What do you do when you
Forget
How to write
When the words inside you
Hide
Deep in the deaths of your mind
When, no matter how long you swim
Down
Down
Down
Until the sea is the color of ink,
The words still evade you.
The body is a cage
But the mind is
Infinite
And has infinite places to hide
I wish I had as much control as those sneaky little words do
Wish I knew how to hide like them
Wish the uncharted territory of my amygdala was lit up with bioluminescence
Like other, safer parts of my brain
I wish I understood
Understood why I’ve
Forgotten
How to write.

He is dark,
A shadow, seeping into every corner
of my mind.
I feel his presence
When I stand
alone
in the dark.
He joins me in my solitude
And spreads throughout my soul
as I change to match his energy.
He is the night.
He is the midnight blackness of the trees against a navy sky.
He is water like ink splish-splashing quietly in the deep.
He is cold, his soul almost empty.
Almost.
He kills the light, bludgeons it viciously as the sun's gore flies.
Is there any compassion left in him?
Can he love
one
more
time?
He is beautiful, mysterious, intriguing.
I will spend the rest of my life trying to understand him, but
never
come
close.
He is Love and possession and power.
He is ferocity contained in silent stillness.
He was never a child, and did not come from Earth, but has always been there
in space
waiting
for
me.

Existing in a haze
Daydreams crowd her brain
She surrendered and smiled
Said, "I think I'll stay a while"
As she stared into space
And her mind began to race
The belonging that she chased
No longer did it evade

When

Alice, Alice, bleeding soul
Fled into her rabbit hole
Dreaming of a better world
Broken, mad and all alone
Alice, Alice, don't let go
But Wonderland is her true home
She needs it so she can cope
Madder than a hatter, Alice
Broke

So now she sits alone
She's lost track of time
Gazing into the distance
She exists within her mind
Sometimes she comes back
But joy she cannot find
So in her mind she'll drown
Falling deeper down, down, down

Alice, Alice broken soul
Lives inside her rabbit hole
Seeking out a better world
One where she'll never be alone
And they cry, "Alice, don't let go!"
But Wonderland is all she knows!
Reality holds no more hope
Madder than a hatter, Alice...

Alice, Alice hopeless soul
Held captive by her rabbit hole
Her daydreams will not let her go
Lost her mind so long ago
Alice, Alice, now she knows
Her Wonderland was all a hoax
Now she's just a shadow
Madder than a hatter, Alice
Choked

Welcome to Wonderland!
Alice looks around and decides she wants to stay a while.
Inside her brain, she can be
whatever she wants.
Inside her brain, her pain no longer exists,
and she is no longer Alice, but someone
better.
As she stares into space, she journeys deep inside her mind until she finds something new
and entirely perfect.
She found somewhere worth staying.
As she developed this new world
and her lovely characters,
paras,
she stayed for longer and longer
and was never bored again.
On the contrary, she was
happy.
Happier than she had ever been in reality.
So she wondered to herself,
Why
Leave?
But her Wonderland came at a price.
Dissociation was her plague as she fought to stay present
in what was once her reality.
As returning to her body became harder and harder,
Alice gave up trying
to fight the daydreams as they
crowded
her
mind,
leaving room for
nothing
else.
But it didn't matter.
Because in Wonderland,
Alice was content
free
loved.
She belonged.
She accepted her insanity as
beautiful.
And chose Wonderland as her home.
Everyone warned her of its dangers.
Tried to keep her
in their nightmare
reality.
But Alice vowed to
never
turn
back
as she embraced
her Wonderland

To the one I used to love, used to need:
You never
text
me.
It's like you
moved
on
the second I was
gone.
As for me, I've been
S T U C K
in the memories.
I can't not
think
of
you.
But I think I
may
be
moving
on.

Paper
A confider
A confinement
A trap
A relief
Beautiful
Noise
Silence
Screaming
Gasping for breath
Sitting quietly on a page
Flutters in the wind
So much, on so little
Tell it your secrets
It won't betray you
It won’t comfort you
Share with the world
Anonymous, if you want
It wont tell
It will be silent
Heartbreak, relief, sadness, love
On a weightless page
An airplane
A boat
A butterfly
paper