You sat there, wrapped in a tumble of blankets
Blankly staring out of the window
You told me you had depression
That you had had it before I was even born
That it runs in our family
I was chocked
chocked on all the horrible things I had said to you
How terribly I treated you
You told me your medication hadnt been working, that you had gone off your depressants because you had felt well enough, although you seemed to have crashed
Doctors had put you back on your depressants
You told me that you would be back to "normal" in three weeks time
but three weeks later my father stayed behind a closed bedroom door with you, your sister rushed into our house.
I knew it was something to do with you
"Her medication isnt working" thats all my father told me
That night I didnt see you or my dad all night long
2:00 am
My dad walked through the front door,
Tired eyes gazing over at me
My mother had been admitted to the psychiatric unit in the hospital
She was there to get her medication adjusted
It was just a short amount of time she was to be in there.
Every evening we would make a trip to the hospital
I started to wonder how the "normal" would ever return
I dont think "normal" could be achieved ever again
one week
You were discharged,
All you did was sleep it seemed
Where was my mother
two more days
You relapsed
My dad told me that you had a plan to end it all, that you were no good for the family.
I remember how much you told me you loved me
I didnt see you or dad that night
You were to be in the hospital longer than the "first time"
Visiting every night
You were surrounded by other patients with all sorts of mental illnesses
You reassured me that it would all be
Normal
again.
That next week you came home.
Nothing is normal
Normal is abnormal now.