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I don't want to be understood, I gave up trying a long time ago. I just want to be respected I'm in no position to keep asking when you should already know.
You'll get insults to infinity, I cannot judge because you do not know. Incase you do gain some dignity. I've learned to make it fun although the consequences is being shunned. No one wanted a "special" child like me but without your help I've learned to explore confidence like the seven seas.
There are pages about me that you have not read but if you walked in my small shoes you'd probably be dead. Yes I'm very  quite but in reality my imagination is on auto pilot. I'm tuning out the harsh thoughts I can read from your face, the body language that shouts "disgrace" you think I will never succeed but money, traveling, a job and marriage isn't the issue you've already lost because of your greed. You say that there are things that I cannot do but why should I give up my dreams and my life because of a sour soul like you?
Associate with people who make you happy even if your circle becomes small
Some think that they fill your lungs with air.
Just to watch you breathe out  misery and despair.
People think that you can't live without them even if they make you miserable.
 Jun 2016 Chalsey Wilder
m i a
it wasn't really school bullies, that have torn me apart,
or a past lover who broke my heart,
but more so, my own blood
who has caused this everflowing flood,
of pain, sadness, and madness in my mind
they think that because i'm still breathing, i'm doing just fine
when really,
im going to explode like a land mine
*eventually.
*by blood i mean my family.
Tell me I'm a loser
Tell me I'm not well in the head
Tell me I'm a horrible chooser
But let me tell you that if you lived in my shoes
You'd already be dead, you'll never know what I have gone through.
Chasing someone who has no interest in you
is like trying to grasp clouds. Move on to someone reachable!
The devil is not what he seems. He can take your hand and tell you  there is nothing to fear, mimicking a child's infatuated dream. Wipe away your tears gently from your delicate cheek. Shower you with jewels, roses, a small black dress. Anything you seek from the man your hands caress. His words can be more soothing as gentle fingers to a harp, his eyes possess your soul with a stare so angelic, and a mind so sharp and a figure that's athletic. He is the shadow that lurks looking for love in every place, you believe you are his universe as to him you are just a small town in a state. Reality is that he's a witch's curse, he promised you he was unique to others maybe better but you realize he's even worse.
Nothing personal! Just wrote what came to mind
I've always wondered off alone, I've never thought of my house I live in as a home. As I grow I wonder about the possibilities of the earth, I've longed to explore since year one of my birth. When the sun shines, I look to it and stare. Wherever else he shines above I want to  be there. I wonder off enjoying the silence of the spring day, creating ideas that may go a long way. They address me as a loner who will socialize never but in all honesty being alone is what makes me so clever.
They say that I'm one with a future so bright.
But it seems my anxiety helps me fail to see the light.
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