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  Feb 2016 effaced
Lunar Vacancy
Get** them away from me!
I don't like this game anymore!
You all look like white rabbits!
Your clean pale colored coats!
You can't mask the feeling with those pills!
Let go of me!
I hate you!
Take this IV off of me!
I hate all of you!
This is my heartbeat i will do with it what i please!
I'm smiling! I'm grinning! It makes my face ache!
Leave me alone so I can stare at the ceiling again!
The drugs! What have you done? I can't scream.
I can see your worried hands, leave me be.
I can see your eyes, frantic and apologetic.
I feel like i'm floating. All the drugs...
His eyes are almost skeletal with the circles so dark and tired.
You've been here all this time? Even if I die again?
Unless I am told otherwise.
Nothing is what it looks like. Not everything is just as it is. THINK.
effaced Feb 2016
ive made my choice
and now i have to follow through.

i told you i wouldnt bother you
and soon enough i wont be bothering anyone anymore.
effaced Feb 2016
decided to use an computer generated date system, to pick the day of my demise.

what were the odds of in the first set of 5 dates, one was my mothers birthday, only 5 days before my own?

what were the odds that 2 of the 5 dates were alone in my birth month?

what were the odds that 2 of the dates were EXACTLY a month apart.

what were the odds that all the dates would have my favorite numbers?

what were the odds that the second group of numbers was my birthday, or even almost a month before so?

what were the odds of all of those numbers looking right on a tombstone?
6/9/16
11/25/16
4/5/17
5/5/17
11/15/17
6/20/16
12/21/16
8/7/17
10/25/17
11/30/17
effaced Feb 2016
i just want to die.
effaced Nov 2015
i made the decision yesterday
i made the decision to be the person i want to be
to be the person my grandparents think me to be.
i made the decision yesterday
i made the decision to keep my skin clear
to invest myself into those around me.
i made the decision yesterday
i made the decision to live again
to live and not just be alive.
  Nov 2015 effaced
Luna Moon
How did drugs override your love to breathe?
Narcotics have been cut loose in your brain,
it's in your blood, running through your veins.
Smoke is hard to see through, it's hard to breathe in.
Chemicals weaken your already weakening heart.

I never dreamt of *******'s love,
Speed never made my heart skip a beat,
Ecstasy did not **** me.
Blood, bones and skin,
It was a person.

I remember the first time it looked into my eyes:
Serotonin buzzed in my brain,
my heart pumped as electricity,
my throat was cotton,
I bit my lip.
It was a person.
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