I learn today that I have changed,
for better or worse i'll never know
People come and people go,
I am going through something I was once afraid to show,

Chapters are my story line...
adding up to reveal different personality crimes
it's how the system grows and grows,
 I'm a thriving kid of wild ambitions and colour of indigo,

counting up as my age ascends like killer queen,
I'm young, naïve and cleverly keen  

Has God answered my prayers?
I guess that's a question i'll never stop asking,
I need to take a bath and start relaxing
days and nights, runs and walks,
praying and praying when will he talk ?
you come out better than your demons warned you not
listen to Kesha and pray,
its your only way of fighting your enemy

Survival of the fittest
Rich against the poor

I’m not afraid of God
I’m afraid of man

Control
Was I in control ?
Was I in control when the food i digested got  thrown back up into my toilet bowl while the door was locked, shower turned on & my scarred knuckles down my throat?
Control
Am I in control?
My emotions are obsessed with my weight
Why won’t they leave me alone ?  
My mind races at one hundred miles a second
Am I fat?
Am I fat?
Am I fat?
Imagining a slim life
No problems

Like a cigarette, ignited and raised to your scornful lips
you made me your addiction
and i let you consume me

Sleeping was my escape
Until the demons came and
stole my peace
they fed me lies
and lured me to the knives
Until I broke down again
and relapsed a cycle round my head
I am north
They are south
They attract

My worst nightmare.


**** I’m going insane