Video games made me crazy
Or did I play video games
The way a mad man would

Fighting tears and clouded thoughts
I began to question if this was all
That there is in the world,
Small, hopeless moments of love,
Only to return
To our cold dark world that is reality.

I was returning
Home
Yesterday
Along the walkway
Through the paddy field
All set for reaping.

As usual
It was dusk
You know
I don’t go
To the paddy field
Except in the evenings

An evening
Of a day
Suffused with
Sighs, monotony
And unpleasant jobs.

In the middle of
The daily
Skyward incantations
“Whom do I have
To claim as my own”
Got bored
Thinking about
The number of times
I have been doing the same.

You know
That boredom
Makes me miserable

Facing
That ripened paddy field
I lighted yet another cigarette

For a moment
Had plans
To set
The crowless
Heaps of hay
On fire

Imagined
A cigarette
Resembling a bundle of hay

Suddenly
You walk
In front of me

Trance like
Unaware of paddy stalks
Chatting to you
Or the two homebound mynahs
Passing comments at you

A leaf of the coconut tree
Sang a song
About you

You weren’t listening
Or seeing anything

You were the swiftness
Of a deer
Leaping
From one life to another

You were walking
The world expelled
Out of you.

Amidst the tenth puff
In the interval of a sigh
I saw you approaching me
You didn’t talk to me
Or show signs of seeing me
You are about to pass me now
And quite unlike you
You had your hair, ******* and face draped
By a shawl
No, that shawl
Was not violet in color

I hadn’t seen
Such a
Forlorn
And distressed walk
In any of my
Past lives

I realized that
You were crying
While walking
I saw
The seeds of your tears
Fall and germinate
In the walkway of the field
I feared
It would grow
Into a forest

You are leaving
Without a backward glance

My melancholy
Where did you go
Yesterday
Leaving me
All alone?



translator  : Shyma P

You don't think I'm the greatest
Of now
Or ever
Than *******
And my arrogance will lead me to fortune
And I'll marry a *****
Who noone could really love

But I'll count myself as successful

(**** you kanye west
Even if you ****
In your own mind you are happy
And that's what hurts me the most)

If someone's going to walk alone on a dark bridge suspended above the ocean bathed in strange blue light, let it be me.

Let it be me who let's the chill creep into my veins and brush past my cheeks.

If it has to be a sad song, let me sing it.

If we all get painted with watercolors, let it simply be.

I will draw you on my life with the rest of them, but I will always pause at you.

I will forever pause at you for a moment longer than every other statue in the museum of who I once was.

I watched you breathe your last,
And, oh, how it was marvelous.
You opened the door,
Greeted death with a kiss to the cheek,
And gracefully stepped into eternity.
I had never seen such dignity.
I am certain they assigned you
The angel at the gate,
With a beauty too grand
Even for the heavens.
I am sure you are adored.
I only wish I had gone with.
If it is something lovely,
Send me an invitation.