Do not tell me there is an alternative universe where you and I are together
When this is the one I want to love you in

Do not give me all the reasons we shouldn’t be together and marvel at the slightest possibility that I could be yours.

Do not assume I would not want to be with you and give me another reason to stay and work it out with you

Do not make me feel like I could be a little more lovable, like if in another universe something about me was slightly different.

Sleeping seems to be the only state I can let go of everything.
Where I can close my eyes and become a new, better version of myself.
Why is it when I am awake and conscious I do not know how to be?
It’s like I have no recollection of what it is to be me.

It is when you plant a kiss on my skin that leaves it burning.
It is how beautifully your tongue coats its lies.
It is holding my breath when you walk in the room.

It is you,
You are poison wrapped in cotton candy.

I better stay away before I get a cavity.

But as if missing you is not enough,
I often find my fingers tracing the bullet wound.

As if missing you had not hurt me enough.
It is the same wings you broke that want to fly into the arms that abandoned us.

I watched you leave, and I watched everything I had ever known go with you.
It is you, you are my everything.

As if missing you is not torture enough,
I yearn for your touch on my skin,
your lips on back,
hands on my waist,
and your mind wrapping itself around me like a  burning fire.

I want you to consume me.

And it all seems so real and everything seems right again,
like the universe has aligned
but like a nightmare I wake in a fright and sweat from the dream that is you.

and it is because of this that I will not give you the satisfaction of letting you know just how much my body aches because you are not beside it.

How much more lonely these walls we once called home feel.

I will not let you know how much I yearn for your presence because
you had made it so crystal clear that you don’t need mine.

The foundation for my conception of love,
Because yours is unconditional.
The rock on which I stand,

I am learning to build my life upon your love,
it is the only consistent thing I have.
A ear that always listens, even though my cries are silent and at times deafening.

You show me my worth, my true value and there is no currency that can match to me.

You show me i am one of a kind,
you took your time to shape me,
every flaw,
every inch of me perfectly designed,
crafted by the purest.

It is so hard to let go but you show me every time that you have got every single part of me.

Letting go is so hard but your love prevails over and over again.
Telling me that everything is going to be just fine.

When that’s all I wanted for you,
for you to not feel like you’re carrying it on your own.
You never said anything regarding your feelings for me, if there were ever any.

and I guess that’s what broke me.

That I wasn’t even worth a simple “I’m just not that into you”, that I wasn’t worth your honesty and a simple process of emotion concerning me and our relationship.

I get that you were in it for something else and I knew that going in but I just thought that there was actually some tiny part of you that cared for me or at least in vain liked something about me.

Silly of me to think your heart ever compared to mine.