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 Feb 2015 Nora
Huda
Untitled
 Feb 2015 Nora
Huda
I stand alone where we first stood
and the place offers me three pills

the first pill will give me the rush, the shivers and the loss of breath, one more warm cup of coffee with a last cigarette, burnt fingers with a puff of cold breeze and three cracked stars that no longer shine

The second pill will make me live through everything again and gives me a chance to ask the unasked questions for the sake of sanity

The third pill offers nothing but making all this go away
there was no good and bad
it was all just a sneak peek of perfection

I cling to my bed, sink your scent in
whisper to myself: "It's just you"

dragging myself into earth
I open the doors of reality to pick between
the burning fire
the darkest cave
and the edge of falling an endless fall

But knowing that by picking any of these doors
I'm accepting to be alone

I take all three pills and pick to stay where I am and go to deep sleep and let my dreams and nightmares choose for me
 Feb 2015 Nora
Huda
Untitled
 Feb 2015 Nora
Huda
اظهر لك ما أخفيه عن نفسي
تعال لأعزف على اوتارك ألحان التمني
فمعازفي تشتكي شوقا
وسفينتي تريد ان ترسي
عشت ببحرٍ، بعاصفةٍ، بقصرٍ
لكن افكاري تتوقك حينما تمسي  
إليك الرجوع و الانتماء
و أقصى رغبات البقاء
فكل ما دونك هراء
والحنين.. فيني لعينيك ليس له فناء
تشتهي نفسي الصحيح منك و الخطأ
تشتهي نفسي و يكاد ينهيها الظمأ
تشتهي نفسي لكن ما رغبت به بعيد
وليس كل مرغوب يدرك
وليس كل مبتسم سعيد..
 Feb 2015 Nora
Huda
Goofily singing me out of my misery
kissing me out of reality and tucking me in between two night clouds
asking the unnamed dragon with the eyes of glass to take care of me

buried kisses on my forehead to **** what's on the other side
**** what's on the other side

the white winged dragon is setting me on fire
reality is ******* me back in
                                            Help me
                          Sing me out of this for now
 Feb 2015 Nora
Huda
Frowns
 Feb 2015 Nora
Huda
Frowns caused by:
Not being able to reach the rocks in the bottom of the prettiest ocean to draw you the path that suits your existence

Not being able to show you the orchids you grew beneath my skin, the dead stars that's tucked underneath my eyelids or the half dead butterflies that keep feeding on the shivers down my spine

Stepping on the tips of my toes to grab a handhold of the cloud you named after us, I have a taste of the disappointment

We get high on thoughts we seek

Frowns caused by everything but you

I am the smoke you breath in then out and disappear for you to take another puff

I am the dried tears on your cheeks that's caused by sanity and nonsense

I am the night clouds that cover the moon and stars and everything that's beautiful

I am the seaweed in that ocean of yours

I am
Perhaps
Not what belongs to you
Perhaps
Not yet
 Jan 2015 Nora
Huda
I hide behind the trees from people, my own thoughts, reality, and you

the waves sing your name
the stars draw a picture of your cheeks
the trees hand me a crown of magical leaves that forbids such things as you

I'm far away from everything else
my plan almost worked
but I found you sitting and staring at the door that I escape to whenever I turn everything off, you're there and I can't do nor want to do anything about it

I guess what the waves, the stars, the unmagical crown of leaves are trying to make me realize is: perhaps I miss you
 Jan 2015 Nora
bcg poetry
Home is supposed to be safe
Home isn't supposed to desert you
Home is supposed to love you unconditionally
Home isn't supposed to make you want to pull out the blade
Hope is supposed to be comfortable
Home isn't supposed to require little white pills
Home is supposed to be you
Home isn't supposed to be killing me
 Jan 2015 Nora
Nefelibata
Perfection
 Jan 2015 Nora
Nefelibata
I write to you when im high
Because I can be myself
You don't live in my brain
You are far behind
You are that voice that has no sound
I only hear you when I'm ******
And now I'm not making any sense
You are the senses
The forgotten senses
I hear you. I smell you. I kiss you
You exist.  
I write to you letters in my head
About how we met last month
About rooftops and winter nights
About you and I
You are a reality and yet you are the day dream
I fairytale wants to be
You are the chapter of a missing book
Dont go where you belong child
Stay where you are
Let our lips meet again
You took me far away
I found perfection
I found it and I kissed it's lips
I was stirred awake by a sound so familiar
A cry barely audible through closed doors
Gently I removed her head from its home
Nestled close upon my chest
As not to disturb an angel from her slumber,
The rest a mother so dearly deserves
I rose to my feet, a guardian to those I love
Feeling as I always have before, a need to protect them
With subtle steps I crept over to the room adjacent
Expecting to find only a child, teary eyed and alone
The cries were louder now, but the bed empty
A fear rose over me, for the boy’s only two
Franticly I searched through the closet and clutter
My heart beat quickly against my chest
I lifted the mattress, greeted at last by bright blue eyes
My hands wrapped around tiny wrists
Pulled him free from his hiding
Picked him up with relief like none I’d felt before
Held him tight in my tattooed arms
And he rested his head upon my shoulder
But the tears still they streamed
I could feel their cold trails
As they rolled down my bare back
I rocked him the way she had so many times before
Promised him everything would be alright
He clung fast to me, I could sense he’d found safety
And soon the tears ceased to flow
While his mother was sleeping I was proud of myself
Taking care of my family, everything just felt so right
As I basked in the moment and whispered to him
Suddenly, slowly, he lifted up his little head
Turned toward the door and then he said, “Mommy”
And surely enough through the crack she was there
Watching her man with her boy in his care
I could see in her eyes that she’d found all she’s wanted
In those few short minutes, in that little room
She had seen all the wonder that I had felt
If reality is far better than you can imagine
There’s no need for sleep when real dreams can happen

— The End —