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I cannot make what is of what should.
I have no control.
I am not a breath of life but a kiss of death.
I fall between the cracks into the void.
I have abandoned the notion that I can get better.
I am just bad.
I cannot make what is of what should.
i don’t think I found myself in the poetry, i think i am finding myself in your arms
under the gentle pressure of your fingertips and the velvet embrace of your words.
they think I found myself in the halls of the airport that it walked alone
but
i think i am finding myself in the kitchen of your flat, waiting for the kettle to come to a boil; in cups of tea nursed at the table and I hope that’s okay.
i sip in the same tentative manner that i reach for your hand in the dark; you may have the effervescent beauty of a tree in the autumn but right now i would like to lace my fingers with yours and be human together. i hope that’s okay.
you are like literature and myth; a deep and sprawling spectrum of contradictions and complexities. i feel like teiresias; blind and trapped within my own self-made cocoon of spiralling thoughts.
eyes closed i reach for your hand.
i almost miss my stop on the last train home spilling out sweet words about your everything.
her hair straight out of bed with soft eyes and parted lips, sculpted by aphrodite; carved from the finest marble i want her to pin me down,
to the bed, to reality-
her lips, to guide me
from her waist and back
to sanity. early in the morning
when she wakes up tangled in sheets
with her eyes peeking up over her phone,
soft smile on her lips.
the world stands still in the soft glow of flickering street lights like visible heartbeats, glowing and not glowing in tandem, and the windows are frosted along the edges; worrying a cracked lip between my front teeth i realise this may be the most I have ever thought about tea.
our fingers
tangle, grasp sheets or cheeks rosy
with first-kiss smiles. eyelids
crinkle.
you are butterflies in my stomach, fear and exhilaration, honesty and hope
you are
listening to the same song on repeat; your laugh is the song stuck in my head, every song i’ve ever loved,
the only song i want to listen to.
 Sep 2018 Jasmine dryer
Addie Kay
An eye for an eye
They both go blind.
Bullet right through the chest
Promise it won’t make a mess.
Stab in the back this time
All along I knew your lies.
Time takes hostage too
No escape without clues.
I know
Nobody knew.
 Sep 2018 Jasmine dryer
Addie Kay
Poison has many forms.
A ***** of the finger
Means death will linger.
Poisoned gun
Means no one is done.
Stab of a knife
You don’t get to think twice.
Tasteless wine
Last breath takes time.
Breathe filled with daggers
You’re lungs begin to stagger.
Words spoken twice
Means death won’t be nice.
Closed mind
Takes the longest time.
Your choice.
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