your beautiful, crystal armor
will not shield your horrific soul
forever
for the thorns of your rose
are evident to those who look
past your gorgeous red pedals
and the ignorant are unaware
that your rose has been picked
and will slip into death's
significant touch

I have never been that girl that is surrounded by all these different kinds of people that adore and lust over her beauty

Maybe that's who I was just not meant to be

That girl that can captivate a room by her smile
That girl who is known by many and known for her trendy sense of style
Maybe that's who I was just not meant to be

That girl who radiates with confidence and puts on her makeup flawlessly
That girl who can take a photo and not be able to point out every single flaw and insecurity
That girl who doesn’t pass by the mirror and isn’t afraid to creep over and stare her young eighteen-year-old self in the face, in fear of witnessing all the scars and imperfections that she tries to cover up every day

That girl that doesn't bury her feelings so deep that she feels like there's a dark cloud over her feet to the point where she's weak at the knees and can no longer physically breath

Maybe that's Who I was just not meant to be

I know I shouldn’t let these things control my happiness
I know I shouldn't let these things intimidate me from being the real me

Because what's wrong with me?

Maybe because that’s who I just wasn’t meant to be

And That girl doesn’t exist

That girl is a figment of our imagination that has let our minds open to being filled and poisoned by the idea that beauty is determined by what you look like on the outside and not what's on the inside

The idea that someone can cut and carve your face and erase the things that you once saw and create a whole new face

The idea that I am powerless without the touch of a brush against my face every day

Beauty is a trail of sounds that makes you question your entire self-worth but

See I was destined to be that girl that lives every day because she believes that is something we should all cherish

That girl who loves herself and prides herself on not being a size 0
That girl who is powerful and will one day change the world
That girl who is strong and a fighter and maybe not the best writer
That girl who works hard for what she wants and fights for the ones she loves

Now that s the girl I was meant to be  being a size 0
That girl who is powerful and will one day change the world
That girl who is strong and a fighter and maybe not the best writer

you are addicted to falling, which is to say
you exercise mind over matter, a grand reclamation
of flesh, is to say
you crave an escape from monochromity,
into monochromity
chase honesty into a corner
you howl out Death's name like you mean it.
is it too late? when your slippers grow cold but 
the memory of regret still lingers where it struck you mid-
air,  regret that wins when you lose yourself to
gravity's palm
so learn to look down-
learn to let go.
let ghost

The other day,
I heard the song that we had decided on.
Not the one we chose,
'Cause it was catchy and upbeat.
But the unfamiliar tune that put my feelings into words.
That blaring song we had made love to.
Simultaneously climaxing during the guitar solo; it was decided as we caught our breaths and listened.
This was our new song.
I'm proud to say,
It brought good thoughts to me.
And I realized that I am finally over you.