I Don't Lack Confidence And I Don't Feel Like I Am Better Then Anybody Who Does But How Are You Suppose To Seek Opportunity If You're Against Your Own Potential Like Are You Really Going To Make That Decision To Go (Your Whole Life) Worried About What Everybody Else Thinks? What ***** Me Up Is Its Literally People Who Have Already Made That Choice Which 1 Is Not My Problem But 2 Their Going Through The Worst Form Of Suffering In Their Life Right Now. So When I'm Over Here Expressing Myself By Writing Statuses About Positive Sensitive Subjects Or Just Being Open And People Judge Me I Really Don't Feel Bad For Myself I Actually Feel Bad For Them Cause While Their Goal Is To Make Me Look Bad For A Couple Minutes Or How Ever Long. My Goal Is To Become A Better And Healthier Me Because I'm Not Going To Look Bad For The Rest Of My Life. I'm Just Not Gone Do It, This Is Why I Say Life Becomes Complicated When It Really Shouldn't Be If You Just Find A Way To Figure Out What Your True Intentions Are You'll Be Okay! These Walls That People Build Up And Say It's To Protect Themselves To Be Honest Your Not Protecting Yourself Your Caging Yourself In And I Totally Understand That Your Just Trying To Save The Best Part Of Yourself But It's To The Extent Your Trapping Your Own Self. Like It's Serious Because You Can't Even Encourage Yourself To Fight For Whatever It Is You Want And How Are You Going To Have Your Own Back When You Can't Even See Yourself? The Simplest Example I Can Give Is Like How We Are All Scared Of Rejection And We See The Most Fearless People Randomly Reaching Success Or Becoming Lucky In Life Regardless If It's With An Attempt Made To Get A Job Or Going Up To A Stranger To See If Something Can Spark Between The Two. It's Just Your True Intentions And Your Approach Simple As That, It's Like The First Step Of A Plan You Gotta Have It In Your Mind That With Anything You Do It's Not Good To Go In With High Exceptions Especially Dealing With A Person. It Can Be A Hit Or Miss And If You Miss You Could Of Still Did Everything Right It's Just The Wrong Time Or You Could Of Got Rejected And Your Approach Could Of Been Close To Perfect But The Person Or Job You Approach Wasn't Meant For You! And If You Hit! Meaning If Score And Get The Job Or The Person Being Fearless And Just Making The Attempt Could Change Your Life Forever. So You Don't Really Win Or Lose It's Just Sometimes You Miss And Sometimes You Don't.

I Feel Like The More You Try To Figure Life Out The More Confused You Become. I Can Literally Break My Perspective Down To Where It's Either You See It As Simple Or Confusing.
For Example, When You Meet Someone That You Feel Is Better Then You Are Which Isn't True But That's Where Your Insecurities Come To Surface, What You Tell Yourself Becomes Your Reality. Instead Of Trying To Learn Or Find Out What Areas In Your Crazy *** Life Could Use Some Clean Up You Rather Waste Time Trying To Become Equal. Why? I Don't Understand, We Literally See People Who Have No Type Of Stability But Have The Best Attitudes About Surviving And Still Hold Themselves Highly. Why Don't You Examine Yourself When You Come Across That Type Of Person? When You Meet Somebody That Is Not As Good As You From Whatever Are Your Values Does That Make You Feel Good? Do You Actually Talk Yourself Up Because Someone Else Is Down! That's Confusing To Me I Can't Understand From A Low Level Of Perception, All I Can Come Up With Is That It's An Identity Constructed With A Combination Of *******! Sometimes You're Ahead And Sometimes You're Behind When Did That Become A Issue? People Struggling To Find A Grind But Them The Same People Who Remain Cool Under All Circumstances.I Respect Those People Because It's Not A Copy And Paste Mentality, That's A Pure Mind That These Comparing Hypocrites Are Trying Find.

I Admire Watching The Little Kids Use All Their Energy In What They Do. I Admire How They Stand Up For What They Believe In Even Though Its A Super Hero From A TV Show Or Santa Clause Or Whatever It Is It's Like They're Prepared To Go To War For A Character Who's Just A Mental Inspiration And Hell Yeah They Can Be A Handful But You Watch Them Live For Moments That You Know They'll Never Get Back. Sad Thing Is They Don't Know That. Honestly It's Not For Them To Know Well At Least For Right Now It's Not. Because As You Get Older You Find That Life Begins To Wear You Down. It Doesn't Matter Who You Are Or How Good You Got It, It Just Happens. Experience, Time & Certain Events Really Conspire Against You To Steal Your Happiness Away And Corrupt Your Conscience & Confidence. Some People Call It Growing Up Which It Is But You Start To Question Every Single Thing You Would Never Have Given A Second Thought To When You Were Younger. The Worse Part Is You Don't See Yourself Fading Until You Wake Up One Day And You Don't Have That Fire In You Anymore, Like You've Been Defeated But You Wasn't Even Aware You Was In A Battle. All I'm Saying Is Be There For Your Kids And Let Them Know You're In There Corner Cause They Don't Know Whats Ahead And Its Your Job When The Time Comes For Them To Really Be Out Here Making Decisions To Not Just Know But Understand That In Life You Can Not Be Blind. You Have See More Then What Your Eyes Allow You To.

Your Eyes Reveal What Your
Face Always Tries To Hide
Which Is The Pain

I'm Afraid For You
The Inhale Exhale
Routine Isn't Made
For You

You Go Days Without
A Laugh & Weeks Without
A Smile

You Even Wake Up Screaming
Without Fully Being Asleep

You're Losing Control
Your Anxiety Seems To Be Higher
Then All Consumable Drugs Put Together

What Hurts The Most, I Been There
I Been Lost Without Wanting To Be Found
I Became Addicted To Abusing Drugs
I Been Left When I Needed To Be With
Somebody At That Time Of My Life
The Most

What Do I Have To Do For You To Let
Me In? Scream It, I'm Not Sure That Would
Be Enough So What Is More Then Enough
To Balance Out Not Enough At All?

What Do I Have To Do For You To Let Me
In? Physical I'm Here! Emotionally I'm Here
If Your Eyes Can't See It I'll Pay A Visit To
The House Of God And Ask Him To Allow
Your Heart To See What Your Eyes Cant

           I'm Here

I'm Not Going To Discuss How Much
Of My Time I Invested In You

Because That Time Is Gone
Regardless Of How I Feel
At This Very Moment
I'm Never Getting That
Back

We Share That Time Together
Equally

Two Complete Opposite People
Who Tolerated Each Others
Flaws

Learning To Love Each Other
Is What I Would Call That

Time Went By

We Started Hurting Each-Other

I Realized That I Couldn't Be
Hurt Without You

You Became My Drug A Long
Time Ago

I Never Asked You To Give Me
Anything That I Haven't Already
Worked For

I'm Not Sure If You Telling Me
To Be Something I Already Am

Which Is A Man With Something
A Lot Of Men Don't Have

Potential ... My Sensitivities Is
Mine And I Have To Own It

Lets Forget About Right & Wrong
For A Second

After Every Morning
Night, Month, Year
Of A Combination Of
Happy, Sad, Hurt,
Confused, Deep,
Weird Amount
Of Time That

We Shared Equally
You Wanna Start Over?

Okay Look I Look At It From
A Wanting To Try Something New
Point Of View

How Many Times Are You Going To
Waste Your Time Getting Let Down
Hurt Just Cause You Want To Try
Something New

Venting Session This Is

You Can't Just Say You
Love Somebody Without
Being Able To Show It

It Will Never Be Real

I'm Real & After All My Time
I'm Really Still Here

So It Can't Be Me

No Matter How Many
Times You Try & Play Victim

We'll Both Know The Truth..

I've Been Drinking Poison
I'm Surprise That I Can Stand

Every Other Cup I Realize
How Trapped I Really Am

Dying Inside Dear Lord
I Need Healing From Within

No Matter How Hard I Try
How Much I Battle

The Stress Positions Me For The Pin

How Do You Reconcile
When The Trust Is Broken

How Can You Not Become
Affected When The Wound
Still Open

We All Get Hurt At Some
Point In Our Lives

I Wonder Who Is Responsible
For You Being This Cole

Cause I'm Paying The Price
When All I Did Was Love
Your Soul

I'm Stuck In Reverse
You Drove Me To Crash

The World Isn't Going
To Stop For My Grief

This Is The Mother Of Sad

If I Can Go Back To The Day
We Met

I'd Tell You To Watch Out
For Yourself

Because In The Future
I'm That Moment That
You Let Slip Away

You Should Be Ashamed
Of Yourself

I Want To Say Thank You
Not Only To You But To God

I Get It Now!

He Specifically Chose You
To Be The Perfect Lesson For
My Life

I Had A Hard Time Understanding
I Prayed To Him Every Night

That He'd Bring You Back Into
My Life

And You Came But It Was Never
For Good

Then I Realize The Reason You
Never Stayed Is Because

You Didn't Come Back
As An Angel With Wings

You Came Back As A Devil
With Horns

You Put A Line Between
My Heart So Fast

I Was Convinced You Was Some
Sort Of Super Human Like The Flash

Before You I Thought I Knew
What A Heart Break Felt Like

A Little Pain In Your Chest Here & There
Weak Knees At Times & Ache Behind Your
Eyes When Your Thinking Of That Person

People Tell You No Matter How Much They
Try And Explain Something To You'll
Only Understand When You're
Going Through It

You Don't Know Love
Until You Know Real Pain

You Don't Know Love Until
You Know That Things Will
Never Be The Exact Same
Again

Lessons Teach You To See It
Coming

Basically Allows You To Begin
Your Numbness