The love you let go...
The love you let slip by...
The love that you lost...
The love that tore you apart...
The love that broke you down...
The love that taught you something...
The love that showed you.
Showed you when to let go...
When to be free...
Within her arms...
The love that ruined you...
The love that used you...
That love that burned you...
That love that ****** you dry...
That love that taught you right from wrong...
The love that broke you down...
Down so far, that your ladder is broken to the top...
Your confidence...
Broken...
Climb as you will... or as you may...
But the ladder, us still battered and broken, just as your heart and your life is...
You feel the brokenness, in everyone you see...
Nothing can save them...
Just as you...
Can't save yourself...
Try and try and try as you must...
It's all worthless...
Just as I am...
Just as you are...
Just as we all are...
Humanity is a Cancer...
There's no cure...
But extinction... ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

It all ends.
Just like that drink you sip.
Just like that cigarette you smoke.
As slow as you can.
Just to savor the flavour.
But that will end.
As it all will.
The reason of it all.
Is still lost in the sauce.
Just like all of us.
The sauce that's slowly dissipating.
The taste that's gone sour.
Instead of spicy.
It all ends.
Your palate adjust.
Your life adjust.
Your family adjust.
We all conform to the idea of the way.
Were all sick.
Were all dying.
Were all headed towards our end.
Some quicker than others.
But etheir ways it's still the same pace.
The fight we fight is all for nothing.
But it's something we all feel we need.
Regardless the need we feel to fight.
It's an illusion.
That's all we are, that's all life is.
An illusion.
Dream, as you will, dream as you will.
Nothing ever matters in the end.
The mistakes you make.
The wrongs you've done
The rights.
The remorse.
The love.
Nothing matters, it all ends sometime.
So why care in the begining.  
Who knows why we try.
Or why we care.
It all ends....

In the darkest of nights
Your body pressed against the wall
Hands held high above
Let me slide my hands down your body
To feel every sensual curve
Let me kiss you as if it were the last time I were able
Sliding my tongue softly against your lips
Let me kiss your neck softly in this night
Sliding my tongue up your neck upon your ear
Down further to explore your body. Tearing off one piece of clothing as a am to uncover what my tongue seeks Watch me as I kiss down your bare body
Watch me as I spread your legs and slide between.
Watch me tear your underwear off
Let me slide my velvet tongue
Watch me explore your insides
Until I find the path that brings you to your limitations
Watch me climb up your body kissing every inch with wet lips
Kiss me so you taste what your inner being is
Open your legs and wrap them around my waist
Pull me closer so our bodies may collide
Pull me deeper so I may further explore your inner being
My hips bucking
Yours following in motion
This pleasure we share
In my life's fantasy.

The morning funk I always feel.
Early in the a.m.
As soon as my eyes open.
As soon as I hear that alarm.
The alarm that will ring.
On and on and on.
For the rest of my ******* life.
Friday's funk.
I'll try again tomorrow.

Having Depression is like finding out that mermaids are real
It doesn’t make sense to you until you’re getting dragged to the bottom of the ocean
And then you think
Oh
That’s what this is
And I’m drowning now,
That’s just……… great
And eventually, with your last vestiges of breath left
You float back to the surface
And you’re fine.
And that’s it.
Mermaids stop existing again.
Because you never actually saw what grabbed you
You only felt the claws around your leg
The cold, clammy hands tugging
With a force that you could never fight against
But you never saw her
So it was all a dream
Right?
And it happens again and again
You are drowning again and again
Until the water begins to feel like home
And the only thing reminding you that you are alive
Is the burning in your lungs
And when everything you had balanced so very carefully starts falling
Off the shelves of your life
When your “mild” depression starts deciding it wants to be more
When being alone makes you feel dead inside
And when losing your cool for one ******* second makes you contemplate your own demise
When do you admit to yourself that you are slipping
You are sinking and just because you can slow your descent
Does not mean that you’re not still drowning
And at the end of the day just because it took you longer to get there this time
Doesn’t mean you aren’t still lying on the ocean floor
Devoid of light and sound
And if you had just climbed onto that now distant boat and sailed away
You’d be fine.
But climbing was too hard
And sinking is so much easier
And you’re scared that if you reach out
Your hands will feel clammy and cold
As they wrap around your friends throats
And drag them down with you
And you would rather rot at the bottom of an endless sea
Than let that happen
So you lie in darkness and wait
For a sound
The singular resounding sound
Of failure
And you slowly float back to the surface
Take a deep breath
And you’re fine.
Because mermaids aren’t real
It’s all in your head

As I sit and watch the people stroll.
In and out.
Seeing their pain from a hard day.
Slowly roll away as they come out.
Bottle in hand.
Finally, something to ease the pain.
Finally, something to ease the pain.
Something that kills from the inside.
Just like they want.
Poison and **** the inside.
So that the body will no longer function.
So that they no longer care to fight.
No longer care at all.
Except for the bottle, swinging in hand.
I need to break free before I swell.
Like the hands of a diabetic.
Like the stomach of a hungry child.
I need to break free before I myself am swimming in the well with the rest of then in hell....