I ignore you so that you know I am here

I say it doesn't matter,
But oh, how much it does
I know things aren't how you want them to be,
But can't you try a little harder?
I don't want to tell you
How much I care
Out of fear
That it won't make a difference,
I want you to hug me close
So I can hear your heart,
I want you to touch me
Whenever I'm upset
Because I felt I was being torn apart;
I just want someone
To  be there
I want you to kiss my cheek
No matter who is around,
I want you to sweet talk and flirt with me
No matter how it sounds

I say it doesn't matter - but oh, how much it does
I just want affection...
Is that asking for too much?

I find myself free falling
pulled by gravity
watching the ground slowly sneak up on me
and if I knew a way to slow my fall
maybe it would be your arms
that caught my all
but you seem disinterested
distracted by the sky
I'm just another spec of dust
something that's in abundace to find

I am a circle:  
definite indecisions
looped in an array of
implausible logics and standard
reasonings -within their composition
quasi-quarks with peculiar quirks
like most anything-
I want to do how others do
I want to want how they do too

Have you ever been with someone you know you won’t work with but you’re with them anyway because…
I don’t know…
you’re already heartbroken…
what could you have to loose?

This isn't love, This isn't hate.
This is that sorta thing hard to relate.
This isn't luck, this isn't fate,
This is that sorta thing hard to escape.

This is the truth, this is a lie,
This is my reason for getting on by,
This is a low, this is a high,
This is the reason I ask myself, why?.

This is a story that shouldn't be wrote.
This is a saying that you shouldn't quote.
This is a struggle that I've never spoke,
This is the reason I'm rowing the boat.

Why am I rowing the boat?

Refusing to sink,
3 a.m and i think,
By 5 a.m &I; might be crouched over a sink,

What of this life,
So called living,
so called, i haven't felt full since thanksgiving.

So called, so called...
God did his roll call,

And for a second I hesitated.
And whispered, Here... You?
The reply i got was..

I Hear You.



-afj