Nostalgia of flying into my dad’s arms when he arrived home,
Nostalgia of decorating the Christmas tree as a family,
Nostalgia of driving around my Barbie jeep,
Nostalgia of wearing my cat costume everywhere,
Nostalgia of being friends with everyone,
Nostalgia of being naïve,
Nostalgia of a healthy family,
Nostalgia of camping,
Nostalgia of pokemon cards,
Nostalgia of insecurity
Nostalgia of blindness of boys,
Nostalgia of playing dress up,
Nostalgia of being with my best friend,
Nostalgia of family get togethers,
Nostalgia of having hope for something better,
Nostalgia of not fighting,
Nostalgia of stress free mornings,
Nostalgia of that one family vacation,
Nostalgia of my innocence,
Nostalgia of those summer runs,
Nostalgia of rebellion nights with new friends,
Nostalgia of a healthier me,
Nostalgia of getting along,
Nostalgia of knowing what I want,
Nostalgia of time.
Let’s see where it goes from here.

I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

I hide my behavior
to keep you safe.

I keep quiet
not to offend you.

I agree with you
to keep you happy.

I walk on eggshells
for you and
it’s never enough.

I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

but when the truth
arrives at that
final moment;

jaws will drop
plates will shatter
dogs will growl

and
you’ll be long gone
after seeing what
a ghastly beast
I am

but for now

I lie
and
I lie
and
I lie

to keep us
together.