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 Apr 2014 Forgotten One
Emily
What a mistake I made
Investing my love
Devoting my time
Into someone so incapable of loving another
You don't even love yourself
So depressed, you want to die
It happens to the best of us
But that's no reason to give up
I shouldn't have been selfish
I should have just been the friend you needed
But instead I pursued something more than just friendship
And it's led me to being so hurt and alone
You're much younger than me
You're not really committed to me
I'm such a fool
For almost falling for you
I need to step back now
Before the damage grows
You're not ready for this
You can't give me what I want
I want your all
Every little piece of you
Emotional and physical
But you're not ready for that
And now I must take a step back
I love you and always will
But you're not ready for this
And it's all going downhill
© Naomi 2014
 Apr 2014 Forgotten One
Emily
When you ignore me
I'm stabbed with disappointment
And plagued with loneliness
Why do you do it
I don't get it
I thought this was love
I thought this was real
I guess to you, it's all a joke
I can't put myself through it again
I won't
© Naomi 2014
 Apr 2014 Forgotten One
Emily
My thoughts are my own
My creativity is mine to express
I will share with you what I choose
You will not violate me
You will not invade my mind
Do not read my poetry
It is like my diary
If you love me
Respect me
I can't afford a therapist
I'm not comfortable telling everything
To my biased parents
Writing is my release
My poetry is mine
It is the expression
Of my deepest, darkest thoughts
And it is my decision
When I choose to let you know
Everything that I'm thinking
And the feelings I do not show
Do not cross this line again
For next time
I won't tolerate the violation
Just tired of people going out of their way to find my poetry and read it.  

© Emily 2014
 Mar 2014 Forgotten One
R Saba
it was all i could do
not to uncap my pen
and mark you, let the ink
seep into your skin
let the words, the anxiety bleed through me
and into you
so that you might understand

how do you feel?
you ask
and i want to write it into you
scratch the answer deep
or at least
write it down
and it's all i can do
not to unleash these words
every minute of every day
they're kept at bay
until i can string them together
alone

so that the next time you ask
how do you feel?
i will have nothing to say
except
fine
poetry is a lifesaver
Just ten minutes after I'd revved the engine
I was only nine miles away from the love of my life
Day dreaming of when we’d met just eight short months ago
Soaring at seventy down that country road
Only six more miles until she’d be in my arms again
Five years ago thoughts of love would have seemed so far out of sight
Yet four times I've already proposed, “too soon,” she’d always say
Amazing how in three seconds your entire life can change
With just two tires there’s little room for error
When one blew out I hit the asphalt, hard
In a wreck like that there’s zero chance I’d survive
One hour later the ambulance arrived at last
EMTs pressed two paddles against my chest
Shocks were delivered three times
At the hospital doctors performed four operations
Five months I spent in a coma
Followed by six months of physical therapy relearning to walk
In time all seventeen broken bones had set and healed
It cost me eight grand to buy a new bike
Now nine years later I’m still riding, fearless, wife on the back
The tenth time I asked, she finally said yes
 Mar 2014 Forgotten One
Ciana
Simon Says
Do not let the anxiety attack
The phrase running through the empty spaces
deep inside the mind of a mad woman
The mind of a malevolent monster,
she who does not see first the good in others
But the pain, oh the pain they feel
Projecting onto her as if she is a goddess
The silent one who walks among the clods
They don't want you.
Telling the voice which feeds the addiction
to fear , pain and manipulation to stop
You mean nothing, you are nothing.
Stop judging and poking and prodding
to create the nightmares.
The things she sees in others who don't care
Those living in fear since conceived,
told who and what and how to believe
If you just agree, you'll have friends
If you just listen you'll have a "life"
Just follow me
Should I die,
as a follower?
Or alone...
It's freedom... It's the way
Wearing a costume to appease while calling it unique?
Believing that beauty is a representation of a Holocaust victim,
the women starving themselves to look like the ones America “feeds”?
Thinking it appeals to show some skin,
when the ones who look either need a bucket or napkin?
Putting the idea in your head that substance is survival,
Telling you not to do drugs while the doctor writes the prescription
Given your own rights,
a bar code with a smile on the side to define who you are
Who... are ... you?
Declare me a young David Koresh,
creating a prolonged disaster

It's not fair...
It's not fair for one so young
to know why her peers are inarticulate
And it's not fair...
It's not fair for a heart so big to build a wall
of all the things, people, places and dreams that once stood so tall
So ask yourself...
Am I the butcher? Or am I the meat?
Should I hate the shepard, if I am the sheep?
It's not fair...
Its not fair to live in a world so small
after all the years of shame and pain,
still unable to find somewhere to belong.
So ask yourself, outside of all the pain
them all telling you to forgive, forget
In the final look, does the deer forgive the wolf?
You answered just a little too fast.
It surprised me.
I haven't seen you in about a year,
And I am realizing I've missed you.
It surprised me.
The last time I saw you,
And the time before that,
You were intoxicated.
It surprised me.
I haven't seen you in about a year,
And I am realizing what you are to me.
It surprised me.
You are a dress without hems or seams.
I hardly know you but you are beautiful.
You are the bullet in the rotating cylinder of the gun to my head.
You dig through my skull and explode my amygdala.
And force me to love you.
You are the jam in the barrel as I pull the trigger.
I fell to the ground in realization:
You both killed me and saved me.
It surprised me.
Follow me on Twitter: @laniate

Tumblr: whateverdoubleloserr.tumblr.com

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