Today I'm going to stop This ridiculous destructive thing I've been doing it to myself For five. miserable. years. I talk so much about How I hate to be controlled but this is controlling me I'm wasting my life and this is my fresh start I don't want to paint over the same old canvas I've already painted black I've gone down this road before and I could have been a killer I don't want to be her anymore The girl no one could help and just watched her waste away before them I'm no longer going to count the numbers and measure and weigh and cry and hate I'M DONE it can't control me anymore she told me she was worried about me now I know it's too far what do I care anyway about all this? It won't be very easy but I'm not going to do this to myself anymore I'm taking this canvas and BURNING IT I'm starting fresh I'm done with this I'm finished I need to be strong enough for her I won't become a statistic under the earth in a wooden box with only a block of cement to prove I ever existed because pretty doesn't have a size and for her I'm going to stop Five years is long enough