i'll give my 2 cents on the riots later,
when people are willing to listen
right now it's about yelling into the abyss
and painting everything black

I scream for you
LOVE IS REAL

I run my fingers against your ivory thighs. I sigh. I whistle a tune and make breakfast, the crows howl why.

2 after 10, the den is made but no body barks.  What goes on.  I slide away,  I ask how.
I touch your lips and saddle your chest.  I pick up your hair and make a noose of my self. I wither in the light as your beauty prances. I can't believe it.  I speak
"God is willing"
God is real so long as the universe is a perfect mistake.  I touch your brow, I kiss your tears, I make love. Lay another bridge, the water is running.  So what if the rivers run dry when the rain lets me love. I drink from crystal coves. The dirt settles over me and I count to tomorrow. What then

blood stained and cold, your hand was laid out grasping at imaginary roses.
the room was wet, and there was chilly air, and the footprints were plain as day.
tv blared in the other room, a man talking over a studio audience.
it was a very ordinary day
,
clouds and a shrubs in the back, with a barking dog and chimney smoke, and a laughing neighbor and a kid with a backpack. A red car a white door, and muddy sneakers. too ordinary for something like this. Why is it always so ordinary. why is it like a dream

the outside
world
burns as i sip my juice

and crack my knuckles in the

silent air.

i'm not selling
nothing,

not 'speaking' to anyone,

nor walking in other people's shoes,


just doing what i do
because i like to suffer,

and the 'hustle' is for people who want to get somewhere,
to be
wanted to
be adored,

to be fed
grapes in bed
while being stroked
by hairless men.

i'm happy
right here,
and
y
ou can find me over there,



WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY


over there


where not even a mouse skitters

Capitalized
Everything gets capitalized
Even the things
Which don't matter

Life

my money

my watch
my house
my car

my phone

my wallet
my toothbrush my couch my lemons my green grass
my plastic
tub

my plastic hair
my plastic teeth

my blue pool

my black
eyes

my red heart
my green soul

my exoskeleton . my ectomorphic mass.
my balloon filled gut

my bleeding
tongue

my brown shoes . my yellow banana. my $1,000 child slave my
$10,000 hitman

my $1,000,000 white Bengal tiger

my $0.02

conscience

my $0.02 pack of gum

Love that is dead is like used carpentry, zebra walls tell me their story, for the bird in who's town? July. I'm so ******* broken.
Losing feels like gaining. Gaining more courage for the inevitable. I've crossed out September and put up walls. I can't listen to myself anymore.  Abundance is waste now  , I have everything I don't need and want.  I forget the point? It's still fine now, or I stay together for the pain

Gerb in a gush goop lop lop
Sklop in a shock a mun julk

***** dewie
Lovx an huny ackvol

O say now
Pewb pewb
**** it good and hard
Uylm see
Stand in filligree lop
loshK
Two note steeve , none for me

There was no toilet paper but there was sandpaper on discount and the newspaper was free
The hobo had on a mask while his hand outstretched for coins, I gave him a $5.
I liked his beard, and as I exited
I saw cars lining the street. They were going to big bear. The first pancake house was now open.
And It couldn't wait

Born alone, die alone
You complimented my life but you didn't complete me; I'll always be unwhole.
You fulfilled my desire and longing but I didn't need you, like how I don't need a fix.
You were the light in the darkness but my eyes can adjust to the black.
You were support to my legs when they were shattered but I'll learn to crawl.
I'll learn to adjust but only because I have to,
not because I ever wanted to

I talked to her for an hour on the phone and she called me babe and the night prior I was pounding her as she cried out and begged for more; I then pumped into her and watched a movie after whilst cuddling.
Now she deleted me.
This is why I say "they don't t belong to me it was just my turn"
I then get back on my app & match with a Latina named "Rain"

Lonely
while cuddling a sweet and loving girl.
She sleeps right now beside me holding my hand
I don't know if I romanticize the previous relationship
or if I was always this fundamentally broken
I think I've just faked my way into all these situations
Because I barely feel human
I'm
Only here and they're
there

Met up with my ex, and I left feeling more alone and isolated. No one person is the answer to your problems nor will they ever complete you.
I'm glad I broke the illusion

Had Ramen at 2 in the morning and overdosed on iron
No joke went to the hospital and was flushed out.  Prescribed stool softener and antacids,
Sat in the gown and watched the light with a ***** in my arm. Irradiated light blasted my belly, an xray of a hoof. I drank a throat number and spat out pellets then was pushed around in a chair by a fine Latina. Then pushed in the cold. I still wear my bracelet and walked to the car. An emergency was the run over drunk on the road with its brain pushed in. I blasted Sigur ros and Celtic frost . Then the sun rose like a rose.

You disgusting pig. You conniving ***** with your 28 beta orbiters. You fake, image driven, grateful dead listening octopus sleeve having imbecile. Go walk barefoot in San Francisco you free spirit. Get a staph infection and hepatitis. Sell your saggy *** for crack. Go find some gutter rat named Skittles and shoot up in a panda Express bathroom. You ******* *******, stanky ****. And take care of your kid. He's emaciated and you spend your child support on shoes. *******. *** *** *** *** *** *** ***; you ******* and you see the truth. And I never felt more alone when I was with you. Being alone is never lonely when I'm away from the

NOISE

Noise without reason. Stupid noise. Noise like saying I love you in a text message. worthless

Noone cares about a man's suffering. His death is just another excuse for you to parade your victimhood, to show how you've been hurt.
Whatever. I can sit and stare at a wall for hours and think about a few memories that dont cause me bitterness, like watering a plant or washing my hands or drinking juice.
I just dont know why im so caught up with this one person, maybe because they're living the life i want without having done anything particularly complicated. And was I that defective?
Was this self hate instilled at birth? Who taught me to hate myself, was it the world or just me.
I don't know so I don't ask I just wish there were more happy moments. You can't force happiness like ****,you can't squeeze it into submission. I can only try, and do the handful of things I feel are right and live without regret and resentment, but don't tell me I didn't suffer, and
Don't say you cared because I ******* saw you laughing when I was at my lowest and I just wish you could feel it for a day because you would have an 'attitude' too you ******* *****. Go spread yourself some more and call it "making love".

I need to sleep but this light is blinding me and art keeps talking. I will be better tomorrow. I'll try to be better so I can be god and I will be god because none of you exist

Sickened by the scent

awake with regret and
painful realization

the earth is crumbling
Hope is dead
the fun is over
I have a jug of wine
And a ticket
The earth is still ending
Can't you see

Can't you see the screaming trees?
It's too easy
I'm not saving anyone
they deserve to burn

Everything is slow and my thumb can only tap so fast
And everything gets capitalized, and this **** is bright and I'm blind
And j have a cramp in my leg and the female hisses as she squirts venom in Mason jars
So it is
Another phone poem, another wasted minute
Mars looks good tonight

Changes in season
Like a bleeding
Clown

Flipped in a magazine circling the afro haircut radio specimen of latitude

Hairy ****, at 2mm shaving device.
I arrest her like a poolboy bowling pin

Sorry for hurting you physically
I don't know what I'm doing
I'm still a dumb kid even though I'm 25,
Not to absolve me of Blame but I'm dumb

I'm really dumb 8(5) = 40
Took me 3 seconds.  Pain is so so so so so so so so so so so sensual that's why it hurts

Hyperbole though I manage and the left ear firmly bandaged, I
Squint towards the sun as he speaks now
"  abyss follows",
My hands tied tight what did the fainting man see, something behind the tide. I wish you paid more mind , I wish you showed up on time, what did it take to be so famished
   PIECES.

I see you now like doves disintegrating. I see the exit painted red as you decay among the chalk. I kiss the cherried hand and bloodied nose.
What was wrapped up bled along with the sheets and burned in the crucifix. What statyed strong ran amok. What buried lies amassed truth in this realm, so the carcass wouldn't spit. I fed it a numb plum.  Please don't despair. Hiatus only meant a long break,  and how long it truly is  especially today when the larvae cry for you

So tired as to be delirious; the duck quacks in the barnyard and the mouse suckles on cow
droplets, hale stacked up like so,  and the little girl dances in the shadow light.
"I'll be dead soon"
  so will I 
 I've made plans and I'm never late

my brain was broken for a few days
so i've forgoed any & all substances,
not even *******
which is its own drug

I need clarity;
I was looking at a wall
and perceived it as a dullish mush and
  noticed a dab of spittle hanging from my lower lip

    I could speak to a parakeet
and ask it for advice,
it said
" shut up ***** boy and give me a *******''
not really,
it didn't say that, but it did mimic the sound of ******/

when I poured my toast
I buttered my juice
and I took a cab to your house and slept with you and wrote this poem
as we cuddled
because I needed some warmth. please don't leave me,
I need some
warm cuddles
    
:0

why do they all leave ?///

The ciggarette cartons will be full,
and the homemade pruno will be worth a corvette. Oil is useless now,
and electricity is a dream.
stock up on beans, and make friends with the fellow coalman. enough shells for a nuclear war in the desert night like
right now

Yes
  historical
points of labor
who organizing in dens.  the 80s. Prior, themselves
(plumbers organizing with plumber etc)

**** pop off
workers doing things, industrial lines. basically, the factory all together union.
Cutters
the station didn't matter. Everyone the same.  spreading widely, and became the COW.  quite the political force,  won a lot a
protections IN sync with a stout.
Call me yobber and the street clear.
Stamina

I thought Id have 13 kids and live in a castle
With a fat *****
On my lap

I thought Id have a gold suit in Napa
I thought Id have a car
And food

I thought I'd be a democrst and vote for the candidate that resembles my nephew

I thought Id ride a bike
I thought I'd **** myself and eat a moose
I thought Id touch my ***** and get a paper wet

I thought Id think I thought
I thought I'd be asleep by now
I thought Id do something productive
I thought Id be a human
I thought Id be a ghost like them
I thought Id be a contender
I thought I'd be forgiven

when you bury me,
just play motion picture soundtrack.

I want to sleep in the dirt,
I want to smell daffodils. I want to stare at the blue sky. I want to burn in the heat. I want to play with my toy. I want to
be here.
I want to be the now.
play
saturns children
by electric wizard.

play
sunday morning by velvet underground. give me love, so I can pretend that it mattered.

you are so

precious/..//.././/././././././..//..//.././\\


precious

Stuck inside drowning and not even a crowd to watch my demise.
If I'm going to go out I at least want others to see. Im tired of being stifled. I'm tired of being one of billions. I'm missing my tribe. My kin. Who has my back anymore? Anyone other than a meaningless acquabtence?
I'm stuck in the tomb and I'm losing my humanity. My emotions are being filed down. At least hate used to sustain me but I have even lost that. Stop ******* sqaushing me down and sqaushing me in a ******* box. WHO THE **** ARE YOU TO DICTATE MY LIFE? Who shackled me and tied me down? I will fight back I will not take anymore. I will not accept this fate. You killed my kin and robbed me of my ancestral spirit and now I am just a wild animal. I am no longer human. I am a force of nature

Stop liking my throw away poems, you might as well just tell me you don't care what I say
Now this is a poem

Flapjacks and cream
Flapjacks and cream
The lonely mouse skitters into an old boot

I just want to live inside poetry or in the night of a Van Gogh painting.
Everytime I step out into the world and am greeted by a sad cashier's face or a **** lining the cement or a guy throwing a slurpee into a schoolyard or politician talking at a camera or a lady digging for coins or a bomb exploding in a plaza it makes me realize what I hate about the world,
It's the world

Real life

Wore mask
Bought sprite

"Wheres the SPRITE ****"

"OVER THERR"

" THANK"

"I KNO"
Plop
A five

Drink a sprite
****

******* and **** my weasil

She sleeps in hay
The world is dead

and theresa cries in her soft hands

I think it's good
a motivation
1000 days of life
changed. It's still rainbows
deal with it. God blessed

tubes
has been what works best
reminding of myself reminds my brain leading to a relapse several times eventually with good habits
consciously thinking and
Truly integrated

your life.
Planted rose, carcass and soon
0

I remember Rust
Putting his **** up my **** with the thorns
I said no
But his moldy breath evaporated in my headache and the hot **** was good then, like chock late milk.
But I wanted another straw so I opened my curtains and went fishing and saw you there.. You were performing surgery on a baby and put a donut in its belly, but
I still went to the sock hop the next day with you, cause I love you
Maybe

Push pin



Soda & fleas tongue

sweet



Normalized by 5





with a chip in place

Unlock it now



Ruiners WASP. And guns pointing

cavity

unlike gestation

Wound up : impulse bit blown . leak away red res red red red

          redvred red

Let the professionals have their $500 vintage typewriters and Mac book pros in sunlit nooks with chirping birds and glacial water coffee and decadent street humming.

Poetry should be written with red eyes at 3:22am in a stuffy room on a cracked smart phone.
There are no rules actually, but it's how
I manage

dancing on the freeway
while flipping off the drivers and ******* into someone's yard
whilst eating a
lettuce
wrap.


they swerve around me
and honk
and weave in and out of lanes

and scream

and cry

and throw rotten fruit onto me.


fires erupt in the distance

and several
buildings collapse
into thin dust.


ruins are uncovered
showing the slow ascent of man.

discoveries are made,

then the shots are fired

and hit me in the gut
and temple.

it flings off of my chin
and onto the cement
clicking my toe.


bloods spills out
and i crap myself from the excitement.


the excrement collects into a neat pile.


then the helicopter
fro ma distance shouts at me,
telling me to

''GET ON THE GROUND

AND
TUCK IN YOUR GENITALS''

i comply
.


and the news crew
rolls up and interviews me,

and i spit on the womans face

and she ****
and rrubs her *****
behind a bush in the distance.


and i'm handcuffed
and throw into
a van,


and slowly
ripped apart
by
aligators

as they throw me into a laggoon

and spell
my name wrong
on the urn


and drop me into a boiling vat of lubricant for the elederly.


and then my eyes
close


and death
is slow release


and none of my relevatives
are sitting at the gate

,,


just a few

birds

that form a beautiful V
in the rising dawn sky

I can't fight it anymore , send all your messages;
I'll like and comment and repost, I'll pose in front of a cucumber with the lilting light as it kisses my cheek in front of a bank,
I'll suntan on an Indian gutter as flows of sewage
dance across my back;  
I'll stare at sunsets as they explode in grey nights. I'll cry to myself as your fingers pulse in ***** cement ;
I'll stand naked as you call me a
**** up . I'll keep my phone on silent and reply to a select few - and plug in the modem as it dies down and turns blue. freedom without fear -  the sliding carcass makes it way somewhere in the east -- love grows
in surprising places, mostly piles of ash

plasma

  on the wall



a           few tears for the ones who   didn't make it


.


i can't hate.

i can't hate   anymore.


I hurt myself


i cursed my self,

i sabotaged    my own  life--

and threw away my opportunity.

i kicked out people
who cared-
and   insisted on  fighting for me.


But  I thought I knew better.

now i'm paying for it --   and the dull ache     in my head  haunts          me  ,

and the dim
shadow


  entices   me

0900099

speeding towards the window
    firecrackers in delighted limbo

I had no mail
but the trash you sent me
You want me gone
So do i

I love my cat
because she hates me.

she brings home half-mutilated mice
and crickets
and throws them on my bed.

I yell at her then I pet her.

I spent a whole $100 on her which is a lot of money;

if she leaves tomorrow, I understand.

please just don't go with the black cat

I'm a stranger, unknown, unaccounted for.
My face is blurry and lingers on a bulletin board in a dull
Cafeteria
I am hurt and forgotten
I'm the one you don't even bother to ignore

I pick up my heart and plead to the voices
I have a semblance of a soul but it is mostly revoked,; the calls for death smother my mind with an acute numbness

I will walk along the glass to face them
And I will be recognized even if it means that I become nothing

glory glory
glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory glory gloria gloria gloria Gloria gloria gloria gloria gloria gloria gloria gloria glora gorilla gorrila gorrilaa gorilla geurilla geurilla guerilla geurilla geruilla warfare crouching behind a bush in the alaskan heat as the predator
makes it **** -- an albatross swoops by for the   scraps a little while later .
  still and on  stilts, Hi- C and tasty,  show biz

I think if this beautiful girl I knew who used to be my first crush. She would give me back massages in class and had beautiful purple eyes. Then one day I asked her out. She said "no" and it hurt me.

Anyway she's been dead for the last 6 months just checked Facebook. I had deleted my Facebook so I didn't know.
****** overdose. 23. Gone.
And what will it all mean.

What will I mean.

I will cut my neck open
And draw on the walls.

I don't care if summer comes.


I dream about flies and maggots.

I *******
Feed The wide     Hole



I dance   on the street
Screaming

Screaming for more

I'll just go away, you don't really know me
you fell in love with the idea of me
an idealized version of who I am,
I don't want to let you down.
it's time to go home now, time to open your eyes and see
the potential in front of you;
limitless

at the point of giving no *****
Im a lost cause
I need community
and belonging

Im severed from my tribe
a talking head with a lizard brain
hopscotching over coals

The hardest part is going on when you've already made your grave

Are there still beautiful things

Hp Lovecraft cat had a funny name.
I still need to read his volumes.
They sit on a shelf in the kitchen.
I write bad poetry.
I was awake all night
My eyes burn  like heat. My retinas are withered.
To sleep I go.  To bed i Make my home.  I curl up with my oversized pillow, made of foam. The lizards need their adrenochrome

she lives behind the wall she eats the flies

but she talks to me like a *******
man bro.
she'll get what she wants.
she wants to bury me, and I'll
let
her

It was a corpse there
nothing  quite noteworthy but the bubbling amused me
And the whistles from the station made the effort far more laborious than anticipated
But to straddle a shepered the winking pheasant press play at your dorsus scapula,
When is the play. Take the brown,.  It's shy in lime

What are you doing at this point ?  just standing over my body and poking me with a stick out of amusement?
you're very cruel and not as innocence as you claim, just cold and calculating, you'll be
a real heartbreaker one day, with bodies buried in a Mexican desert and it won't phase you.

sick

They even
Pick their own disorders on the premise that they'll look good.
Starving

I wish being a fat drunk paid off, but I'm no longer fat at least and I gave up drinking 2 years ago.
I still crave obliteration
and it shall crumble all cathedrals before me

Love is silly really