Strengthened by courage yet broken by sorrow. Fight today to live tomorrow.

I feel cold as life washes by.
Colder than if I had died.
Even in the flames of hate I warmed slowly.
Back then my hate was simply growing.
Then the burning left. Again I was lonely.
Colder than a stone in ice is how I am.
I think of those flames and I feel them again.
Charred black but suddenly red hot.
Remembering what I wish I'd forgot.
All I am is a stone.
More so than flesh and bone.

Your honor,
What I did was in self defense but I won't pretend that I didn't intend to ****. I didn't pull the trigger for the thrill. I fired of those rounds because I still wanted to live even in this world that's got nothing to give. So I beg of you and the dear lord to forgive my sins.
I saw his knife and I wanted to spare his life but in my plight I reached down to my right and the pistol was there... I sent those bullets through the air because I was scared not compassionately impaired. So I just stood there. The gun was still hot but I felt so cold the police found him and I did as I was told. I dropped the pistol and went flat on the ground hoping the man I shot would still be around to see his family and drink with his friends. Your honor I swear I didn't mean for his life to end... Your honor, I have plead my case. Guilty to manslaughter, four shots to the face. I only ask not to be sentenced for life. If I'm locked up I want to die. Lethal injection and this is why.
If that man went to hell I want to go down there as well. I owe him an apology but not just from me. From this world that was so cruel to him and caused his suffering. If I hear heaven's bells ring then at least I will finally be at peace. I'll ask god to release that man's soul from hell because whatever fate he received I deserve as well.