He kissed me, I was fine with it
He touched me, I allowed him to

He also kissed me, I was fine with it
He also touched me, I allowed him to

But they were'nt

*You

I am so ready to dance
Finally regain control of my mind
Demons scream in anger
I am fighting you

You will no longer control me
No longer corrupt my mind
With your sickening worthless words
You will degrade to ash
I am going to crush your addiction for my pain
Crush your addiction to see scarlett trail down my arm
I will burn you and your voices
Burn you with my hatred for your toxic voice
You will not crawl through my veins
You will not spread your poison

You will no longer rip me apart
One ******* piece at a time

Flowers will flourish in your remains
Sunshine will melt into my heart
Into my mind
I will dance like never before
I will not dance on fragile ice anymore
I will dance on solid ground

You can not stop me.

Why did I let you force your demons apon me?
those demons crawl through out me like a deadly cancer

Taking over my veins
a dark cloak of self hate
attacking my mind,
my heart

You turned me into a demon
Left to fade into the dark.

The stars hit my lungs
A slight frost dancing along the curve
Of my parted crimson lips
I breath in crisp winter air
In and out
As the fresh night air soaks into my winter bones
I am one with the air around me

Wind howling as though it was a wild wolf
Catching my long brown hair
Whipping against my pale cheeks
As I stare at the beauty of the
Exhausted mountains
Fast asleep under the clouds
I am one with the beauty of the landscape

I hold my arms out to the sky
Diamonds dot the charcoal sky
Winking down at their children
We are fragments of stars
I am a fragment of a star
The moon is my kin
I am one of Mother Natures jewels
I am one with the universe

*Deep breath

We couldn't find you

I shouldn't be the one to have to tell you this
There was no need for anyone to finish that sentence
I knew what had happened

They found you in the car
With our family's dog
The garage door sealed shut
Car still running
Spewing toxic fumes

A huge anvil came down and knocked my feet out from under me

My sister and I collapsed onto the floor
It felt like someone was tearing me apart
One piece at a time
Like someone had punched a hole through my chest
Ripping out my heart to burn and crush into the ground

Our worlds seemed to collapse around us, I had to hold my legs so tightly to my chest to prevent myself from falling apart right there on the floor

I didn't have a mother anymore
She is not going to see me graduate
She is not going to help me pick out my grad dress
She is not going to meet my first true love
She is not going to be there when I have my first drink in a bar
She is not going to be there when I show her my engagement ring
She is not going to be there when my father walks me down the isle
She is not going to be there when I announce that I'm pregnant
She is not going to be there when my first child is born
She is not going to be there to be the most loving grandmother
She's gone

I fill my heart with love
Drink it like hard liquor
Burning
As it streams down my throat
A warm wave crushes apon me
I dance around the room
Drunk on the thought of you
Bringing my hand to my pale winter cheek
Caressing my scarlett lips
Kiss me?
I twirl
Skirt billowing around me
The music streaming through my bones
Dizzy

My lips part in a small smile
You melted me
I dance in glacial water
Flower lungs inhale the lust
For you

Standing still on top of the frozen curve of the cliff
Listening to the sharp crack of the ice below me
Ghosts of steam skating on the opaque ice
Sunshine melting onto my flush cold cheeks
The winters fridged breath sinking into my winter bones
Mountains dusted with fresh snow
My pulse beating as though its a drum
Swirling winds within my lungs as I breath
-------------
Deep breaths
*Deep breaths

People always say
just forget and move on
how do you forget love?
can people not see that
love can not be forgotten?
All my memories of you
linger like a morning fog
in my summer mind

The way your hand trailed
along my bare fragile ribs
your smile as you
were about to kiss my
flushed rose lips
my head resting on your chest
the music of your tired lungs
your singing heart

Why do we act like strangers
after all the memories we have?
I cant burn memories like
I can burn pictures
I can not forget love
I can only forget why
why I made the effort to
love
in the first place

I stood in the cold snow
Arms crossed
Over my broken winter ribs
Fingernails digging into my pale arms

The cold mountain air
Absorbs into my frail bones
Raspberry lips parted
Amazed by the beauty

Green eyes gazing at the sleeping mountains
Tree roots spread across the ground
As to keep the Earth from collapsing
From cold winter tremors

The hazy moons glow
Constellations of stars
Dance as if at a royal ball
Clouds swirling like cigarette smoke

I want to feel your lips press against mine, I want to feel the way orchids bloom along my neck trailing like a soft breeze down to my collarbones.
Make me moan

I want to feel your hand press into the small of my back
Your fingers to grasp my sides
Desperate for one another
Pushing me against the wall, cold to the touch but you have ignited me
I want to feel your touch on my hips

Think about it this way
You're complaining of not having a valentines today

Some children dont have a mother on Mothers day
No one to teach their child to bake
No one to braid the 6 year old girls hair
No one to give dandilion bouquets to.

A child who doesnt have a father to love on Fathers day
No one to teach them how to play baseball
To ride a bike,
No one to teach him or her to pitch a tent

A child sits in a foster home on Christmas or even on Thanksgiving
His or her only wish is to have a loving family
Have a chance to believe in magic
Have a home
A big feast displayed out infront of them.

Or maybe someone sits crying on Remeberance day,
because they lost their husband, dad, mom or big brother
You cant get back someone who is gone
A child may not have even met a past family member.

Look at it realistically.

I over looked your flaws
Your inability to love anybody but yourself
Your inability to feel empathetic
The fact you were so insecure
All your problems
How you seemed to destroy
Everything you could wrap your poison claws around

I was once a beautiful carnation
I opened up to you but you just tore everything apart
Piece by piece you pulled me apart
Scattering my pettles along the cold ground
Grinding my love into the dirt
You left me emotionally detached
You turned me into you
As ****** up
That is not something you do when you love someone

You are upset that I left you
Because you left me
Thats not fair
I left you
All you are to me
Is a years worth of scars
For I would rather have felt physical pain
Then the throbbing thoughts of you
Transforming me into a demon myself
A mental photograph of terrible images
Images of you over me
Pinning me on the bed
Images I cannot burn no matter how hard I try
A hole in my dry orchard heart
Which is slowly healing

You are just upset
Because you can no longer control me

The way it looks like the clouds are Reaching down to Earth
I love the way the rain makes my dress Cling to my chest
When it lands on the curve of my lip

I run into the howling wind
Howling against the wind and rain
Lungs louder than a wolf

Wind tugging on my long blonde hair
Rain mixing with my laughter
I throw my head back to smile at sky
Liquid cloud trailing down my neck
Watering the blooming trees in my skin

I feel so alive and fresh

My mind is corrupt
the flowers that used to bloom
dancing in the rain of happiness

Are wilted now
fragile to the touch
awaiting my sunshine

I wait
and I wait
my petals drifting slowly to the ground

Degrading to dust

Getting to hold the one whom you admires hand
For the first time
Is such a lovely feeling
The warmth of their hand pulses like wildflowers
Against your palm
Your fingers entangle like roots of a tree
You are connected
Its so beautiful
And so simple

I miss it.

Standing in the warm water
Streaming down from my eyelashes to my crimson lips
Pooling apon them
I raise my hand to trace the curve of them
Kiss me
From my glass ribs to my summer hips
Sunshine warmth sinks in
Sending me shivers as I imagine you trailing your hand along
My arms cradle my broken body
My head hits the clouds
I can not stop thinking about you
I can not stop thinking about how I want you
How I need you
How I love you
But you dont want me

Sometimes
I wish shower water would wash away the thought of you