Death overcame him
How could it not?
Death is, after all, the final say
Of all the things that could have been said
Of all the people that could have said them
Death spoke last
And I couldn't argue with it
Because there was nothing left to say

i sold out
i'm sold out
i filled the auditorium
because i advertised what they wanted to see
but i'll rather cut myself on mirror glass than look at me
i show you you
because you like you
i like that you like what you see
but it's not me
my smile is known
because it's already been shown
i'll rather cut myself on your teeth that smile with my own
you like my fashion
because i'm wearing your skin
its neat and clean
but it's too tight for me to fit in
i look like all your reflections
but watered down versions
plastered up images that show year round
nothing new
its just you
but its image filled room
i wonder how much people would still remain
if they knew they were looking at me
dressed in your face

I looked at you as if you were bottled love


Because a bottle's worth is all that you were offering me

i want to walk
following streams and roads
until they run slower and slower and eventually run out
just me, my feet, and the idea of never returning
in the day i'll dance with the sun rays
at night i'll make small talk with the stars
i'll smoke the air
drink the clouds
shower in the wind
and dry myself in the warmth fireside
i'll walk until my shoes split in two
and my feet start to bleed
my clothes will tear
and hair will become greasy
and i'll walk on
until i wake up in the same desk chair i fell asleep behind
looking at a pc screen
and remembered that sleeping is for dreamers
and walking out is for quitters

It was December and it was hot
And my skin got burned on top
Sticky wet feet
Ocean deep
I saw forever
Even if it was just a glimpse in twinkly waves a shore
I begged the sea to show me more
But the waves just retreated like they did before
And with my twelve year old mind, I lingered on the glimpse I saw
I held that glimpse, tiny, glossy, and vast
And surrendered my days to thoughts of future past
That image, so pure, that to it all new memories lost caste
I closed my eyes and allowed the present to dissolve

The years came soon after that moment it the sun
And with each new day my search begun
While scratching through hours to find the glimpse I gazed upon
It began to dawn on me that that moment was gone
Though as an adult, I still held on to the dream
That the sea would spit out at me
A moment in which I could believe
Truth took root, as dull and unforgiving as it is
That that moment was simply meant for a kid

So I packed my bags on that glimpse that I saw
And began living each day as blind as before
With no touch point in the future for me to search for
I threw that glimpse back to the shore

Insecurities
Are friends to me
They stick closer to me than family
They sit opposite me at the dinner table
And are my plus ones at every social event
I can push them away
And ignore their eye lines
But when the crowds are gone
They are all that remain
And they'll never leave me
As loyal as pets
Closer than lovers
Always offering a hand
And word of advice
Until I drown out the words of everyone else
And they are all I have
And all I hear

Last night, I dreamt
And crept into a passage way in my mind
Where things aren't quite actual
Or neat and passive and linear
In a cold sweat I realised
Dreams are faint little things
That plow you over
By arranging your thoughts in a clownish manner
What once was a sound man
Is a  strange one at night
In a place only he will ever visit
In his bed and in his mind
What scared me the most
When my eyes were closed
Is not the insanity that slowly arose
Its the tiny remnants of reality that was interwoven in between
The wacky wonders that float around in me
Pieces of truth
The dreamer would argue
Trying to explain themselves the best way they knew how to
And drips out in dots of odd shades
That leaves you in foggy wonderment for hours and days
Whatever it was
Its between my bed sheets and me
When I woke up I found it there
Just lingering