She’s silent but loud,
Screaming for help.
Although no one hears her,
I do.
She’s alone but has me.
No friends but me.
Forever in her head.
Thoughts.


There isn’t a cloud in the sky but it’s raining.
She’s calling your name,
You don’t hear her.
She’s crying but not making a sound.
She’s sad, but excited.
Soon to be reunited with him.
Forever in her mind.
Him.

Weaping tears of sorrow,
Missing you is her only regret,
But yet she loved you so,
Enough to give her easily broken heart to you.
Forever in her mind.
You.

Days passed,
Her smile faded,
Her laugh disappeared,
Eyes darkened,
She felt alone,
Like no one cared,
Useless,
Worthless,
He knew otherwise.

He never gave up on saving her.
Told her jokes,
Held her,
Let her sleep on his shoulder when she couldn’t sleep the night before,
Just listened to her.
She loved him,
But was afraid of losing him.
He was all she had.

I needed you to catch me.
You took your life while drunk as hell.
I ******* miss you.
Are you ******* happy now!?
You took your own life.
****,
You took my soul with you.
My heart aches at the thought of your name.
You were my best friend and I couldn't save you.
Where are you?

I saw the regret in your eyes,
And for a moment I hoped you understand.
You pulled the trigger!
You pulled your life strings,
It wasn't your time!
You promised to be there for me everyday of my life!
You were my everything and you just killed yourself?
I loved you.

You began to crumble in my hands and fade away.
Did you hear my cries for you?
Your blood scattered all about that abandoned barn.
I ran at the thought of you taking your life.
I wanted to wake up from this dream but
I was already awake.
And it was a reality I couldn't live with.
Reality crashed down onto me and I couldn't breathe.
Someday I will wake up and realize you are gone.
Gone for good.

She had been so busy locking away her feelings,
She couldn’t see her mother’s concerned face.
Or her boyfriend’s heart shatter at the sight of her in that body bag.
She had given up in everyone and wouldn’t let anyone in,
She got to the point of taking her own life instead of losing someone else.
She had not thought of how it would affect them.
She thought she would be forgotten but wasn’t.

A memorial was placed for her inside her own home.
Her own front porch,
Became her mother’s sanctuary.
In days time her family's lives have been turned upside down.
Their little girl gone.
Without a trace of what caused this.
If only someone was there when she needed them the most.

While standing there,
In her clouds,
She falls to her knees,
Broken in the afterlife.
Who would have thought that this jewell had a devilish mind of impure thoughts.
She knew the feeling of regret but never fully felt it until then.

“It was suppose to relieve me.
Not hurt me in the long run.”
She cried out.
“Mom I’m sorry,”
She looks at her boyfriend from up above,
And cries out to him.
“I’m sorry i’m sorry!
I never meant to hurt you”

She laid there crying for hours,
Until she could no longer breathe.
“Doctor! Doctor! She is waking up!”
She opened her eyes to find herself in a hospital room.
Monitor at full working rate.
Her boyfriend who has never looked so pale raised his eyes to meet hers.
She was weak and couldn’t say a thing.
But he knew exactly what to say,
“I love you”

Her breathing slowed,
Her sobs quieted down as she laid there.
And for a brief moment everything was alright.
It was over,
She couldn’t go back and at that time she didn’t want to.
She stood there looking at her lifeless body as she faded off into the distance.
But suddenly,
With one foot in the light
She hears a familiar voice.
“Don’t leave me, i need you”

Who was that familiar voice,
No on ever needed her.
No one loved her,
Cared,
Missed,
Or even liked her.
Or so she thought.

She stood there crying,
For no apparent reason.
She wrecked someone's world,
Someone who cared.
She couldn't remember anything,
She wanted to go back but couldn’t find a way out she was too far gone.

“Was it a dream?
Or was it real.
Could she not go back?
Who said that?”
So many thoughts ran through her head that she forgot.
She forgot the light just beyond the door.
Once again she was trapped in her thoughts,
Alone and wondering.
What would’ve happened if i had stayed?

What's so good about picking up the pieces?
What if i can’t pick myself up enough to pick up what's remaining?
I can’t forget you.
You were the reason i shattered like glass all over the **** floor.
Your smile crushed my heart.
Your laugh killed me instantly.

I spectated while you played the game with my heart.
I never owned it,
You did and held it in your unwelcoming hands,
Crushing it with all your might.
You left me lying there beaten up crying and breaking.
I collapsed in your arms but you threw me down.

You threw me away,
Almost as easily as someone throwing a piece of trash in the trash can.
Your words struck my already broken heart.
Why i came back i may never know.
I just laid there not knowing how to breathe because i gave you my lungs.
I ached for you.

I ached for the way you smiled at me after you beat me,
Or the way you said you loved me while you were crushing my heart.
You cut off all communication to the ones i loved,
And when i came close to closing the door a new one opened up.
I don’t know how you did it,
But you lowered my chance of survival from this hell called loved.

Did you even love me at all?
Or was it the thought of having something you could control.
Did you think it was that easy to escape the way you treated me.
Or was it the possibility of me loving another soul to much to bare?
Not much i knew,
But i knew you never loved me yet,
I stayed for you.

I called your name,
I called you the way you taught me.
I couldn’t fall asleep without you beating me senseless.
Sadly this is not just physically,
But it was much more than physically.
It was every ******* thing possible.
You were the devil himself.
You left and never came back.
I was afraid of escaping.
I pulled together and push myself through the door.
I was finally hopeful.