i don't understand my love for you

sometimes i love you as a bee does honey
but other times i love you as if I am fire and you are a huge tide destined to put me out

sometimes my love for you is pure, all i wish for is you to be happy
and other times my love for you is full of hate and anger

sometimes i hate you more than i love you
and in a matter of seconds, I love you more than I've loved anything else

my love for you is chaos, toxic, and unfulfilling
our love is bound to end in bright red, orange, and blue flames that will consume every bit of us

but until the end, my love for you will burn

I hate you
For letting me love you
When you never loved me

Water flows
Trees grow
But all i want
Is a bottle of pills
Just to ****
The demons living inside me

Oh Monday
Your a day
Full of heartache
Lots of gray

You start out sunny
Then comes the rain
Then the anger
With lots of pain

Oh Monday
I hate your day

Waking up without him,
in an apartment that still doesn’t
feel like mine has only gotten
harder.
Many of my days begin
with tears or a slight panic attack
just remembering I won’t
get to see him.

I never fell out of love.