She doesn't say
"I love you"
      like a
     normal
     person.
     Instead,
  she'll laugh,
shake her head,
      give you
    a little smile,
       and say,
"you're an idiot"
       if she tells
            you
   you're an idiot,
          you're
               a
       lucky man.
\
            Take a
             lover
              who
             looks
             at you
                like
             maybe
             you are
              magic.
                                                                                       Jon York   2019

To finish your own life by hand,
May seem like the right thing to do.
But to free yourself from this land,
Is to imprison those that love you.

I don’t want to
Open my mouth
Because I’m still afraid
The truth might come out
And if it does
If it really breaks free
You’ll see what I am
You’ll see the true me
The one I hide
With jokes and lies
I’m a terrible person
All jokes aside
You don’t seem to know it
You don’t seem to see
Even a glimpse of that person
That I know to be me
I’m such a good actress
I hide it so well
Cover it with a laugh
And you’ll never tell
You see depth in my eyes
You see love and emotion
But what would you see
If I ever did open
I can’t bear to find out
I can’t bear to show
The me you don’t see
The me that I know
If I let it out
If I let it be
I know for a fact
That you would hate me.

How could i tell you?
That the pink that stained your cheek was no longer my favourite colour,
that your laugh sounded out of tune,
that your skin lacked the heat i craved,

that my love dwindled and then fell away all at once.

i'm sorry and i'm not.

i love you, but i don't.

You said you'd always love me
so why do I sit here alone at 3am
wondering where it went wrong.

i
   write
            because
                        my
                             thoughts
                                           won’t
                                                   stop
                                                         talking