Sometimes I choke back tears
Sometimes I hinder in doorways
Sometimes I'm just numb
But I'm always throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I feel like nothing at all
Sometimes I use the scissors
Sometimes I OD
Then I'm throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I think it's all okay
Sometimes I smile again
Sometimes it's not worth it
So I'm throwing up anti depressants
Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever wake
Sometimes I wonder if I want to
Sometimes my dreams are everything
I'm just throwing up anti depressants

Peering through lashes at his form
He is more powerful than he gives himself credit for
His body is strong and lean
But his mind is stronger
Layered with complexity and intelligence

He is the first
The first to break through her rules of life
Logic becomes a distant memory
Years of experience
She is suddenly new, shiny and green

His mind like a magnet
His words an aphrodisiac
His touch..
His touch, her reason lost
She is in a new world

In his world
Each day she is high
She loves the feeling
Words become her rush
Love becomes a crutch

Eyes shut, judgement fades
Quivering she cannot control
He takes over her senses
Pushing deep to her soul
She loses herself

No words escape her lips
She is confused in a haze of euphoria
Her high unimaginable
Chocking with desire
She is lost in his love

But he is strong, stronger than her
He just doesn’t know it
Her mind crowded, her senses returned
Now crashing
Still lost , his love gone

Hey you
can you be pure
can you  be true ?
can you stay the way you are
Cause you're cute
when you let go
of all pretenses
And all the hidden agendas
Just be real with all your senses
To what your feeling right here right now with me
surrender

Cause you're cute

you're cute  

I wanna tell you how cute you are

Dark floats out into the silence
Crashing on the banks of Prometheus's wings
Opening a velvet-silk curtain.
To a fabric of shadowed stars
Cloudy fingers sew it clean
While invisible hands stitch pearls back in.
A ghost flits on the hallway stair
Reaching for the last shafts of sun
Tumbling off a silent dream
Blind as black with a lullaby hum
Filling the gaps in an empty line
Somewhere between dusk and dawn.

I tell you of the time I almost drowned in the sea, because I wanted to know the taste of salt and ocean freedom. I was young, foolish and curious; a combination that invited disaster merely by existing in the same spheres of thought. The ocean was warm that day, although I thought it would be icy cold. I swam out against the tide and current, closed my eyes and let the murky turquoise waves wash over me; then darkness. Even in the midst of my suffocation, the loosening grip of this world never scared me, only calmed me. I wondered how it would be like to sink to the bottom and find serenity, peace and tranquility, away from the glaring rays of the sun and the fears that remained on the surface.

I lived to tell the tale of course,
but I never forgot how the sea gave me death and life all at once.

You laugh, and say you're very glad I'm still alive.
I smile in return, because I am too; to be able to meet you.

-

I never tell you how you are now the ocean for me.

(A.H.Z)

Emotions take me physical
Making me their slave
They trick me
Into a false reality
Consuming my sanity
They seize my control
I am held captive
With an illusion that is seeping through
And with a slight glance
I see them inside,
I am a puppet
Lifeless with eyes,
Eyes that gaze over
Them pulling strings
Once thought mine
Now torn to shreds
I start to fail,
And as I quiver
I stay quiet
This control over me
Has me still
But staring,
I plead silently
Just let me run away
Into thoughts once alive
But in reality
I am perishing
In lifeless thoughts
Filled with poison
That I am not awake
Only just a waste