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 Jul 2018 harmony crescent
Emma
I long to drown in my silence
Crushed beneath a life of suffering
A life I was never meant for

Alone in an endless sea
Asleep forever
In total darkness

To be forgotten
And reunited with the soil
That falls like sand around me

As they learn to move on
To die in my sleep
Never knowing
If life gets better
this is terrible
Poetry to me...

Is the space in-between
The heart and the mind
The beat and the think
The in and the out
The lost and the found
The moment it all
Comes back around
The river that flows
Out from the soul
To parts unknown
Places untold
All that is seen
In the hidden deep
All this you see

Is poetry to me...
And I watched all night as you bled
Never left the side of your bed
What became of this life I had
Too numb to even feel bad
I wanna see your face tonight
Just to know if these feelings are true
So I cried like you were dead
You never showed up
Never showed up
Yeah I watched you just as you bled
Told me everything that you had read
Thought that I was gone past ten
Wanna go through this song again
Too soon the hours of mine will be over
there's still light, to love and beauty I must surrender
I don’t know, but
You seemed to
Actually
Care about me
About my state
Of being.

You were afraid for me
Do you love me?

I don’t love you,
yet.
I think i’d like to.

But thank you for
Actually caring
Because worrying
Is something
He’d never do.


Maybe he’d give me
An “aw, man that *****”
Or a “feel better soon”

Not an immediate
“oh f*ck
"what happened,
“Oh my god,
"Are you okay?”
He'd give me
No clear concern
No, “as long as you’re safe.”

Thank you for caring.
It helped me make my decision.
Thank you for caring.
it helped me actually listen
To what zoe had to say
And made me wonder
If it’s true that,

You know,

Maybe
it wouldn’t be
Such a bad thing
For me
to love you
If maybe
You love me too.
I am what I am
a man with no plan

but I don't understand?
  you don't have a plan


I don't have a plan
what's to understand?

What about your hopes and dreams?

I just dont know I screamed!
Why do I need dreams to succeed
and what is success anyway?
Why can't I just live my life at play


because you have to take things seriously

seriously, but why?

Imagine all the regrets you will have when you die

regrets about not having a plan?
but what if I die before I can fulfil my plan
now its me that doesn't understand
how can I write a story
if its constantly unfolding
it sounds kinda boring
to already know the ending
I would much rather sing
and why do I need a career path
when I would much rather laugh
all this planning seems so daft!


But you have to be a responsible adult

you mean like a banker that steals?
or a soldier that kills?
or a politician that lies?
or a butcher that cuts up animals with knives?


no! no! those are just the extremes!
you got to have dreams!


I do dream
of being free
of being me
no judgements
no labels
just what you see


But what about a vocation?
a location?
somewhere to hang your hat!


life is a vacation
I don't need none of that!


look I am what I am
a man with no plan
you don't have to understand
as long as you can

can what?
just can.
Something I wrote whilst eating my porridge.
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