It began in silence,
The kind that bruises,
The kind that teaches you
How pain can wear a smile.

It wasn't pretty like the movies
It was ugly
Like what they did to me
A cruelty
I would never place
On anyone's skin.

Bt even broken
I gather myself
Rising from what tried to end me
Proofing that pain
Cannot silence light
Still burning in me.

If I place my unvarnished self before you
The bruises I do not hide
The hungers I cannot starve
The storms that refuse their leash

Or would you look at me
And see the ruin of what you thought you loved
While I stand here
Knowing the ruin was always  me ?

You always know how to ruin me
With charm so cheap,it should come with change
Every touch, a practiced accident
Every word dipped in recycled rage

You whisper lies in the language of moans
God,you are talented,do they teach that in ego school?
And I applauding of course
Because who doesn't love a well-rehersed fool.

If you must be gone
Then come to me
In almosts
Almost seen
Almost heard
Almost real

Enough
To make me hope
Bt never
Enough to stay.

Sadness speaks in lullabies
No one wants to hear
In tears that fall
Without permission
In the ache that says
"You are not okay"
Bt you will be,someday.

And maybe,just maybe
If I keep pretending
Long enough
Happiness might forget
It was never mine
And decide to stay.

And if it doesn't
Atleast the light I borrowed
Kept me warm
For one more day.

I wake up with weight
Bt not from pain
Just the heaviness
Of feeling nothing.

I search my chest
Like someone lost their keys
Bt there's no spark
No trace of warmth.

Just silence
Where love used to echo
Now even the ache
Has gone quiet.