I am a machine
How 'bout that
I ought to run lean
But I am not clean

Ran over a cat
Made quite an impression
My passenger spat:
"That feline is flat"

Intake, compression
Ignition, exhaust
Here's my confession
(Oh what an obsession)

And what is the cost
For sweet release?
For toxins tossed?
Redeem what is lost

I ****, squeeze,
Bang, blow...
Forget to say please,
Run hot with ease

My fluids are low
I'm 'bout to run dry
A gasket might go
And oil won't flow

Oh why even try
This machine is obscene
My insides will fry
And soon I will die

And there is nothing
More to say about it
But I could go on all day

I hold a picture
With your face upon it
And that's my means to get away

I can't offer you
The things that he can offer
There is no tranquility

But there is one thing
That you can be sure of
You can always come to me

And we can fly around the sun  
And we can...
And we can travel to the other galaxies
A supernova passes by
And we can...
And we can stop and see the
Sun
     ...flowers
The sun
     ...flowers
The sunflowers that we see


You bet your life
I would not trade one night
Or day we had together, you and I

And when it seems
As though we're in for nasty weather
We'll take shelter from the sky

But I can't offer you
The things that he can offer
There is no tranquility

But there is one thing
That you can be sure of
You can fly away with me

And we can fly around the sun
And we can...
And we can travel to the other galaxies
A supernova passes by
And we can...
And we can stop and see the
Sun
     ...flowers
The sun
     ...flowers
The sunflowers that we see

The beat-down
    disciple
        knows

Someday she'll
    ...have
         new clothes

And the
    bitter
        God-transmitter
        
Having taped
    two thousand
        shows

Laying hands
    on all,
        he rose,

Had his coffee,
    spoke his
        prose,

Tuned his ear;
    thumbed
        his nose.

The sweet, sweet
    smell of
        spring,

Ah, the crisp
    olfactory
        ping,

And the
    honey-
        jar of money

Takes away
    the winter's
        sting

Far from fiendish filth, I’ll faithfully find my feet
Oh, only using an ointment I’ll oil my oaken oar
Refusing rifling romance from rows of real rides
Even-so every endeavor entreating evermore

Vile the vine, vain the shine that vexes my veneer
Every edge entreated, engenders ease of ache
Remove my resignations; my ruddy itching fear
My matron out of maiden did my marriage make

You yearn yet you yell, as your fellow is yellow
Deserving his death, and dearth of the deed
Engaged in the ending, enter elbow and ear
An angst that achieves anger and all are agreed

Reserving real rage til receiving the results
Entertaining every edgy enervating end
Stultifying satiation staving-off with salts
Till the termination of this terror, true friend, ...toward the tryst you tend

Sometimes you will
Try the mask on
No fun, no thrill
Not a bit fun

Feeling foolish while
Shaking their hands
But ...you do it
Anyway, and

Soon…you start
           to feel the part…for real.
The zealot’s zeal, …the urge to kneel...

Show me which are truths and lies
Show me what’s behind those skies
Tell me what I need to know
Lead me where I ought to go

Just help me get to a place
…where this mask
becomes my face.

I’m
Playing this part
Desperate to find
Under the art
Between the lines

The man I am,
A fraction of you,
¿Fact or scam?
Confusion all through

MCMLXXXI

Turning point

It was the day that changed my reputation
And my teachers’ descriptions of me
From “Jim is a natural leader”
To “Jim likes to keep to himself”
It had to do with my ego
It had to do with my not wanting to eat dirt;
Wanting to save face...

In conversation around the 4th grade lunch table, the topic turned from jokes and laughing to a rating of who was tough and who was not. Alex steered it thus...and at this point, Alex and Albert were doing the talking.

"I could totally kick THAT kid's ***", said Alex.   "And probably that dude's too.  He looks like a spaz".

"Just don't mess with Big Ben or he might sit on you", said Al, trying as always to get a laugh at someone else's expense.
"You know I could kick Jim's ***.  
...Right Jim? Right, you little *****? Heh heh."

"I dunno." I say with a shrug.

"Say it.  ...SAY IT."

"...Say what?"

"Say it! Say that you know I could kick your ***", said Alex with a yellow grin.

"What does it matter? This is stupid.", I say.

"Say it", says Alex, with his best mad face..."Say that I could kick your ***.  You know I can."

"I don't know that."

"Then I guess I will have to show you", Alex sneered.  And he proceeded to tell me how he was going to come to my house and beat the living **** out of me.  

"Whatever", said I.

The day went on and, believe it or not, I forgot all about his threat.  I thought I was past it.

Well, later that day, after I was home for a while, the doorbell rang.  I was a latch key kid, and home alone.  
I had put the whole confrontation out of my mind, so for a moment, I was surprised to see Alex on the front stoop when I opened the door...

He taunted me.  He did the old fakeout punch and I flinched big time.  I instinctively tried to block with my foot, and then he said, "oh, so you're trying to kick me now?", and he pushed his way in, grabbed me by both wrists, and pulled me out onto the front lawn.  

He straddled me and punched me. Mostly in the chest...but also got a few groin punches in...to let me know he wasn't afraid to fight *****.  I was pinned and couldn't do much.  That's what made me angriest.  My helplessness in the face of this evil bully, grinning with delight at the pain he could inflict.

And here, the story gets worse.  When I was able to get away, I ran for the front door to hopefully get in and lock him out.  Unfortunately, he was on my heels and pushed his way into the house.  

And just at the point where he was literally rubbing my head against the stucco wall just inside the front door...my MOM WALKED IN.

****.  

THAT made it FAR worse.

The worst possible ending as far as a kid's reputation is concerned.  Mom grabbed Alex by the neck and put him out on his ear.

After that I had to endure, of course, the taunts of "hey look it's Jimmy...he has his Mama fight his battles for him."...beautiful.  Just wonderful.  

I got past it eventually, of course, but this episode had forever changed something in me.  My demeanor changed.  My love of my fellow man was reduced ...and I was much more focused on SELF...on navigating the social workings of elementary school unscathed.

Alex, as it turned out, had a tough family life.  Single Mom, and an older brother that beat the **** out of him regularly.  Al's home life wasn't great either, I guess.  It was that humor that grows out of pain that drew me to them in the first place.  
I've always been drawn to sources of laughter...it's a primal desire to laugh and to elicit laughter.  I've even read that monkeys have been known to tickle their children just like humans do.  

It seemed Al's humor was always at someone else's expense...and Alex had this need for power- due to his complete lack of any at home.

I like to think that I got it back, my love for my fellow man...at least  for the most part...but every now and then I catch myself saying, "look at THIS *******", and in my head categorizing folks who I perceive to have wronged me in some small way as "Alex Smith Types".  
Al is now a doctor. He's helping people daily.  
I often wonder what ever happened to Alex.  I have no idea how he turned out or what ever happened to him.  

Through grit teeth, I wish him well...the ***** *******.

Intoxicated laughter, sober rage
Both are made within this cage
Silent prayer and crippling fear
Are ever present when you're near
The end of this short time with breath
Mysterious, this launch toward death

     The LORD will ******
     Every
     One

     It seems to be
     How He
     Has fun

So, now I am completely clean,
And see the way these thoughts careen?

Let's cling to hope
That God has planned
An amazing banquet
A rockin' band

A natural high
So real so true
In our new bodies
You, you, and you

ALL are invited
And ALL will arrive
LOVE will win
You needn't strive

Just open up
Your weary eyes
And know that here
Around you lies

A magic love
Hidden from view
It's waiting patiently
Waiting for you

'Delights in fulfilling
Every prayer detected
*But never in the way
That you expected

The restless soul
                             heaves a low heavy moan

Of loneliness
                                     when we’re not alone

We all have inner
                                              sadness at times

Enjoy this brief visit
                                   before the clock chimes

I want you so badly it makes me cry
I’m lonely, I’m lost, and in need

     My son let me hold you,
        your tears to dry
     Here is some food, little one,
        now feed

I want you so bad, or I think that I do
But why can’t I hear you speak?

     You need to learn discipline
        and what's really true
     Have faith in things you can’t see,
        yet seek

I so want to hear you, right here in my ear,
But what would you say if I could hear?

     I’d say, “Be at peace”
        and, “Try not to fear”
     I’d tell you I love you,
        and that I am near.

But Lord, precious Lord, please forgive me for asking...
And Lord, my God, I don’t mean to doubt you,
But aren’t these responses just of my own crafting?

     Not a bit.  
   I exist within you and without you.

I exist,

      within you,

             and

                   without you.

These giant bones-
Where are they from?
How came they here to my English home?

To Uncle Chuck’s
Curiosity chest - the strangest treasures
In all the West

Grandmothers’ faiths
Don’t correspond.   A fresh new narration
Is sent from beyond

And small variations
Throughout the years, demand supplications;
Precipitate fears

Perhaps he’ll unlock it,
His eyes how they shine...when showing the locket,
The poisonous spine,

The shrunken head,
And the mummy’s finger, fill us with dread
The memories linger

The showman will bow,
As he locks them away, but seared in our brains,
These images stay

It’s worse than a hunger

But we try to make it

Go away

In any way

We can think to slake it

Try to drown it

Or smoke it out

Try to fill it with food

Try to exercise every **** day

It’s still a nagging, hollow, unbearable need

I need to throw something at it!



I drank lots of water

I worked out hard

I ate some junk food

And toked in the car

I wish I could make myself

Try really hard

But I’m numb and complacent

And my flesh won’t face it



Gotta’ get back to work

Gotta’ get back to work

I was in the middle
Fiddling with my head
Dreading every step
Trepidation fear and dread

All at once it hit me
We’re all inside this flow
Knowing you, I should’ve seen
Gleaned the twist, but no

I was blind again
When I looked within
Sin and death were lurking there
Where then should I begin?

All at once you revealed
Sealed secrets of the past
Lasting truths I’d forgotten
Penning me in at last

There’s a germ under my toenail and it’s telling me what to do

There’s a germ that’s much to blame for why I’m losing touch with You


And I don’t know what to do, Lord, ‘bout wand’ring and revolt

But it’s the germs, Oh God, …
You know it’s not my fault.



There’s a voice from my past, who liked to talk about true Love

And the train filling the temple and the symbol of the dove

Preaching about the fear of the LORD, Offering a shoulder for your tears

But then again, it is perfect Love that casts out fears…



Then I think of the usurper from whom I take my name

And how he left his family without a shred of shame

The youth leader was his thorn and in his flesh she stuck

And so he frolicked, and left town, and didn’t give a ****



This appendage of the Body when these two start their rambles

Scatters like the seeds… that were sown among the brambles

So we grow and change and join in with a new throng - and we’re bored

We’re staying now for hours, hearing words of knowledge from the LORD



And watching hippie-throw-back-chicks with banners dance and swoon

And a friend upon the floor face-down starts writhing like a Bedlam loon

But sometimes there’d be special folks who’d cut through all the bull

And artists who, like me, seriously, wanted to be full



But maybe we were meant to learn to starve upon this earth

Like Franz’s fasting artist, I’ve been hungry since my birth

But couldn’t find the food I liked, nothing would suffice

“I’ve food that you know nothing of”, quips the Bread of Life



It’s been a masquerade of sorts… a lying to my self

The yearning’s real and solid as a tome upon a shelf

I’m happier when feigning faith (I think) I heed the call

But secretly, I feel as though I’m talking to the wall



The chasm yawns and stretches to unfathomable dimensions

Atonement is a far-off thing; …the germs control all my intentions

Or are we of a higher-order, on a lower-order plane,

Watched with love as we trudge and labor through this pain?




Fifth dimension beings in a four-dimensional place

Scholars trapped in meaty bags unwitting contestants in this race

To see if we can run it well, and in the end be told

Well done! …And now, I’ll remove your cursed cruel blind fold




To a God unknown, I freely state my low and perverse ways

I treat myself, and love myself, to make it through my days

With mercies new each morning and with amazing grace

It’s possible, through outrageous fortune, someday I’ll see your face

Old men are just depraved, we find,

There is nothing that I could

Have done to stop his sick old mind

From ruining the neighborhood



Parties that we once thought fun

Must now cease, it’s understood

Stay away the sick’s begun

Stay away for your own good



Grandfather-like he welcomed in

Little children, unawares

Rousing himself from his sleep

Oversight of vacant stares



Maybe it was just because

His brain was simply overtired

But slyly with unnerving jaws

His twisted mind became inspired



And snap, he tried to clamp them shut

On one so innocent and young

She dodged the trap and in her gut

It felt like she’d just been stung



Repeatedly she’s made to tell

Each tittle till the record's straight

She’s told forgiveness is the way

To handle his untoward state



And I stood idly by back then

A selfish little punk was I,

‘Only wished it hadn’t been

For my own serving each July



Enlightening it was to me

The sugar-coating thus removed

The world’s a cesspool, I can see

Monsters are real, it’s been proved



What’s more, oh sad epiphany,

The foul force within that man,

Exists a smidgeon deep in me,

Though full expulsion is the plan



It’s extant in the meat and bones

But I have yet to comprehend

Why that which speaks in dulcet tones

With animal-weakness can’t contend

Come back to me
     From that vague memory
Those hazy retreats
     With singing and sweets

The word in my hand
     From memory, bland

I can't imbibe so much as a word

Oh pleasantry
     Come back to me
Plunge me deep beneath the river
Fond behemoth, make me shiver!

Hold me down... Hold me under
     Hark! The curtain torn asunder!

But the darkness is spread
     I lie in my bed

I can't imbibe so much as a word

I've children who yearn
     To learn and to learn
But what have I here?
     Doubt and great fear

What will this burning fire do?
     Should I try to paint it true?
Will it burn them, burn them up?
     If they choose to drink this cup?

The first of September, first chill in the air
Sorrow hangs heavy, but do not despair

All will work out as it’s meant to
There’ll be a place we will get to
Best friend don’t you forget to
Come and lean on me

~

Remember sunflowers and islands and moons
Remember the way that you made this boy swoon

We can still get past the rough parts
You’re gone, but we still have two connected hearts
You’re one of infinity’s great works of art
We’ll soon learn just how to be

~

I hope we will get to a place where we can
Laugh about love while I’m holding your hand

‘Cause dear, when you hold me, I feel love
It’s not even something I’m proud of
But no, that’s not something… I’m rid of
Diane please kiss me goodbye

~

It can mean nothing to you, dear,
But please let me shed some small quiet tears

A little weep on your shoulder, Di
You can just give me the stink eye
I don’t even care if you don’t cry
But hold me close one more time

~

You were my best friend for twenty six years
We’ve had adventures and our share of tears

But also such laughter, it felt swell
Bubbling up from the deep well
When it subsided, I can’t tell
But I hope it’s not gone for good

~

One of these days in this nightmare of mine
I’ll wake with a start and see everything’s fine

Oh, everything’s just as it should be
My love for you, and your love for me
And this never happened, oh wouldn’t it be
Sweet, if that’s just how it went?

~

But love off-you-go now, you’ve been set free
And you won’t hear no more “pathetics” from me

Take your leave now from me, lady fair
I’ll picture you with your crazy hair
Flying like sparks through the chilly night air
I still care for you, like I say

~

I pray that whoever you’re meant for Diane
Will be everything you’d ever want in a man

Hope he fulfills you like you need
Hope he is gentle…and charming indeed
Be happy you have finally been freed!
And you can do just what you want

~

       I’ll always love you …a little bit
       Because friend I cannot get rid of it
       We’re intertwined and it’s hard to break free
       Even now that you’re all done with me

The fog is all-pervasive
From here, it shades every vista

I thought it was was perhaps a smudge on my lenses
Or, considering the betrayal from my other faculties,
the beginning of the dimming that comes with age,

But my glasses were clean, and my eyes, but for the floaters, were clear

The edges fade as the settling fog
             reduces my view to impressionism

The streetlights pass at irregular intervals and I hold to my position at the end of the undulating line of red tail lights

When the flow finally becomes laminar, I am relieved,

Feeling like I'm making the jump to light speed as the beacons fly past,
Finally finding their proper rhythm

O Lord forgive me
Everything's hazy
I can't seem to live right
Without going crazy

My head is exploding
My gut is as well
You'd think this deters me
Like the prospect of hell

But time and again
Over and over
It doesn't, I hover...
Poison is lover

It's witchcraft, it's spirits,
Unholy devices,
It's victual vices,
And *** with sweet spices

It's worm of tequila
And the shine of the moon
It's Shire in my bowl
It's the Green Fairy's spoon

Lord I am wretched
I may be near-dead
I can't stop the pounding in
My ears, eyes, and head

I just want deliverance
I'm stuck in this bog
...well, maybe I'll just try
The hair of the dog...?

And so, after years of tax and toil
I return my body to the earth
My shell to nourish the darkened soil
I’ve loved and lived upon since birth
 
I believe I am both matter and spirit
Not just dust returning to dust
There’s a deep music that, when you hear it
Awakens you to th’ eternal ******
 
Like husk of seed, is decomposed
To let the plant unfurl, renewed
Like seed to plant is juxtaposed
My ghost, from flesh becomes unglued

This movie was panned
The critics all spat
Each write-up was canned
(It shows where we’re at)

They trash all that’s good
To bolster their cred
They fancy their food
Which they have been fed

But here’s food for thought
Go ask a true fan
Did it skip as it ought
The heart of a man

For mine felt a thrill
As I took it in
Yet poured from their quill
The critics’ great sin

I went down to “Eros”, sore,
And found that the Devil lived.

Every hour will emit time,
With the wolf flow and the ****-gals,

All decaf faced and sad,
Smug gums grinned and snarled,

Re-reviled deliverer,
You always stressed desserts,

^

I rise with a start and begin the routine

Waltzing down the stairs



And the pain is there

Like a beacon repeating



Stark and clean

In the October air



And the pain is there

Like a beacon repeating



But I relish, for now,

Each sprain and tear



And the warmth that awaits

And my lungs filled with air



Now each creak and pin

Make alarms sound within



But the pain is a friend

That will ward-off the end



With each crunch and stumble

I resign to the fumble



I’m thankful I’m here

Despite wince and tear



I lean into the pain,

The pulp, and the fear


^

Closeup of eye...
Its gaze toward the sky
The puddle that brims
And sloshes the rims

And as we zoom out
Beholding the lout
We see what he’s done
Lit up by the sun

Zoom further back still
We see the fresh ****
Which lays lifeless there
In crisp winter air

As blood starts to spread
The dark crimson red
A slow sticky flow
Which steams on the snow

And now looking down
From over the town
From view of a dove
Way up high above

A few tiny specs
These red and white flecks
The clouds now obscure
The dead and demure

The curve comes in view
The green and the blue
And the haze covers all
This humanity, small

Cries up from below
As further we go
The absence of sound
Absorbed by the ground

And still it moves round
Our star, without sound
And time will release
The deafening peace

And when the night has come
The eventide dusk having flown
I lay flat, knowing I am transient here
There's pain, ...but not fear...
Except for daughters, wife, and son.

The sickness is whispering, moaning,
Metaphorical, or real, never knowing.
My father's is bubbling over, they've shown...
And psychosomatic as ever, I own
Such guilt, for my lack of atoning.

His voice is not in the thunder
And the purpose of plague is to flounder,
And know in one's heart of the most perfect art,
That causes life's ending along with its start,
And allows for the will to lead where it may;
And to save all creation, but not in a way
That would breed automata, just to rip them asunder.

Down in the quantum foam

When you are walking the Planck

          It’s even deeper

          Even deeper

It’s even deeper you roam

On down to foreign banks



Upon the salient loam

Afloat on quantum seas

          It’s even deeper

          Even deeper

Untying strings you comb

Through Heisenberg’s uncertainties



Certainly, You know just where You are

As well as your true speed

          Loved and hated

          Trifurcated

String to well past largest star

With knowledge of my need



Unfathomable space

And structures in-between

          Even Larger...

          Larger, larger

With a smile upon Your Face

With a passion and a gleam



With your pinwheel doing cartwheels

You don your sombrero

           Iridescent

          Omnipresent

Before breaking seven seals

You pause and feed the sparrow



Scaling Sloan’s Wall

Like it was but a curb

          Here, you're at

          In no time flat

Redemption from the fall

Released with such reverb

Warbling whistling crooning chirping chanted serenade

Harmonizing humming hymns

Yodeling in the shade

Gasping groaning grieving murmuring moaning crying pant

Undulating swelling swirling

See the sickening slant

In Rochester, on East Avenue,
A greyish soul treks off to work,
Throws back the coffee handily,
Sleepily pays the sales clerk-

His gaze is now transfixed by a tree
Colorful and flowering
Wishes he could stay outside
Alas, the tasks are towering…

He checks and sets the openness
Of his eyes in his image in the glass,
So as not
     to make it seem
          he’s as gone
               as he is;
Stumbles past the guard, plops down on his ***,

Planted thus, in front of his monitor,
In a cubicle, first floor, across from the lab,
Curses his fate for landing him here,
In this windowless slogging, dark and drab.

Atavistic gills have I
For breathing in the void
For swimming up through space & sky
My organs thus employed

For since, in this world's atmosphere,
I have never drowned,
My dormant skill has reappeared
And up I soar, unbound

The woman I love is a magnificent creature
Caring and bearing so much, ...so much
When we met I thought there is so much to teach her
But quickly was I her student and such

Magnificent lessons learned I from this being
Touching and sharing I really can't say
What makes a bright angel, bejeweled in splendor,
Take a bent, broken creature, bedeviled, ...to stay

Come back to me
     From that vague memory
Those hazy retreats
     With singing and sweets

The word in my hand
     From memory, bland

I can't imbibe so much as a word

Oh pleasantry
     Come back to me
Plunge me deep beneath the river
Fond behemoth, make me shiver!

Hold me down... Hold me under
     Hark! The curtain torn asunder

The darkness is spread
     I lie in my bed

I can't imbibe so much as a word

I've children who yearn
     To learn and to learn
But what have I here?
     Doubt and great fear

What will this fire do
     If I try to paint it true?
Will it burn them, burn them up
     If they choose to drink this cup
                                                     ?

This is the time
This is the place
Wash off the grime
That covers your face
Step toward the goal
One step at a time
Each step takes its toll
Yet moves toward sublime

This is the day
As they say, as they say,
He has made, so be bold!
So be bold!

So hitch up your stockings
And follow the fold
Ignore all the mockings
And jeers from the throng
For you'll be with Jesus
Death comes 'ere long
And death is what frees us
Is that what He said?
Not really, re-read it...
(At least what's in red)

He spoke of the kingdom
Here on earth as in heaven
And how the yeast of religious ones
All pervasive like leaven

He never said focus on the end,
That wasn't the crux of his story,
Wait for heaven, wait for heaven,
Your time
Up in glory...
No.
The story
Doesn't go that way
So depart from the fray
Seize the day, seize THIS day
Be present and realize the kingdom is here,
The kingdom is now,
Get up and get clear
With some sweat on your brow
This is the day that the LORD has made
Carpe, carpe, carpe this diem
Forget heaven-plans that you made
And soon, I think you'll see Him

Why are you not here,
And I am left here holding on,
Didn't you know the way we were was fine?!
And do you know your baby's cryin'?

Seems all of my fear flew too far,
Look where we are.
What a year...and I wasn't tryin'
Do you hear this baby-whine?

      Can't you come back and hold me again?
I am in that fear
      Can't you come back and hold me again?
Promise I won’t shed a tear

Why are you not here,
And we are left here holding on,
Didn't you know the way we were was fine?
And do you hear your babies cryin?

     Fine. Fine! You’ll never come back.
     You're gone, but ...would you try?
             If you discover there's a way
             To let us know it's all ok?

Give my kind regards
To the King and the throng
Shedding ranks and singing all day long
Oh tell me you enjoy the song
          I hope that you enjoy the song

Death is approaching by year's end
My father is next in the family to go
And I, his eldest, with him to the end
Who should be his friend,
                               - am I really his foe?


I prayed once the reaper would take me instead,

Still being naive, and yet full of zeal,

In my dread at the news of another near dead,

I thought: if I was struck it would prove He is real...


Another thought now,
And this one less pure:
Why bother with treatment if
                 it
        is
               that
     sure?

-
I wake
    A thirst
        A terrible thirst
            Rouses me from dreamless sleep
                So down to the kitchen
                    To douse and slake
                         With book in hand...
-
Aurthur
    A hero?
        This King of golden,
            Olden tales
                More like David
                    Than I previously knew!
-
A boatload of infants
    Four weeks old and unattended
        Born around May Day
            And a good man's wife
                Plays wet nurse
                    to King Aurthur's undoing
-
Elsewhere on my bookshelf,
    Apollo strips
        Marsyas of his outer finery
            After winning the battle
                ...Of the bands
-
Flayings a-plenty on canvases  
    In my image search results
      ...With "happy little trees"
            And the Faun
                 Skinned to his knees
-

Soothing voice of Bob Ross plays
    on loop in my head

Some of the only peace that has come
    Of late

-
Happy-little-flayings
    Happy-little-monstrosities
-

The sky is darkened, the sun is hiding
    his face in skies over 'round the
        eastern edge...and the moon is
            refusing to shine her light.

-

I open my throat and try to
    say...anything
        
           To YOU
.
.
.
And back toward my bedroom I climb

To survive this last dreary winter
I hid inside my cell
I fed my eyes and ears false joy
To alleviate the swell

To pass this last lonesome winter
I hid inside my phone
And pushed the earbuds in so far
I never felt alone

To endure this last lonesome winter
I journeyed through my head
And it's almost like I jumped right past
The fear of being dead

To last through long lingering cold
I lit a little flame
And pulled the products of combustion
Up into my brain

To make it through it would've helped
If I had still been young
I had a small square paper door
I placed atop my tongue

To Last and First, now let me say,
Preferring Z's to A's,
I wish I didn't get caught up
Reviewing yesterdays

I long for the Omega
When we shall all be one
And I will catapult past Vega
And melt into the Son

To get through next year's winter
I'll need your guiding hand
Isolation didn't work
As well as I had planned

Though inner space was quite immense
I'll turn to face your gaze
And trip and traipse through forest dells
Where your beloved prays

My sweet lady, I’m off kilter,
Wooed by all your lovely charms,
Here’s some maca for your philter,
Need to have you in my arms

Want your loving legs around me,
Want your loving arms as well,
Have to say your curves astound me,
Got to make your sailor swell,

Want to voyage through your straits,
Lovely portal made of jade,
Let my tongue throw wide the gates,
And let the choicest love be made

Let me sing you lovely music,
Let me try to make you swoon,
Here’s my flesh (O please abuse it!),
While my eyes reflect the moon

Lover laughing lovely there,
Behind your smiling eyes so deep,
In my mental pictures fair,
Close my eyes to try to keep,

Each new moment we’re entwined,
For each one seems to top the last,
Hold me close and expand my mind,
Draw me near, and hold me fast

My sweet lady, I’m off kilter,
Wooed by all your lovely charms,
Here’s some maca for your philter,
Need to have you in my arms

Want your loving legs around me,
Want your loving arms as well,
Have to say your curves astound me,
Got to make your “sailor” swell,

Want to voyage through your straits,
Lovely portal made of jade,
Let my tongue throw wide the gates,
And let the choicest love be made

Let me sing you lovely music,
Let me try to make you swoon,
Here’s my flesh (O please abuse it!),
While my eyes reflect the moon

Lover laughing lovely there,
Behind your smiling eyes so deep,
In my mental pictures fair,
Close my eyes to try to keep,

Each new moment we’re entwined,
For each one seems to top the last,
Hold me close and expand my mind,
Draw me near, and hold me fast