BMG - Hello Poetry

BMG Jun 2018

Sometimes I feel like this is really it.
Like there will never be a “better day”.
I find myself thinking
Every possibility of happiness and opportunity to smile again is gone
That’s just not true though
I have to remind myself
There’s always another day,
Always a way to make up for the bad things we have done
We can always try and prove to the people we have hurt, that we won’t do it again.
We can always apologize.
There is always someone who loves you. Someone out there fighting for you
Fighting for you to do or be better
Even when you feel like
You are completely alone.
Even when you think nothing good could ever come your way again
Like you’re just out there just floating along, waiting for the next heartbreak.
There is always something better coming.

BMG Jun 2018

10:49

I just don’t understand
how it can still hurt so badly.
How my heart can still be broken.
It’s like all the air leaves the room
All over again
I find myself alone
I don’t see how I can possibly
survive it.
It’s not all the time
Tomorrow I won’t feel like this.
But I know it won’t be the last time
I know I’ll sink down low again.
I wish I could rid my soul of him,
of ever loving him,
of ever being loved by him,
of ever knowing him.

BMG Jun 2018

The Wisest Man I Know.

My Dad use to tell me
Back when I was younger
He said
“Baby Girl you have a travelers soul
trapped inside a body
with a settlers heart.”

All those years ago
I didn't understand him
I was sure I'd never settle
for anything, for anyone

Then I grew up
The older I got
The more meaning I found in his words.
Those words
Constantly coursing through my veins

You see
My Dad always saw
the constant struggle inside me.
My mind was always wanting to wonder
my soul needed to be free,
Yet, my heart, it knew better.

He said my heart
Knew where I belonged
Somewhere within me
It aways knew my home would be
where I was bound.

Happy father’s day.

BMG Jun 2018

The Tide

Your tide rolled in
Your tide rolled out
The best way to describe us,
Our love,
To define what happened
Is to compare it to the ocean,
My sanity the sand.
Your love became a tide to me.

Consistent in only one way,
The way it never
Never ceased to exist
Yet inconsistently
Constantly changing.
Your waves cascaded over me,
across my shoreline
swallowing every bit
of who I once was.

All the while I was gasping for air.
Your water filling every crack
Your tide rolled in
Your tide rolled out
Each passing time
disturbing my sand
My sanity
Taking away the smallest pieces
Every time the tide rolled in
Until finally
Nothing that was once there
Still existed.

#tide #water #heart #emotional #past #love

BMG Jun 2018

Elements

Earth
The wolf
Hidden in the dark forrest
Gracefully walked up to me
“I can smell your hands bleeding.”
I told him regardless of the pain, I had to hold on.
He said no, you need to let go.

Water
The stingray
At the deepest point of the ocean
Swam right up to me
“I can feel how tense you are.”
I told her change is too hard
She said I should accept it, move through it.

Fire
The Elephant
Standing strong in the worst of storms
Shaking the ground as he came near
“I can see the fear in your eyes.”
I told him it’s not easy being jaded
He said I needed to open my heart, trust again.

Air
The Nightingale
Singing loudly in the blackest of night
He flew straight towards me
“Why can’t I hear your heart through your words.”
I told her the heart is naive
She said better the heart than the mind, let me hear your soul.

Spirit
The Sea Serpent
In stories, tails from long ago
Slithered up to my feet from the blue water
“I can taste your pain on my tongue.”
I told him about my past
He said emotional wounds can heal, you just have to believe there is more out there.

I recently did a tarot reading for each element- this is what I learned.

#tarot #animals #spirit #truth

BMG Jun 2018

Just Like Water

I failed today
Like the waves
trying to wash the dirt away.
I decided not to think of you
I almost made it
But you were stronger
I failed today
The undertow took over
Pulled me back into your memory
You seeped into my skin
Drowning in who we use to be
I failed today
I will try again
Try to stay a float
Tomorrow.

BMG Jun 2018

The Battle Within

The brilliant boy
He's in this limbo
Almost living
Completely dying.
It's all so poetic really.
Killing everyone
everything for something;
for the love you
desperately think you can get back
Even though you are the cause
of every single thing
that has happened
of everything that you have lost.
You made the decisions that
Got you here
Now it’s war
Mayhem
Fighting everyone around you
but truthfully fighting yourself.

"It's always been his job to fix this."

That’s what you convince yourself
Your job to make things right
You believe that murdering it all
will end it.

He thinks it’ll take him
completely back
to the beginning.
It won’t
You can’t
You are so far gone
You’re killing yourself
Brilliant.

I wrote this about a boy I use to know. He always believed he was responsible for making everything better, even if he was making it worse. Strubborn, he would never walk away. He’d **** himself and everyone around him to make a point. Any point at all.