I've been sent enough
by insecure women
attempting to garner my attention
by exposing their body
which means they don't realize
that a picture does not bear their soul
and I never was that type of man
to be stimulated by the superficial
I have gigabytes worth
In a folder I care not to look at
way back
in my hard drives cache
yet cant delete
luckily for them
I'm not the type of creep
to share them with the world
but you,
you are special enough to me
that I don't need a visual reminder
when its burnt into my synapses
for as long as I live.

You know I tried to reach you
but you just slapped away my hand
Why implore or beseech you
when you don't want to understand

You're too afraid to face me
as I give chase haphazardly
hoping to retain validity
vividly in your memory

Like trying to wake the dead
sleeping beauty in her bed
poisonous kisses in my head
the bitten apple of my disgust

Thats all you ever want
(Wake up)
  thats all you ever wanted
  (Wake up)
   thats all you ever need
     (Wake up)
     thats all you ever needed

Remain at rest my dear
leave my pleas to fall on deaf ears
Stay comatose my precious
restless attempts to rescue us.

I'm not the boogeyman
I'm not the one to run from
I have done all I can
to quell all that you succumbed

All I can do is dream
I only can remember
and think of what could have been
before it was dismembered

I have no pack
I have no mate
these howls I make
for my own sake

I do not hunt
I do not prowl
that which I want
lost in tomorrow

This wilderness
I roam alone
nothing to miss
nowhere is home

So I deleted the conversation
and
  just
kept
  on
drinking

I just want to sleep
but I fear that it may reap
the memories
that I still keep
I buried deep beneath

Being the kind of girl
that can get anything she wants
I would already have known
  if you truly wanted me.
and if that had been the case
I would already be.
yet here we are
after all these years
a cyclical tragedy

Just remember
everyone loves conflict
in one way or another

Sometimes I wonder,
  if that was love in her eyes.

You salt the wound
you bend it back until it breaks
You just consume
despite the way that it may taste

Caught in the bloom
of creations which are not your make
You walk the plank
veiled steps towards what they say and think


Don't even blink
as we push the planet to its brink
Cohorts of war
without reason to what you wage them for

You just forsake
a sedated apathetic state
You choose to pray
to a non-responsive deity

Repeat after me
   I am free

As death nods his head reassuringly

I curbed my drinking
cleaned up most of my filth
how uninspiring

Silly me, stupid me
let my heart lead so easily
Silly me, stupid me
my mind and eyes too blind to see
Silly me, stupid me
to believe love is a two-way street
Silly me, stupid me
this endless search that I still seek

As I stared at the *****
stainless steel toilet
shining under neon light
from a concrete slab
in my small enclosure
I thought to myself. .

There is a poem in there somewhere.

I really need to tie one on
so you should buy my book
Mind Afire, on Amazon
go and take a look.

I only saw the light
after I dug myself up
from the thousands of years
of superstitions
we are buried underneath
and left their indecisive
claims of truth
unearthed

Memory lane*
always seems
to be full of *road blocks

I would rather
drown alone
fighting the dangers
of the deep end

Than seek acceptance
among the numerous
safely wading
on the side of the shallow

Time may heal all wounds
    but scars are a reminder

The difference
between your failed relationships
and mine
Is that I am willing
to admit the fault being my own
instead of blaming
the opposite gender
in its entirety.

I have a one track mind
and its in the gutter
With whiskey breath
and a bit of a stutter
I type at a desk
where the beer bottles clutter
the scattered ashes
spins and dashes
in the winds of the summer
Theres a stain on my bed spread
from the girl last week
I should probably wash it
its where I rest my cheek
I dont own much
but amps and guitars
with a whole lot of memories, debris, and scars
and wouldn't trade one bit
to become who you are.

This growing listless
has left me catatonic
just searching for some substance
Another way to numb this

Too long I've feigned uncaring
this act has left me wary
and it has took its toll
trying to collect my bearings

Searching for some control
Trying to stay unknown
cant show this tattered soul
cant know that I'm not whole

A feeble search for beauty
being blinded by the ugly
truth staring in my face
Trying to escape this rat race

A burnt tongue, with a bitter taste
of my own medicine
all Ive done, and laid to waste
Still I take it time and time again

Its not that I dont learn
its just all that I know
in line waiting my turn
to discover what awaits below.

At the end and trying to begin
seeking out a way to make amends
veiled behind a smile thats pretend
questioning just who is foe and friend
When theres nothing left for them to steal
you quickly find out which allies are real
I'm opening the door once again
no longer afraid of who may come in
even if its just to bring more hurt
at least I would feel something
and at this point, anything will work.
I want to be the one that someone needs
instead of just another luxury
Even though I don't have all the parts
I'm rebuilding whats left of my heart
Maybe the picture can still be seen
even with some puzzle pieces missing

but I wont know for sure,
  until I start overhauling
regardless what I've been discarding
there is still a reason to believe

That even the empty can be complete

I used to carry writings
for her in my wallet
but now it is as devoid of poetry
as it is of money.

Of course there's other muses. .

You
    are
just
    my
favorite.

These songs
  *These poems
    These words
       These odes

I once believed
They made me a hopeless romantic,
But now I feel like a vicious predator
How they bite
with sharp venomous teeth
Instead of caress
With warm soft hands.

I'm through with disappointment
and heartache
This inferiority
is a complex
I wish to dismantle
casting the rubble
of defeat
into the sea
Should I return to anger,
or do I continue to seek happiness
between these sullen lines?
No matter the emotion
confusion always seems
to have a part to play
on this empty stage

After seeing you
for the first time
in a long time,
You certainly didn't hold up
as well in reality
as you did in my mind
and I don't know whether
to be saddened
or relieved. . . .
but it will
help to secede
from the memories
that have been
tearing at me
Even though
there is part of my being
wishing I didnt give in
after seeing
where I said you belong
has done to you.
Even the most elegant bird
loses her feathers
when encaged for too long
And I no longer wish
to peek through the wire.

I'd like
to tickle your belly button
from the inside.

I listened to Bukowski
Found what I love,
And let it **** me
But what do I do now?
I still seem to be breathing

In a blurry haze
I drunk dialed god
of course he didn't answer
and his voicemail box was full
I'm just another with incoherent ramblings
of his abandonment
that goes unheard
No sappy admissions
of missing how he used to make me feel
or how empty I have been
since his departure
Even his own son
felt forsaken by him
So I suppose I shouldnt expect any better
Now I remember
why I don't call him anymore

Sometimes
I agree with your poem
Doesn't mean I like. . .

Fate has its ways with you
I cant deny
Where some have dumb luck
others easily die

You could **** an elephant
with all that Ive done
Some summon death
only to become numb

I believe in destiny
it gave me the strength
to accept easily
the throes thrown my way

It
  would
help

if. . .

I could tell,
  these
conversations

*with. . .

I don't use punctuation,
I'll have you know
only in situations
I wish to change flow.

As long as its understood
I pay no mind
unless it does good
for whats in between the lines.

I don't care if its wrong,
or even if its right.
I just want not to conform
the way that I write.

Despite how forlorn
it is to your eyes.

At times
I think to myself
that I would give anything
just to talk to you
one more time
but then I realize
I already said
everything
I wanted to say
and at that point
I would just be repeating myself
So maybe
its really not the words
I wish to reaffirm
Its the memories
that I only wish to recreate
in my present.
Either way,
there is nothing left
for me to regret
except
my punctured pride
which I already swallowed
So many moons ago

Love is what remains
When passion
burns all else away.

Those beautiful women
  who thought my poetry was about them.

Tied to the stake
for leaving so many hearts
bewitched
She appears strong
as she glides past the labels
and finger pointing
knowing the mockery
is by those afraid
to look into themselves
but I know
of the tears
that fall behind closed doors
Which are never enough
to squelch
the fires they light

I have grown tired
of
screaming
into
these
deaf
  Ears

I was raised into the heavens
only to be lowered into hell
by silver tongues
flapping behind sharpened teeth
With the backbones
of snakes
slithering through
my psyche
gladhands holding daggers
coated with the poison
I have become accustomed to
leaving what is behind me
unguarded
Constantly shaken awake
from these dreams
as I lie in bed
contemplating which side
is the wrong one
to rise from
atrophy
begins to take hold

I have played too long
   all
my
toys
    are
broken

These tired eyes are desensitized
from every lie I've been supplied
but I watched the tides
and rode the winds
yet still cant pretend
I wouldn't do it again.

Even if lose or win
      Even if sink or swim

For a short, and glorious time
  The world was yours
     The world was mine
Until we started drawing lines
beyond what we could define.
Waiting for stars to align
in hopes to see some kind of sign.

My Passion
which once burned bright as the sun
extinguished and collapsed on itself
becoming the black hole
that created this void.

Some men are so focused
on the act of ***
ridiculously eager to get into it
they forget to relish
the moments beforehand
and after
focused on the getting
more than the giving
Which is where
I would like to think I differ
I like to watch a woman after
as she lies there
in her lovely silhouette
glistening
gently quivering
breathing heavily
eyes closed
as if in some strange
*** coma
or spell
Sometimes a job well done
is in the confirmation
and reward
in itself
Or maybe it just makes me feel
I can look beyond
myself.

When I die
  the angel will probably have your face.

There is so lucky
  because thats where you are
While I am over here
  just wishing on stars.

Thanks guys, finally hit 1k hearts without too much social engineering. lol

but i must say. . .

HP has disappointed me as of late. . . asking for donations (which I have paid being a long time user) but I wonder how much of that goes to this new #hastag system. . . I liked this site because it was plain, easy to use, and the poetry spoke for itself without all these lousy social networking features everyone is using.  I liked that it wasnt a popularity contest where the work could speak for itself. . . It doesnt feel that way anymore. Sorry, maybe some of you like it, but the one place that was once my favorite avenue to share my work, may soon no longer be.

Your name belongs to others
but they don't have the same taste
or the way I felt my heart drop
every time I saw your face

Still I hold no contempt
nor see it as a waste
We were just out of place
running at too quick a pace

All the secrets I still keep
vividly invade my dreams
like all the times I watched you sleep
opening your eyes to me

Wishing it was meant to be,
did you even see?

We didn't fool each other
we only fooled ourselves
the risks became a bother
but still they paid off well

The stories we could tell
of both our carried hells
The images we bore
hiding the sides we feared to tell

Its still worth all the hurt
to keep the memories
no one else in this universe
will share the same as these

So thanks again
everything ends
We would be caught too tightly
within the web we spin

So Thanks again
everything ends
even with the same conclusion
I'd do it lose or win.

Thanks again.

I tire of this twisted game
where everything remains unchanged
With all I do just to get through to you

All the things you used to say
that your actions did not portray
and like a fool, I averted my gaze

No longer love your heartbreak
No longer love this mistake

Its time to make new memories
instead of dwelling within these

Even though you told me it was real

No longer love the heartache
or the way you forsake
all the love I gave away
without return, without display

A molten mess,
     this flesh once made of steel.

Some souls were built for torture
    still I see beauty