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 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
avery
His mind, a field to which I long to run across
His heart, a ball that I wish I could have the strength to hold
His chest, a bed that on I wish to sleep
My face, the obvious signals I’m trying to give
My heart, he’s grabbed hold of for way too long
My name, that I wish for him to call
 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
avery
Hello!
 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
avery
Whats wrong
Are you ok
Talk to me
What’s going on
Why are you sad
Why aren’t you being yourself
why are you crying
Stop crying
What are you saying
I’m sorry
Stop
What’s wrong
..
why don’t you already know
It’s shallow but I like it
 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
Pyrrha
I wonder what it feels like
To hold the world in your hands
And let it slip from your grasp

Suppose I'll never know
 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
avery
recall
 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
avery
i wasn’t able to recall
what your kiss tasted like
until after you decided you didn’t want me
it taste like heartbreak
and peace
and fear
i wasn’t able to recall
the look on your face that day
until you never looked me in the eye again
it looks like joy
and smirky playfulness
and fun
i wish you knew
how you made me feel
and how i cry
every time i think of your kiss
 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
avery
for the first time in
a season
i feel as if i can
feel alright
i am hopefully
more content
than in the past winter
 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
Audrey
Hello, it’s me again
It’s been awhile since I’ve heard from you
I’m sorry I said what I did
It’s just I don’t like to leave straight away
I liked your hands all over me
I wish you’d call me back
I’m sorry I don’t do one night stands
Do you like her more than me?
Is she what you fantasize about?
Give me just one more chance
I promise...you’ll like it


Hey.
This is important I need you to call me back
I just took a test...
I’m pregnant
Please call me back

Why do you always send me to voicemail?
Your daughter needs you in her life.
She’s about to start kindergarten.
I’m going to put her on the phone
Hi daddy!
I miss you
Can I come over this weekend?
I promise I won’t spill juice on your girlfriends carpet again
Just give me a chance!
I love you

Hi dad, it’s me
It’s my 16th birthday.
Are you not going to come?
I just wish you’d come around more
I know things aren’t the way you planned but I’m your daughter too
I just wish you’d treat me like your other one
Anyways I just wanted to remind you it was my birthday.
Call mom back so she stops freaking out


It’s your daughter’s graduation.
Are you not even going to show?
**** you!
For 18 years I’ve begged you to just stick around for the main parts
Why can’t you remember you have another daughter!


Hello dad.
I’m 28 now
I have my dream job
I’m engaged
And guess what?
I didn’t need anything from you.
I’ve waited around my whole life thinking I needed your validation
Turns out I can do it on my own
I’ve become so successful
And I’m proud to say I’m very strong
You taught me nothing
But I didn’t need to learn from you
I’m an amazing teacher
I’m stronger than you’ll ever be
This is the last time you’ll hear from me.
 Mar 2020 Bobby Dodds
sked
I was working at the local McDonald's
In the afternoon and was
Told by my boss that since I disappointed him
On not making the fries salty enough
That he would put me on the midnight shift

So there I am
Taking orders in my little cubicle
Hearing the headphone
BEEP BEEP
"Yes I'd like a whopper, crap wrong place"
*******
I take orders and then work the dishes
Jorge calls out to me whether or not
I took off the pickle in the order by mistake

Night shift comes and the air feels cool
Through the drive-thru window
I feel the night time air caressing
And cooling me
My ******* erecting
Exalting a scent that reminds me of perfume

Afterward I have to take the trash out

As I go out the air hits me
Tackles me as I transfer myself
From inside to outside
I feel the same sensations but yet I hear music
DaDAdadumDAdadumDADADAAAADaDAdum
And I feel the sudden change to fill me with warmth

I go back inside and one of my fellow employees
Comes to me
"You want to see something cool?"
We walk to the back of the store
Where all the fry boxes are kept
And there is a whole in the ground

"I dug this hole and I think I found Mother Earth's ******."
I give him a puzzled look
"Looked, I ****** it earlier man and I've got to tell you.  It's a wild ride."
I begin to walk away
"Look man, these people around here call me The Master man.  I'm your guide through all this.  I'm the closest thing to the Alpha.... Or was it the Omega?....  **** man, I don't know just stick your **** in there."  

I walked away from it
But as I looked at the hole
I felt a certain allure to it
Drawing me in like a Siren calling
Perhaps it could be my Muse
My reason for being
Am I meant to do this?
An attempt at procreating with Earth?
It'd make sense since The Master had made
With love this handcrafted ******

I couldn't resist any longer
Temptation being to strong
I knelt down and inserted myself
Into the hole

At first I felt nothing but a scraping sensation
The sharp rubble of the ground grinding against my flesh
But then it became wet and calm
Almost soothing
I closed my eyes and then I saw her
Earth
Coming toward me and pressing my head against her breast
Calming allowing me to **** the ******
Which let me take in the sensation
Running through me as rapidly as a river
I heard the streams
Calming
The dirt was wet and I could put my feet in it
The wind blew with a lush autumn air
That was when I knew it was almost over
And I soon as the white of winter came
So did I

I removed myself and no longer knew what to think
I went home and slept and mulled over what happened
Over a pancake brunch
With chicken on the side
They go better together than you think
based on the essay in the notes below
which was forwarded to me by Liz Balise
<>
all poems and their accompaniment sauces commence with onions,
that start by fouling the air, bringing forth only unrestricted tearings,
but then...

the slow cooking elicits the sugars hid within,
the unpleasant odor, refined into something
minted new sweet and savory.

so too, the poem must simmer, slow cooked,
harmonizing the caramelizing,
even if some ingredients
claim the first born birthright of the eldest first essential,
despite the collective harmonizing.

the ripened color of the blood red tomatoes,
the ruddy cheery sanguinity of
certain words in each poem,
are the coloration of its entirety -
the ones your never forgive for never letting you forget them!

what matters not but how, the daring to substitute the new how,
how you chef see it and color it with the crazy way how
you beckon us over one by one to the big *** for a tasting
accepting critiques and suggestions, a thousand pinches
of your salty sweet essences.

and the recipe is dog stained and pointy corner ear-edged,
cause you cannot exactly write it down, and you bend the corner
for every substitution and variation,
cause every poem
made to taste the how of us,
each one a subtle different.

everyone understands metaphor,
even the society of the reticent ones in the back row,
just say the “trapdoor of depression” and they’ll nod knowingly,
so say to them a poem is a metaphor for you,
and spaghetti sauce is how you see, recreate in words,
how you need to add an ingredient of yourself
to this one,
a word, a phrase, becomes you,
becoming you in it,
in you,
you in it are both poet and poem,

a simmering new and different

————————————————————————-


A Well Written Essay— The Spaghetti Sauce Method

As a teacher and a learner, I have always wanted to see the "nuts and bolts" of everything. Yes, it slows the process down, but the learning is more complete, and a person becomes capable of making endless connections of understanding, branching to other  creative possibilities. Writing like dancing, and all that is worth learning, deserves all of the pieces and steps of the process.
I remember telling my students every year that grammar could indeed be a dry bone, but necessary in the process of good communication. Told them that I would teach writing by the "spaghetti sauce method" (Visualize their perplexed faces here.). "A well-written essay should be like a really good sauce-- smooth, fine textured, with a complete harmony of meat, sweet, tomato, and seasonings-- not one overpowering the others, but all in marvelous union of great flavor and aroma."
I continued, giving the example of my mother's
(God rest 'er) Irish spaghetti sauce" as a contrast. "Mama would throw in onions, peppers (if she had ‘em), hamburger, salt and pepper, fry it all in corn oil, and mix with two cans of plain tomato sauce. This was all okay with me," I went on,“ till I experienced the epiphany of garlic, basil, oregano, pork neck bones and a cup of wine; in the kitchen of an Italian neighbor, who walked me through the process and ingredients of real Italian sauce that was simmered for hours."
I continued to nudge them with the comparison: "Excellent writing is more than talent and passion, otherwise a tirade of curses, knotted ideas, and copied paragraphs of someone else would always do.” "No," I went on, "It is clear thought, captured, slow-cooked in the labor of mind and understanding— and in good time, expressed, in a way that others can comprehend -- with great attention to the cardinal rule: It is not as much WHAT you say-- but HOW you say it."
Through the year I focused on one or two aspects of better writing at a time for each paper. It was an uphill battle, often teaching against the mediocrity of the expectations in the PA State Standards of Assessment. It would add ten hours to my work week to grade and comment on a set of a 115 papers.
Someone once told me that: "Only the people who care about you are the ones who can hear you when you're quiet."
Everyone speaks a silent language and it's rare to find someone who speaks yours.....
"is just a piece of charcoal that handled stress exceptionally well."
drafts..
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