External distractions
For internal ailments
Why ponder my condition when I can dance in the moonlight?
Big screen for the dopamine
Small screen for the socialite
A seed yet to sprout--my social life
Some nights, these thoughts bring fright
Am I the only one whose mind has foresight?
How long can this go?
How long can I go?
The flesh is tempered
But my soul is tired
I'm always tired
Please, please, I need rest
Please, please, I'm doing my best
Please, please, I am my own mess

In our modern world
We cannot bask in emotions
Deemed uncomfortable
No wonder
Nothing is taken earnestly
Even clowns
Know when jokes stop
Now look at us:
We have become one

Unpleasant events
Happen to us all
But, never is trauma an excuse
To oppose all, to hurt all
For then, what separates the betrayer
From the broken?

So close, so near
Yet, you do not feel here
How can such little space
Feel like lightyears?
Amongst a crowd
They could all look at me
And still I would say:
Why do I feel empty?

As the music box plays
Childhood melodies
Pure joy and bliss
With a mind full of thrills
Then, I grew up
And the notes distorted

A year ends, once again
Bad things occurred
But why blame the year?
It would've happened no matter the number
Because, we made up that number.

When I open up my eyes
Look forward to you
Need no caffeine
For you revive me
Today you seemed happy
S t r i k e !
In came the doubt
Is this the path you want?
W a i t !
Why are you asking that?
You’ve gone this far
Close to the end
On the precipice of success
Don’t go back
To what ruined you
Inside you want to go
But I wont let you
Swear that it’s no good
The hurdles have been cleared
Yet when you jump over one
You create three more
Wish I could be your hero
Zero possibility
But how about
I knock the hurdles down
This wasn’t here before
Stop building up defense
For a threat in your imagination
Listen to me faintly
Cry for mom
Yell for dad
Whatever gets you out of this
Trip toward tragedy
You question the world
Daily
Why can’t you accept yourself?
Oh how I wish I knew
To save you from yourself
It’s not your fault
Life is just this way…
For now
Strike down the illusions.

Toxic sassafras
Poison to the bone, yet still
I desire it so

How can one brain
Ponder the existence of living?
So many humans on the Earth
Yet most are a predicament
Easier to break than breathe
A melody with no reprieve
On auto-pilot to prevent the riots
My eyes see through
But the vision is twisted, I feel distant
These eyes, they realize, the truth of demise
How can I act surprised when the truth is inside?

My eyes, they grow
Weak and weary
Waking up and feeling teary
Look around, I see tyranny
So look to me, I have a theory:
In this corner of space
With no distance nor pace
I have no place where I will amount
A discount version of every human to come out
2 for 1, another sequel
Who will live to see my dismount?
I have no mission aided by superstition.

Fiction or fact
Is today the day when reality attacks?
Once arouse, the blood covers roses
Without some reason
How can I tell apart the seasons?
All in a mess, forever in treason
The light reflects shadows under us
Yet, today
Our shadows have become us

Stuck at home
Or is it one?
What constitutes a home?
A place you miss
Once you leave its view?
How about a goal
Longingly pursued?
Safehaven praised
After hectic days?
If Earth is our home
Why aren't we satisfied?
Moving around
From birth till we die
Existential coast of moving
Forward without looking back
Downright attack
A place to develop?
Where you go when your eyes swell up?
Hard to find
When the mind is enveloped
True home is in the heart
How can you say that for certain?
Do you know your heart?
Does anyone know anything?
Sitting around waiting for offspring
Good thing all these thoughts
Conclude in the spring.

I acquired my sensitivity
From clarity
But no one cares about charity
Cause that doesn't get a degree
Now we're stuck with a spree
That forgets about antiquities

Awaiting an answer
Keen anticipation
Founded in curiosity
Yet when the answer is known
It is not the truth
But someone else's truth
...
What has happened?

I had a dream
Birds spoke to each other
I talked to them
Yet they didn’t speak my language
Never understood
The message I sang
Sat down on a dock
Gazing into water
Black as space
My head spun like a top
Dropped into the galactic water
I could see the stars
Feel the touch of the galaxy’s embrace
Spheres
As far as I could see
In the center of the stars
Resided a babe
Small in size
Recently placed
I grasped the child
Looking for a parent
Until I woke up
Stuck not in space
But in the duties of adulthood

Losing interest in accommodation
Of cash and rapport
A fortified compound
No rehabilitation for the whole nation
Surrounded by wilderness
In the thick of bliss
Bars covering up the truth
What's the prognosis?
Secrecy arrives once love dies
Time flows clockwise
Questioning the enterprise
Becoming neutralized
Turning away from the truth I recognize
Personalized, traumatized
Mesmerized by thoughts I overemphasize  
Symphonies of praise
Bring to me no gaze

Why give life?
Humans breed all destruction
Drift through space
Make even more
Increase
Population bursting out
Some are nice
Most are aggravating
Why give life?
Want a child?
There's plenty of them
Wishing for a home
Three meals given through love
Not systematic necessity
Why stop with people?
There's so much that already exists
Let's all stop
Why give life?

Strength of a lion
Soul of a saint
Wish I had both
But all I do is faint
Can't handle existence
Even though I exist, I feel transparent
Look through me, see the fear within me?
----------------------------------------------------------
Ot­hers see men as men
All I see men as are wolves
Men and women alike
To be human is to be in a bubble
Blind to trouble, avoider of struggle
Chasing after pleasure by running over heads
The scales have broken, balance bespoken
--------------------------------------------------------­--
But, am I any better?
Never initiate the imitator
All you get is replication
Let these words fester in a letter
For to remain deranged is to be estranged

Children hate adults
Adults deny children
The root of all evil:
Envy with no solution
All sides despise when the other thrives
Jealousy makes envious the ones who deny being free
Let me paint a picture on a smooth canvas:
Children want more than mere satisfaction
They want to adventure, create, and stay far from irate
Adults venture, prostrate, and gate
With the same events, day-by-day
It's a wonder how any love to stay
Squandering potential
With the mental fitness
Only an obsession if it makes no cash
Otherwise, a hustle, all of it is sad
How can adults defy the false guidelines?
Lines on the ground dictate our rarity, devoid of clarity
Placing our rewards on the mantle
To justify our pulse, an equal intake relation
No more salvation
Adults crave freedom
Children possess it
So we squander their development
And put it up to the elements

Gather around
Here's the demographic:
4 men
Gathered around a table
Ready to seek fortune
Through a simple game
A gambler's trial
From left to right
A debt collector who can't pay off his own
A man profiting to earn medicine for his son
A rich kid, wanting to prove himself
Lastly
The one no one knows
Former Olympic gold-medalist
At fencing
Down on his luck
With what little he has
Perhaps fate will be kind
No chance of a reply
Small talk isn't the goal
Must integrate
Some form of strategy
Yet the hardest ones
Are the ones who are clueless
Of course, they could assist one another
But pride is at stake
No chance of mistake.

Like a star
Shining brighter than all
Correlation to constellations
Together forever
Until the years burn into ashes
Dusted and thrusted away
Into a memory
Like a star
Fading and passing
But never quite going out
Even as it dies
No one will ever quite forget it all
So when I wake up
Will you still be there for me?
I want to shine like you
But all I can do is pretend
Yet it makes people smile
I shine so brightly
To call out to you
I hope that you see
The brightness of this world
Maybe I really can be like a star

Blood and bones
Flesh like honey
Attached to the earth, by a stem
Gravity

Peering into the looking glass
Reflection, refraction
Dividing my face into quadrants
One side droops while the other stoops
Incongruent with my own race
Do I feel human today?
Or is the feeling returning?
Looking into the mirror
Why can I not recognize this face?
Two opposites in one, rabbit and cobra
Fierce but gentle, violent yet parental
Two halves in one whole
Yet, the pieces don't fit.

All I am is busy
Artificial demand
Who was the demented soul that created the mobile phone?
Separate lives, away from the scene
Now my freedom is taken
In a line of text, strings
A puppeteer behind the scenes
Superiority breeds inferiority
But in a land full of flawed monkeys
We are equal
Not in our rights, but in our ability to be feeble
After this line, I go back to the grind
Grinding my teeth
It's what I deserve
When will the happiness return?
Have I become too disturbed to learn?

Walking
Down life boulevard
Not a care in my head
Certain that I'm uncertain
But it's alright
As long as we all...
Jason
Rhys
Sylvia
Lily and Silver
Go down to the boardwalk
Soak in the sunlight
Until the day
It hides from our sight
So, my friends
Same time as always
As for me
Vacant is what I'll be.

Can't fall asleep
Fear?
Of what?
Nervous
About nothing
Maybe I can't
Bring myself to sleep
Under universal conditions
All others follow
Too much on my mind
Full platter
No chance to make it leftover
Instead
You're on my mind
Yet your's is gone
Dusted away
From flames and heroics
I miss you...
Dad.

Rage, anger
Compulsion to yell
To scream at the sun
Drowning serene ambiance
With vibrating violence
Held under lock and key, so long
So many thoughts cloud my perception
Deep breaths cannot cure the sickness
So today, I yell
Tomorrow, it continues
For the future, more
For the past was a bore
But now that I am
I wish that I was not

Is it me?
Or, is it just me?
Struggling garbage
Something broke inside
It is different each time
Tough times rot the core
Never able to weather the storm

Orion
Ursa
Lyra
All I have to view
Resides in each one of you
You all form a bond
With each and every star
Oh, constellations up above
Why can't we share your love?

I leaned over to the man
With shaking legs
A face, weathered by tension
I looked into his eyes and asked:
"Sir, how did you end up here?"
He replied with no hesitation
"I cared too much about others
Now with my condition
I am no one without another."

The most dangerous person
Doesn't wield a gun
Brandish a sword
Or **** back his fists
But someone who displays
Excitement, mixed with nostalgia
On one hand, a turnaround
On another hand, a catastrophe

Back again
For a hangman's gambit
Will today be the day
Where my blood runs cold?
For the apathy surrounding me
Infects me to the bone
Becoming a drone
The atmosphere, help me, please
So thick with pressure
It strives to choke me
Going for broke, is this a joke?
Things fall apart
But, like this? In a fit of mischief?
Seems to happen so frequently
Makes me wonder
When will it come to me?

You need to be careful
With your relation
To the subconscious
Or your true self
May soon live elsewhere

They say we are the apex predator
As we live on a planet
Which throws disasters
Of natural elements
If we own this world
Why can our lives unfurl?
We still have some control
But for how long?
As the restrains slip
We lose ourselves to the natural law:
Every action has two reactions
But when billions of people
Throw toxin into space
We act like there's one
Like an estranged lover
We only remember what affected us
Like an aging samurai
We have lost our drive to fight

Done with all my tasks
While the clowns trade masks
Cast into a casket
Older than Damascus
It seems like today, probably tomorrow
All people do is what they have to
But never what they want to
Confined to the clock
Always in a hurry
Rushing for the door; bottleneck
Rush hour, every hour
What notion are we trying to elect?
No time for a party
No place for a break
All I see is busy feet and hurt soles
Where is the soul?
When will life become gold?

Sir, I would like to wake up
My time of shame has ended long ago
I was scheduled for before
But here I am now
Ready to be sheltered from the disaster
But, what do I run from?
How can a threat be in my mind?
DNA inside, code needs a redesign
Born into apathy, such a tragedy
Sir, I would like to ask you
Should I wake up?
Or sleep, for peace inside?

I am not afraid
Of the rambling man
Who has no filter
Speaks in rhyme
Proclaiming the clouds
Are diamonds in the sky
I am only afraid
Of what drove him mad
If it claimed one
When will it claim many?

A life with no zest
Taste has been iced
Sight is no longer realized
All I hear is scratches and fakes
Smelling the rot coming from my core
In denial of the truth
Cause with fatigue, moving is a chore
Inside a pit of poets, I stand out
Raw and unfiltered to show my situation is dire
Going out for parties bring no satisfaction
When waking up is a chore, how can I live past tomorrow?
If I could find the source
I would stick it
But when the hemispheres lie on opposite ends
How can I function with a malfunction?

Concrete
Concave
A con of all
In a carnival
Hollow has no equal
A thrill ride with no sequel
Wait a couple of years, rebooted
Those who booed it will soon salute it
Extended from the mind into beautiful ruin
On a beautiful day
We all tell beautiful lies

I do not want to die
I want to stop existing
I do not want to cry
I want to release my emotion
I do not want to sleep
I want to cure my heart's erosion
I do not want to be weak
I want to learn how to be a boulder
I can keep saying what I want
But "want" and "do" are two roads with no guide
One is realistic
The other resides in a hypothetical, deep inside

I have never been privy
To liquor or brandy
By no means am I opposed
To a glass of fire, in prose
But suppression runs in the family
So when the limits come off
The jazz halts
Replaced by silent melodies
A substance to suppress
The harshest of remedies
I fight, I fight
Yet the hardest to conquer
Was my own innate insanity

Woke up again, 3 AM
Subconsciously trying to tell me
That things are amiss
Is there a point that I have missed?
Answers on a horizon I cannot fathom
Eclipsing my vision, iris circumcision
Decisions to make, faces to fake
As my feet quake, hope gets raked
Such an ache
Wanted a rhapsody
Received a lament, such a descent
On top of the world like a king and queen
Entertaining hypotheticals
Hope is not in the reticule
I'd call myself prophetical if more were esthetical
Wanting more from myself
While my health gets put on the shelf
Flying high in the sky
Until I wake up
Then my feet and future become clandestine

Colonial customs
Have not evolved
For we put stock on community
Without bearing witness
To communion

Crimson minds
So divine
Tantalizing
Fantasizing about infighting
As we question what exactly drive means
Today is a mistake
Tomorrow will be moronic
Never iconic

Pots and pans
Collide onto the ground
Snaping awake
Risen from the grave
Sauntering around
Searching for a light
Lantern? No
Flashlight? No
Phone screen will work
Tapping
Breaking
Yelling
In the kitchen
What's cooking up in there?
Oh, I see
Burglary is on the menu
Lanky kid
Crowbar in hand
Clean, never used
Items remain abused
Look out kid
Got more than the phone
Stashed in my pocket

Starving
For a missing piece
To become at peace
We must find what we seek

If I am me
Then what are you?
What if we are the same
Am I you too?
Doppelganger
In the flesh
But if they are better than me
Is this my final rest?
Replaceable, traceable
I correspond
But cannot comprehend
At the end of the day
Am I just, homogenous?

Moral high grounds
Crumble to dust
When pressed through reality
For no man, not one
Will ever be good
Evil wears no hood
Because these labels, which we swear by
Large in size, fit for a demise
Madness is prescribed
We all step on heads to get by
No one is a hero, just people
Trying to be alive

To live is to suffer
But the more we do
The less we want to

Show off your skills
Discover a true talent
So that when you do
Slick salesmen can make it monetary
Is this purgatory?
Talent with no passion leads to a miscarry
Scary, living life one day at a time
Because when the years go by
Your passion will fly
Not soaring high, just coasting by.