When your heart is too large
You forget to close the door
And stray tomcats walk on in
Where there is nourishment to feed on
And a bowl of cool milk
But when you want them gone
They send questioning glances
And wonder when you shut the window
Folowed by the slam of a door

It all started in this theater
In this parking lot
Standing next to this truck...
So let the windows fog up
We aren't looking through
The only thing I can see
Is the light in your eyes shining blue

Alas, I am only moments away
Be quick and painless should you be    
Coward I may be but sweet
Departure will set me free

Evergreen my soul shall remain
Forgotten my name so let it befall
Go my shadows and run free
Hurt I shall no longer feel

Iapetus bids me farewell
Janus takes my hand
Keres caroled hymns of a psyche finally joining the band
Loving the way that fate has been cruel

My steps begin to falter as
Nostalgia suddenly embraces me
Once more I am at the cross roads
Played by to suffer forever I will be

Quest of mine, I failed you
Reaching for eternal bliss
Seduced to cut loose
To be far away from my own inferno

Understood my reasons will never be
Vain your pleas will become
Walls of Jericho crumbled down as did my spirit
Xenophobic our world has turned out

Young and carefree cease to exist
Zealotry towards living shall soon come to pass

We all see each other in the hallway
   in between classes, at lunch, at 3:15
      but do we honestly see each other?
Do we see these poems, these words
   that are often full of darkness and misunderstandings
       but sometimes light and forgiveness?
I see you, friends of mine
   hiding in the shadows of our legacy
      ...but do you see me?

I chose Joseph because while God called Mary to say "yes",
He asked Joseph to say "no". No to everyone around me,
no to the latest fashions and trends, no to my own fear
of what they all think, no to whatever it is within me that says no
no to those who tell me to ignore my heart,
no to those who tell me to listen to my heart at the cost of all else,
no to forgetting the meaning of truth,
no to "love", no to my own wants, no to selfishness,
no to everyone saying to "be myself",
no to giving up, no to saying yes.
God asked me to say no, and that will hurt a whole lot ******* more
than saying yes would ever have.

Sometimes I think about the night I attempted to end my life.
Sometimes I think about what things would be like without me.
Who would sit in my desk in civics class?
Would anyone look to God and ask why?
Where would my father, my sweet and caring father, be?
What about my grandma who sees herself in me?
And my mother? My brother? My sister?
What would they have done with my things?
Would they have left my room untouched, a shrine to a life cut short?
What of my friends? Of the boy with bright eyes that hadn't set on mine?
Would my so called best friend miss me?
Would I be worth his tears?
I wish I had the answers, I wish I knew.
But for now, I'll continue living.
And I'll continue being new.

"I love you" while you see them hungry should mean you feed them
"I love you" while you see them thirsty should mean you give them to drink
"I love you" when you see them naked should mean you clothe them
"I love you" in the midst of all this need does not say,
"I love your hunger, I love your thirst, I love your nakedness."
It says, "I love you, and because of that,
"I hate your hunger, I hate your thirst, I hate your nakedness."
Love does not mean leaving as be, love does not mean acceptance.
Love means feeding and giving water and clothing, love means fixing.
Love means love of you and thusly a non-acceptance of their faults,
a non-acceptance of their problems and their needs,
Love means that you must give, to sit down like the Good Samaritan
and feed the destitute,
give water to the man lying down,
and offer him your coat.
Love does not mean that you wander by the homeless man and think
to yourself how wonderful that person must be and how much you appreciate
their existence and how we cannot judge others
and how each soul is worth something.
In fact, each of these truths are true but if you believe them, you have
to take them to action. If you think someone is wonderful, I do not believe you
until you help them and show them your love.
If you do not try to help and fix someone,
I do not believe you appreciate their existence.
If you do not try and help the homeless man,
I do not believe you think he is not at fault for his homelessness.
If you do not take the lost and poor and needy under your arms,
I do not believe that you believe every soul is worth something.
Love means action. Love is not words.
If love is only words, it means nothing. It is not love.
However, we know what love is- we were given a definition.
"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me."
Love does not leave hungry, thirsty, stranger, naked, sick, and lonely.
Love is not acceptance. Love fixes. Love does.

don't do that to them. don't just disappear, leaving them to think about you in the mornings when they wake up and at night before they go to bed and in the quiet moments when their group of friends stop talking or on the long car rides when all they're left to do is stare out the windows or when they see a happy couple in public and wonder "why wasn't i given that?". they'll wonder what happened. wonder if they should still hurt from being left hanging from the frail branch of false hope. wonder if they're still supposed to care. you'll leave them glancing at their phone screen when it lights up hoping the words say your name and imagining what they could say if it did, but deep down knowing they won't. they'll lose the ability to focus on anything but deciphering what went wrong and what they could have done wrong. what they didn't give you that you wanted or needed. what words they could have said to make you stay. they'll notice you in everything their eyesight comes across. they'll see your eyes in the glinting stars and your smile in the crescent moon and hear your laughter in the saddest of songs. don't leave them to act like they don't feel the hollowness and lump in their throat when people ask them about it. don't leave them to hold back tears when they remember moments. just don't do it. they're better than that, they don't deserve that, and you know it.

when you reappear in the sky, my soul is regrown
shoot an arrow straight to my heart, many nights
spent under the stars in this moonlit purple dome
steam runs off our skin, while the heat waves rise
running together in this exhilarating light, over the stones
that cut our feet. I don't miss home. (Who would have known?)
We do not stand alone.