I deny god by the image he presents,
not existence.

You were
the biggest con
I ever pulled
but something happened
and in between that time
we were too deep in the charade
for me to be honest
and believable
at the same time
and I played into your score
teasingly
just to see who was better
two thieves
in love
and afraid
of each others powers
even though
we saw it all
from the beginning.

All that attracts us,
             repels us.
my only edge. .
is that I've given up the game.

Dont crucify me for the love
  I actually CAN get

Still pretending
and running with the best of them
but I tire of this listless act
Theres not much left of myself to lose
maybe If I choose to relinquish
what remains
I'll become someone new

I'm laying down my losing hand
I've held the cards way too long
I bet too much
on a long-shot
pockets in my heart empty
staring at the mismatched colors
and numbers
trying to make a pair
I could rarely keep
the queen of hearts stare
being just a jack of all trades
and going nowhere
I'm laying down my losing hand
and just may never play again.

We feel dead, but were not
and theres still time

I have actually changed
more than you know
so much, Im afraid
to let it show
I just can not help
that being with you
awakens old habits.

I have
to close my eyes
just to see you.

Im just as scared as you. . .

but
I'd
  do
it.

Have you ever spilled your heart
only to watch it be lapped up
by the tongues of rodents?
Have you ever bared your soul
only to be chastised
by the soulless?

Have you ever had a simple question
met with a blank stare
and awkward silence?
Have you ever felt all that you mention
falls on deaf ears
with violent defiance?

Have you ever been so alone
that the only person
you can speak to is yourself?
Have you ever been left on your own
as matters worsen
with no one else to help?

While engulfed in the crowd,
you against all around?

Are you too afraid to tell?

Think its a tall tale?

Then all is well.

You're still alive.

Experiencing the one of infinite views

from a universal being

A miracle in itself.

These wouldnt happen to be
  your black *******, would they?

I'll stay on edge
While you waste space
And air.

Maybe you were just
a pretty, pretty pistol
that caught my eye
and wanted to put in my mouth

Maybe I thought you were
a good way to die
Maybe I only loved you
because of the misery you caused
and maybe
I don't want that misery anymore

So let the barrel
burn my tongue of your taste
and the bullet
erase your thoughts from my brains
and if there was anything
you ever truly wanted of me

Maybe you can scrape what is left
from the walls

You have turned me
ON
   and
OFF
So many times
that one day soon
it just may break
from over use
and the effect you desire
may no longer work
when you flip it

My Spongebob Squarepants boxers
Scrunch up the sides of my legs
And the ***-*** hole won't close
So my junk rubs my zipper
But I can't bring myself to throw them out.

Maybe we feel lifeless
   because we strive to be sterile.

The only way
you could be seen
as a good person
is if
it was your perception alone
that changed the entire world.

Silly poets. .  
do you really think the ™ and ® symbol will save you?
the true artist
who wrote the great plays and poems
painted and played the immortal masterpieces
profited the second
it was available for all to . .

share
   observe
listen
experience
  feel

Protecting your work
for financial gain
with silly symbolism
of the status quo
only hinders the true wealth
it can present.

What can I possibly say
that I havent already
to change things ?
If there is something
I can portray
to alter the outcome
just tell me what it is
and I will speak it
Because as of now
saying everything
and saying nothing
produces the same exact results

The art of ignorance
  seems to be the most admired

You can fit the entire universe
inside of my heart

The time between laughter
is growing more distant
it's becoming harder
to force a smile
yet the tears fall so easily
I played the part of a clown
too long
too well
What love I still have to offer
goes  unwanted without return
As the years
Seem to grow shorter
Thinking the Gods must have
More hurt to offer
Considering their protection
Through this suicidal rampage
With failed attempts to drown
aquatic sorrows
Watching the vultures circle
my sun dried carcass
if there is something large enough
to fill this void
it certainly isn't within
my range of sight

We want to save the world
but yet we cant save ourselves
as our empathy is invested
in everything else

Mercilessly ignorant
living in a bubble
Tirelessly thought is spent
on insignificant struggles

We like to boast we're civilized
but we're not even close
living by deceit and lies
hurting those we love most

Always looking through the eyes
of those known to hate us
uprising in fantasizing
that war is going to save us

Sometimes we must accept
even the worst of ourselves
in order to find our best
in what the future may tell

If you remain being afraid
to look at yourself
you'll never see the big picture
anywhere else

The lengths I would go for you
surpass the ever expanding universe
The depths I would go
are longer than an eternal stroll
through the layers of hell
What I wouldnt give
despite the lack of what I actually have
The things I would do
outnumber all the things I wouldnt
considering the difficulty of multiplying by zero

I started to think
there was nothing more to break

Why does my worst poetry trend
while my best festers?

Still waiting
for a friend to show up with beer
because I ran out
and I'm too drunk to go get more

Still waiting
for Jesus to hit me in the head
with a frying pan
and tell me I'm wrong

Still waiting
to wake up
without a hangover
and smokers cough

Still waiting
on a paycheck that is livable
and people that are bearable
pigs might as well fly

Still waiting
for that woman to save me
by accepting my flaws
instead of trying to change them

Still waiting
to leave my mark
on a planet bombed to ****
with an overabundance of meaningless

Still waiting
for peace, love
and all that poppycock
while I hide in the trenches of my mind
awaiting messages from
a war torn heart

Still waiting. . .

to write that immortal poem

Historic sonnet

Eternal song

In the end. .
who will regret what
the longest?
After all . .
I am not keeping score, but
Women are known
to outlive men
by at least seven and a half years
not to include I'm older than you
by about that amount
or to mention
people are surprised
that I'm even still alive
and we both know
you were always stronger than me
to do just that
forget. .
let go. .
move on. .
Be alive, live, and even relive
Congrats, my love.
You've already won.
you carried any life I had left
for quite some time
anyway.
At least you are the only woman
I ever wanted to see
take a gain over me
Despite the fact that my tears also contain joy
unlike yours.

Instead of a teary exchange
with my weapon hand
trying to convince myself
that its time
I drank myself to sleep
in order to fight another day

If things were well enough
  I'd leave well enough alone

What happens
when you know
you've finally broke
and your subconscious
is just that good at pretending?

I have been taught
not to be
a permanent fixture.

It will show the gods
    I lived better than them.

The Romance rack
was a hundred
times larger than Poetry

Flowers whither in my hands
time pulverized to grains of sand
I make walls fall within my presence
I'll stomp your faith with no repentance

I take love and make it sour
Create eons within an hour
Any taste
I will make ash
Paint your life white
and laugh unabashed

Im the warden
who made sin
as matters worsen
inch by inch
I will miscreate these stints
with my Midas touch of ****

*******,
and read my poem
you impatient
little *****

Mike works at my liquor store down the street
I see him almost every day
in my stops on the way home from the shop
He has basically known me for most my life
back when I was buying sodas and candy
instead of cigarettes, and alcohol.
I can basically walk in and say "A fifth and a pack"
and he grabs my Crown Royal
and my Newports
I might as well just use "The Usual."
but he is always polite enough to ask
"What are we doing today Jeremy?"
knowing that I switch it up time to time
I've come to realize the routine
all too well
and just wish sodas and candy
still did it for me.

Just a bumbling bee
who purposely flies
into the same web
he managed to escape
time and time again
even if only
to gaze upon
the hourglass
of the black widow
who only wishes
to bleed him dry

You're only stabbing the corpse
Of something you already killed

I think light beer is for *******
that is all. . .

I am but a mote of dust
floating in the sunbeams
shining through the blinds
behind a locked window
that you refuse to open.

Taking necessities from many
to provide
luxuries
for the few

Back cracks from the weight of the world
Hide in your cell for fear of the light
Donning shackles you could remove any time
Nurturing the same demons you fight
but its what you know so you wont break the binds
Love letters are still left unfurled
Train of thought caught on a one way track
A collision course without any remorse
Speed gaining fast
Even though you know theres still turning back
Going nowhere although you've already been there
surveying war torn scenery with a blank empty stare

I will never
write a poem
with the curves
and grace
that you possess. . .
or the thoughts and feelings
you instill on me
How can a man
describe or imagine
a woman who surpasses
the girl of his dreams?

There are fates worse than death,
like living through it.

I like to pretend
I no longer have a heart
but sometimes
I pull it out of the bottom drawer
and speak to it
just so it knows
that I know
its still there
and apologize
for all I have poured over it
to bury its existence
and all the times
I gave it to the undeserving
I make promises
that it will be freed again
someday
then safely tuck it away
and sneak back out of her house.

I only hate you
because loving you
does no good