You miss me.
At least, I think that's what this means.
That when our eyes meet in passing
And I can feel your melancholy from 20 feet away,
That when you confess you've been listening to mixes made just for you,
That when I had to leave and we embraced
It felt like clinging to a cliff-face,
That maybe it all meant that you missed me.

When you went looking for me at work,
When you squinted into the windows as you passed
Looking for me to be there
Were you thinking of me?
Were you missing me?

Tell me something,
When you're with her,
Do you think of me?
When you're kissing her neck in passionate moments,
Do I ever cross your mind?
When you're about to fall asleep at night,
Those moments before unconsciousness seeps into your skin,
Am I passing through your thoughts?

You miss me, maybe.
I can't quite tell for sure,
So I rely on hope.
But darling,
You beautiful, shattered, bittersweet soul,
I miss you to the depths,
So much sometimes that it steals my breath.

You are heaven-sent
Yet you always seem to forget.
Born in pain and agony,
Brought screaming into this world with regret.
And yet
You chose to let that define your life.

Blocking every shot that comes your way,
Until your find yourself at the bottom
Drowning like all your fake friends.
But it takes spine and guts to face yourself
To take action and change.

Will you brave those waters through still and storm?
Will you be more than just a verse in a song?

I can't help but wonder what I did
Uncertain, unknowing.
What made you stay
But the moment you were away,
You just kept on running.
What magic trick were my hands weaving
Behind my back, unseen, unfelt?
What did I do to make you stay,
Am I guilty of manipulation?
Because once you stepped out that door,
You were never coming back,
And yet,
Before you left,
Before you took those steps
You said it was difficult, painful
That you didn't want to.

So what made you stay?
And what's making you run away?

I am thinking of you sitting in a dark room with a drink in hand
Clenching your jaw like you do when you're trying to rein-in emotion

And I'm not there.
Even if I was, there is nothing I could do to take that pain away.
Not the guilt, self-hatred, or the anger.

And you'd just push me away anyways,
Holding me at arms length like you do
A constant wall in place between us.
Nothing for me to do.

I know you're sitting there,
Alone, no matter your surroundings
Thinking you should follow him
Asking yourself why you shouldn't just leave forever
Telling yourself it's all your fault.

You'll finish the night buried beneath the anguish and someone's body
Content for just a moment
Then sink back into the abyss you drown yourself in
Day in.
Day out.

You'll get up the next morning,
Alone, no matter your surroundings
With your braveface back in place
Disguised to the world.

But I'll know where you've been in your absence

**Because you tracked death on the carpet when you walked in.

Make your move.
Go ahead.

Forget about me,
Not that you don't already
Every time you walk out that door.

Bury your guilt,
Your pain, your hate, your love
Go ahead and bury it
In any girl who will take you to bed with her.

Forget about me,
About you
About us.
Take your onemancircus to the next destination.
Don't get help.
Don't fight those demons.
Let your fear and self-hatred rule you.

I guarantee they'll get you far.
But they might also **** you,
In one way or another.

Living on the precipice,
Dancing with the shark in your head
Induces the biggest rush, sure.
But when you trade emptiness for loneliness,
Friendship for lust,
Health for adrenaline,

You'll end up hanging from that precipice,
By your fingertips.
How long can you hold on?

She said, "Usually in my experience, Jon isn't ******* fine."

All that's left here are things you've forgotten.
Including me.