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Denxai Mcmillon Apr 2015
Today will be long.
Denxai Mcmillon Apr 2015
Maybe my own inadequacy is to blame
For the fact that I can't get out of bed most days
My main motivators are hunger pains and stomach aches.
Somedays I feel like I'm at the pivotal point
Where a tiny place in space becomes a black hole
With only one purpose; to devour all that passes by.
I hope this hopelessness passes like strangers on the street.
I feel like it's been too long to say that though.
Maybe once my room is clean,
I get some fresh air
And
I stop smoking, this fog around me will dissipate into its next life.  
Maybe.
  Apr 2015 Denxai Mcmillon
ATC
You are an attic that my thoughts are still lost in.
Your mind is cluttered with ideas, kindness, secrets and confessions,
all covered under thick dusty blankets of bland conversations.
Every time the sun hit a part of your mind,
you revealed a memory and I like a child
oohed and ahhed at this over told story.

Despite the floorboards creaking “baby you don’t mean a thing” and dust lingering with the goodbye that will never be said,
it was my favorite place.

I would try bringing up my own newspaper clippings and photo albums but there never was enough room in this attic I suppose.

I remember one night I spotted poetry painted on the wall
hidden behind a pile of blankets and your record player voice cracked with the words ‘you're beautiful’ and ‘you're perfect’.
But maybe the words were already painted for somebody else
and You’re voice caught on the vinyl of the moment.

Darling they told me that a family from Utah is
moving in next week,
I hope they treat you well.

Darling the door has been locked and boarded without a warning
I saw this prompt on twitter one time and really was inspired to write on it. I liked this guy so much and to be honest still do. It seems like we talked about him a lot so that was the bland conversations and over told stories part. I knew he didn't think of me the same way and I knew we were never going to talk about things that I wanted to discuss. We had kissed and cuddled a lot and he told me those words about beauty and perfection but I don't think he meant them. He was leaving for college in Utah. He seems to be doing just fine. Things are done and over with.
Draw a line
Feel the boundary
Not to trip over
Or falter
Only a line
Yet, restricting
Undulating ground
No straight lines
We may try
To draw perfect lines
Futile attempts
Only chasms
Line goes deeper
In hearts and
Annals of history
Edges out many
Marginalizing humanity
Denxai Mcmillon Apr 2015
I hate to play pretend, like I don't love you.
  Apr 2015 Denxai Mcmillon
Banda Dipuo
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I know you are mad
But i love you too
#love#mad#sorry
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