saplings
turned kindling
turned ash
all under the winter and fire
of my hands and my mouth
so fearful
of ghosts that
still draw blood
of wounds that
never healed the same
of things broken and left
broken
a self-preserving instinct

i was too in love
to be manipulated
i gave him more
than his years
knew how to hold
and the remainders
came spilling out
like floodwater
brown and thick
as eyes and november breath
it swam through his lungs
his shining, hopeful breath
a new conquest
to the absence
presence inevitably brings

July 30, 2011 at 6:25pm
There ya go  
slowly  starting to fade
in the concaves
the beam wanes
electro-magnetic waves radiate
straight through the skin
and to the veins
bleeding my own scarlet rays

Disguised as.....
an Indian eye
on my forehead
vines down
into a lava
sizzling bone tissue

Frying every fiber.........atom.......... and molecule
that piece me together

even still you scintillate
in an array of glistening grains
stirring in my bloodstream
static tension
aching flesh

I Rotated
the beam
and became
a reflector
scorching your innards
in
excruciating
ways

The problem is you assumed I was okay
I kept saying I wasn't
I couldn't do it
I need to drop them
But you insisted I was okay

Now I'm showing doing saying
Things you don't approve
Finally you're convinced I really wasn't
I couldn't do it
I needed to drop them
Because I'm still not okay

And you go crazy
With your feisty marching band
No grasp of reality, my reality
Pretending to be a friend
Treating me like a glass about to break
But I don't believe any of it
You only do the things you do
Because you don't approve of mine

And I'm done
I'm done done done

I see the fires burning all to ashes
The statues becoming rubble
Collapsing bridges
And ghost towns
All from the time I couldn't change

I saw the empty shell of what was
That remains as an empty city
Vacant houses
And closed caskets
All from the time I couldn't be

And I was lost
And hurt
And hopeless

God help me

I saw the souls of hell
Crying out in pain
Begging for relief
That never comes
All from the time I lost my faith

And I have nothing to say
Nothing to do
Nothing at all

God help me

For many a year
I  read the words of man
Thought provoking they surely are

They create various thoughts and  question the things you are taught
But in the end they are purely naught

Because within the hour somethings are forgotten and opinions will always differ
The subject matter is usually ideas and emotions that captivate the mind

Now on the Word of God
It's life Changing Matters and words that pierce down to the heart

It's remains the same through all ages
From the Alpha to the Omega

To understand this and study the text
Will surely make you better

But many a man will not even bother
With Preconceived notions they call it a myth 
That's the  stumbling block that lies before them.

If I could soften the hearts of the hard hearted man to actually understand

The Greatest source of literature lies right before them

I remember that silver ore
Unrefined but intermittently beautiful
Just a hope for the future
A heart beat amongst the blood
And the teeth and the scars
That had left their marks on me

  I remember seeing you and smiling
Odes to the dawn, and dance, and the seeds
All my hopes for the future
Just a lantern in a darkened barn
And the viscera, the platelets and cells
That had made their home in me  

I remember feeling
But oh well
Feeling one by one
Fingertips and hips and lips
And diamond veins
Deep underneath the surface

I remember the waning moon
Becoming new with the dreams of tomorrow
Just vain imagination
And the blood
I remember the blood was flowing
I cannot forget

Seeing you