmares to drown in my own sea
Sacredness of life that i just couldn't keep , of my own creed
A ray of hope and my sinking boat could never meet
Making an ocean of my own sorrow as my every tear bleeds




There's a hope in my heart and death wish in my mind
A will to live that's over-shadowed by the weakness of leaving it all behind
Mind is numb and the eyes are now scared to remind
That I'm lost and i can't find , myself
And now i should even stop trying


For I'm on the edge of existence , standing on a blade that'll cut right through
Sometimes you can't return, no matter how much you want to
You can stay in that moment forever just waiting for it to end
Or you can take a step forth , right into the approaching end


Kiss death for now its your only friend ,
It might show you the way back home.

For Helen
who wrote it first,
who wrote it better,
and in doing so,
makes me see more clearly
the why

~~~~~~~~~

no poem should ever be untitled
every face needs a name
every poem needs just
one read for completion,
but more than that, it is
a orphan still, deserving of,
due the
entitlement to be titled,
a parenting of sorts

what was the thought that born it
what was the emotion that conceived it
what was the sight that demanded sharing

this is the age of summary and synthesis,
140 and not one more,
so give direction, enable me to make
snap judgements, with so much on my plate,
we must predigest your concepts,
my multi-tasking slowed to levels unacceptable,
so I can adjudge you,
you worker poet,
before or never reading
after all,
why read anything untitled

more than this however,
for the few who chew
each morseled vowel,
ken each constant consonant,
celebrate stanzas that halt the breathing
and then,
god bless the whole child,
flaws and all,
they more than anyone deserve
your consideration in return

for the title is the essence spark
of you
and all the more so
of what you have  chosen *to share
of your essentials