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  May 2018 Cass Indigo
Mike Hauser
you type me in stereo
of how i should be
how i should sound
to whom i should speak
where i should live
in or outskirts of town
what circles to mix
who to hang around

are we not unique
in our own special way
why then look at me
when i say what i say

yet you think i should walk
the same steps as you
learn how to talk
just like you do
eat at the same table
be a part of the crowd
wear the same labels
as you're wearing now

i'm my own person
not out on a loan
can't think of much worse than
typing me in stereo
  May 2018 Cass Indigo
emmaa
we all have habits
they make us who we are
they’re what makes us unique

the twirling of her hair
the nibbling of his nails
the tapping of their foot

you used to do this little thing
you’d touch the tip of your nose
in the peak of your amusement

you would fidget
usually with the hair tie at your wrist
you’d snap it constantly

you ran your fingers
through your hair
nervously working the nerves

sometimes when you were deep in thought
you’d chew on the inside of your cheek
i could always tell by the sour look on your face

and when you got embarrassed
you’d smile and bite your lip
and turn bright red

or how right before a performance
you’d thump a hand over your chest
a harmony to the heavy thudding of your heart

those were the things that made you you
the things you didn’t notice
the things nobody would unless they knew you

the way i knew you
knew
before everything changed

you’re still the same you, though
for the most part
people change, habits don’t

you still touch your nose when you laugh
you still snap your hair tie on your wrist
you still run your fingers through your hair

you still chew the inside of your cheek
you still bite your lip when you’re embarrassed
you still thump on your chest before a show

you’ve changed
but you’re still human
and humans are creatures of habit
  May 2018 Cass Indigo
Veronica Emilia
i have anxiety
undiagnosed.

sometimes it feels like my head is stuffed with crumpled ***** of paper: the things I never said, the things I should have never said, the things that someone never said to me.

all of these things are written on every piece of paper
there are so many right now that no more would be able to fit
yet i can't stop thinking things, i can't stop saying stupid things, i can't stop wishing things.

i sigh I reach up to my forehead and i grasp my bangs
with my shaky hands and pull

i'm hoping one day when i do this
the top of my head will yank open
all of these crumpled pieces of thoughts
will pour out in a pile
on the floor
i will kneel down
and uncrumple each and every piece
i will read each one
until my head fills up again.
  Apr 2018 Cass Indigo
andromeda green
"You're so smart!"

"Oh, uh, thanks"

Somewhere,
Somehow,
Before I could decide,
I was placed into a box.
I was put into a place where escaping was not an option
As I began to realize I could not escape, I made the best of it.
I worked hard, I studied long nights, and I made the best of what I had
I was going to make this box my home.

"Of course it's her"
"She always wins everything"
"***, she's such a nerd!"
"Do you do anything besides study?"

I am overcome with confusion
Why had they, the people who had put me in my box
Begin to ridicule me for this?
I had grown accustomed to my box
I actually kind of enjoyed it
But now, I see that I was in a bad box
So,
I try to conceal it
Hide it
Wash it away

It didn't work.

Would I forever be the nerd?
The overachiever?
The effortless straight A student?
The no-social-life excluded nobody?
Would I forever be placed into a box
With the terms and conditions already applied?

- a.g.
this was based off of my own experiences from being "the smart one". whenever I've achieved something, people have always said "of course", like it came naturally. like I didn't work for that achievement. and most importantly, I have always had stereotypes made about me by people who knew nothing about me. this is to address this issue of "having everything handed to you" where many people do not realize the effort it takes for an individual to achieve any matter.

— The End —