I don’t think I love you anymore

I mean I think I will always love you
But,
I don’t think I’m in love with you anymore.

My tears
Have flowed
For years
For you
Only you

Now,
My eyes are dry

And as you mourn the memory of her
I mourn the memory of you

Still,
I imagine a future
where you
and I
exist together

Unfortunately,
I know
we never will

Missing you,
as always.
Your kind amber eyes.
The soft sound of your laughter.

The memory of you, dances between my thoughts.

Day in.
Day out.

Nothing new.

Reminiscing about a love that was in my dreams. A love that was its own chapter. The chapter been over. I’m just re reading it. Hoping for a different outcome.

But it won’t come. It never will.

I am her. She is me.
Look into my eyes, the soul that stands,
is unrecognizable.
The shift of Oshun causes my femininity to create chaos,
causes my femininity to sky rocket into
the space that many can not reach.
INFINITE love surrounds this entity so be careful where you step.
My presence will change you.
Beware.

Sometimes,
           I can still feel the lingering of your lips on my skin.

You provoke the writer in me,
    to slay the land of poetry,
         and grasp the rope of inspiration.

Human nature wants me to hate you for it.
But the spirit wants me to thank you for it.

Our souls intertwined right?
Or maybe it is just my imagination.

So,
        I know that I am in a constant battle between you
and well…no one.
Your face dances gracefully  back and fourth between the basking of the past and
                           the fantasies of the future.
I guess I am still wondering why you don't see me,
    and how you don't feel the yearning of my spirit.
But,
       One day you are going to lose this gravitational pull between our
energies.
And when that day comes
            it will be ripped from your core, leaving you breathless.
You will always search for me,
              and you will never find me.

The pill renegades the veins
Deluding the reality of time
Sinister waves like puppet strings to the soul
Youth crawls between the cracks of sanity
The stroking of the lights stuns the senses
Thunder clouds of sweat heating the air
The remedies of the tablet sedate the conscious
Shallow scars blur into oblivion
Grinding of the teeth gears the ludicrous thoughts
The need for *** grows and grows
Heart beats and thrill unite
Until you alleviate into nothing

Breathe into my lustful thoughts and ill show you my submissive being
Embrace my skin like rose petals, nourish me with your tongue
I want to expose my ****** spirit to yours and intertwine our heat.
I crave.
I crave you.
I just really ******* crave something that will feed the hunger that lives inside me.
Something that will rise my eagerness to a level of no return.
I want to experience the unthinkable.
Allow your hands to be gentle when you grab onto my desires.
Dance through the fire that flickers between my brain cells.
Please make pleasure ride along my senses, cause a scream to rise in my throat.  
I want it.
I want it so badly that the destination between my thighs cries out for it.
Satisfy me.
Please.

Everytime I close my eyes
I see yours
Traveling down my being with
your lip tugged between your teeth.
The desire you placed in me
was more than nothing,
it was something,
I always craved for
but never had a chance to truly embrace.
And now that I have experienced that untouchable something,
My heart will always yern
for it.

I am the sunflower
that stands just a little taller than the rest.
          My energy can not be compared.
                                 Embrace me.

Nature is my home
It sends me into a
Universe of energy

I like to smoke trees
And forget about all my enemies
Feeling the life
Of nature
Just trying to be me

I want to give my soul
To the sound of the wind
I want to breath in
The entirety of the earth

The melody of the birds
Sends my heart into the
Land of happiness

I love it

I love it

Inspiration glides between my brain cells
As the riot of ideas harmonize
And give me hell

But I write
I write
I write

Oh **** do I write

From the fever of the sun
To the calmness of the moon
Nature is my home

I miss you.
I think about you
With every single
Breath I take.
I wish I could touch you.
I wish I could see you.
I wish you loved like you said you did.
I wish every tear that I shed
Didn't have your name on it.
I wish That time could go faster
Or maybe
Slower.

I miss you.
I miss your laugh.
I miss your moans.
I miss having my best friend.

I wish I could be goofy with you again.
I wish I could stay up all night with you again.
I wish I could listen to you snore again.
I wish God didn't give you away.

I love you still.
I'm in love with you still.
I need you here.
I want you here.

I know you I mean nothing to you But
I hope I do one day.
I hope you see me one day.
I hope you love me one day.
I hope you fall in love with me one day.
One day.

*******
******* for leaving me
******* for hurting me
******* for lying to me
******* for all the smiles
******* for all the laughs
******* for making me cry
Every single night
Your nothing
You never will be nothing
I hope you burn in hell
I hope the flesh crumbles from your bones
******* for making my heart melt
******* for making me love you so much
That every time I think of you
I die a little inside
Your a demon
And I hope you suffer a pain that is
Indescribable
*******

**** it, not again
She’s bleeding
She’s screaming
I can’t stop
 
It feels too good
Her insides are warm,
Wet from the
Blood
 
She screams again
Her horror sounds beautiful
Making it harder
To stop
 
Her fingernails dig
Into the flesh
On my
Back
 
Scratching
Scraping
Begging
Crying
 
I moved my hands
Around her neck
Squeezing
Suffocating
 
Her eyes becomes
Bloodshot
Her face becomes
Blue

I smile as the
Beautiful Horror
Mask the innocence
Of her face

I watched
Death
Over take her
Being

Death ripped through
The Silence
As I laughed looking down
On her

I've killed the one
I once loved
And I didn't even
Know her name

Beautiful Horror
Uplifted my veins
On to the next
Once again

You left me and you didn't even look back
I begged
I cried
I screamed
For you
Only for you
I guess it wasn't good enough
I guess I wasn't good enough
You brought everything back
The shame
The sorrow
The pain
Now I'm here
Alone and Free
Free from the past
Free from from you
Free at last
Thank you
For leaving me and never looking back

My love is too beautiful
My love is too worthy
My love is too peaceful
My love is too free
My love is too gentle
My love is too tender
My love is too sweet
My love is too natural
My love is too poetic
My love is too honest
My love is too musical
My love is too magical
My love is too pure
To be thrown back in my face

The light of my life isn't a light
Not the sun
Not a lamp
The light of my life is different
Just different
My lights silhouette can not be distinguished
The mystery of it's feature lies in the hands of God
The feeling of it's hand is unknown to my skin
The flavor of it's lips unknown to my tongue
The insense of it's being is unknown to my senses
The rythem of it's heart is unknown to my audition
My light is not a light
A man
Who bestows the light in my life
Who destroys the darkness with his laughter
Who detaches the sadness with his words
Who strips the melancholy with his smile
My light does not glow
He shines
More than the sun
More than a lamp
He shines brighter than anything on earth
He Is The Beautiful Light Of My Life

It's amazing how much I really love you
Every sound you make is majestic
Every breath you  breathe brings chills of delight
Every word you speak brings me to life
You move my spirit
I am emotionally attached to your being
You gave me back my soul
And carefully established it into gold
You gave me back my individuality
You brought me the one gift I thought had departed from my heart
Joy
You made me see who I really am
Yours
You made me realize what true happiness is
Love
You gave me that
You

I ******* hate myself
I hate knowing that I will never be loved
Touched
Kissed
No man would ever look at me like a rare object
That when you touch it breaks
I'm never going to the bride
Or the wife
Or the mother
I'm a home wrecker
Heart breaker
Spirit taker
I am nothing

On this night I think
Think about you, me, the world around us
Think about life without you
How lost I feel when I am not with you
Your voice smooth as velvet
My name sounds majestic when,
It slides off your tongue
My love for you is bigger than me
Bigger than us
Bigger than life
I ask the Lord,  why him?
I hate you, then I love you
I cry, then I laugh
I moan, then I whisper
I want you
I want your love
I want your heart
To have and to hold,
To cherish
You are a gift not a charity
You are loved not abandoned
You are powerful not fluctuant
You are honorable not a disgrace
You are mine
All mine
I am yours
All yours



                                                                 Always

Today I walk in shame

            As my heart is filled with pain

                                Life will never be the same

I’ve known words:
I’ve known words passionate as lovers captivated in each other’s eyes and more soothing than the wind whispering sweet nothings into your hair.
My words have grown beautiful and impassioned.
I wrote “Hear me now!” filled with anger and determination.
I’ve wrote “Altered” embraced with chance and adventure.
I’ve wrote “Dark” brimming with love and revival.
I’ve wrote “After” clutched with deception and pain.
I’ve written words:
Powerful, heart clenching words.
My soul has grown mighty like my words.

Inspired by: Duke Ellington "Solitude"

The lights low
Music slow
My palm rests itself on the small of her back
My shoulder holding the weight of her head
The rhythm of "Solitude" moving the souls of our feet
With every step builds our wall of love
Taking away
All the pain we thought was here to stay

God is certainly on my side
As her eyes begin to hide
A ghosted smile upon her lips
Bring her closer, grab her hips

Tonight I fall in love
With a beauty that can only be sent from above
I take away her fear
Take away her shame
Take away her pain

Tonight we lock our hands
As we end our Lovers Dance