Today is Christmas, though we celebrated it yesterday.
Today I am lonely, though I knew it yesterday.

In the event you feel tempest tossed
And life's not worth the cost
In the event your words are at a loss
And you begin to think all is lost

In the event you can not comprehend
And question, "Will this ever end?"
In the event you lose your closest friend
And your scars just don't seem to mend

In the event you breathe your last
And fail to accept whats past
In the event your hopes are dashed
And despair is all too vast

Do not any longer foolishly prolong
To seek where it is you truly belong
Instead, sing in life a joyous song
You'll find your troubles can't stay for long

When at last you've reached zen
Know it is only and only then
That no word of tongue or pen
Can ever again cause this happiness to end.

I set alarms in the morning
So that I can get in more words
With the version of you
That isn't with him

It is in the empty, open air between your words
That momentarily lingers a half-thought
"I wouldn't mind sharing silence with you"
But I don't know if you feel the same
And so I do

Joy died today.
That was the name of my grandma
- Is the name of my grandma
I'm not sure which tense to use

Her name, a homemade bread, sticks sweet to the tongue

Her personality, an open palmed hug to the child's name she cant remember anymore.

Her life, a monument to what it means to be kind and to be good

She does not own her name anymore

It has been given to the warm bread
It has been gifted to grandchildren
It has been remembered by those who remain

It has been remembered

Joy still lives, just, in other ways.

I would follow you to the ends of the earth
Mostly because I have no choice

I would drape unapologetic in the dark of the dance floor as you held your first taste of testosterone

That clammy hand costume with buttons too big to blame your fumbles on anything else

I would soak your sunlight and take none for myself, growing as big, and tall, and brave as you do

Mother said milk makes for strong bones
Strong bones make for easy outlines, like, look at me
Take my picture and remember you left a mark

I got the cricket ticks and lip licks.
The toe taps, arms stretch, feelin' sick.

Shaking leaves from the spine, butterflies.
Figure skatin', occipital, barely making eyes.

Shortsighted. A quick flick assessment.
First contact: Human. Nervous. Got the scent.

Quick quips. Heartbeat backflips. Got a smile.
Keys out, locked in. Gonna be here a while.

Knots released, check the shoes, still tied.
Second contact: Side-eyed. Open sky wide.

Comfortable. Swappin' pictures, open air.
This here is base camp. Light the flare.

Light retreating. Sun is dipping.
Soda empty, but still sipping.

Steady handed, still footed, defiant
Listen for the cricket ticks,

silent.

Evening skies trickle out the tailpipes of the cars navigating freeways
Painting the air in deepening hues of curiosity made color

What if I just keep driving?
How far will I make it?

Night slips in the back door, as Day exits the front
I can not see beyond a hundred feet
I do not remember the next curve of road
I am not sure where I am going

But do I need to be?

Promise me you'll get help, okay?

Should your blood ever boil within you
Should the heat leave your extremities
Should your breathing become quickened
Should a nervous sweat bead your face

Should you struggle to get through
Should you stand before Hades
Should you try and fail to defend
Should you feel a disgrace

Promise me you'll get help, okay?

Isn't love just a merry-go-round?
That old carnival staple in the center of the lot
Where the operator packs on too many people, turns it up too fast, and then gets mad when you throw up on the ride?
Every time you see one, its comprised of little kids and old people
She gets to ride the pony, because ponies are for girls
You get to ride the bear, because she took the pony
Both of you agree to take it slow at first
Take in all the flashing lights and the deep fried aroma
Until one of you decides your arms don't need to stay in your vehicle anymore
Two celestial bodies pulled closer together by that unseen thing called gravity
The world spins faster when you're with them
Time moves quicker when you're together
If time travel were possible this must be how its done
But sooner or later it becomes less merry, and more go-round
Round and round it goes, when it stops, nobody knows

In the north there is a man who screams when the waters sing
For he once came cross the banshee of the seaside spring

And in that failing light saw wrapped her pallid strands
Round the whole of her one and sallow pointed hand

To the trunk-grown sword and verdant surcoat 'tween
A phantom defiler, a hanged man, the crime unseen

She sullen moved to mournful wail, deep of soul
But found no purchase in mortal air to extol

For where once was this sad shadow's throat
A cruel sentence had some former blade wrote

In a sick and seeping horror the man did freeze
As the banshee descended towards the trees

At length the water sprang from earth again
His movement restored, bloods color to skin

The greatest terror he recalled in lonesome woe
Is of the dead woman forced to her silent sorrow

Wood older than me
How am I to burn the tree
That did bring me here?

You have no power
Over how I feel today
I won't let you win

I write that this, my illusory ink,
May provide context to chaos and form to fact
That you might remember in the crescent
What I said under the full

As I stand in the shower, shampoo in my hand, I think to myself. If Life and Death were people, would they be friends, enemies, or lovers?

For surely they must be acquainted, having both been present in the first touch of the last second space had to be alone.

Or perhaps it is that same proximity which stills the air between what is given and what must, eventually, be taken back.

Even yet, they may find romance in the reality that impermanence and beauty share the same fleeting tide.

And as I stand in the shower, shampoo in my hand, I realize they are but one movement of the same force which removes and renews.

I feel this first touch somewhere in my head and shoulders.

                       ʙᴇ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ, ɪ ʜᴀᴠᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ʏᴇᴛ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʏᴏᴜ
                       ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ ɪꜱ ᴡᴏʀᴋ ᴇʟꜱᴇᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ɪ ᴍᴜꜱᴛ ᴅᴏ
                       ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ ꜱᴏᴍᴇ ʏᴏɴᴅᴇʀ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ɪ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ
                       ɪ ᴡɪʟʟ ʀᴇꜱᴛᴏʀᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴇʀɢʏ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇꜰʀᴏᴍ
                       ɪ ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴇᴀꜱᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇʟᴅᴇʀ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ
                       ʙᴜᴛ ʟᴇᴛ ᴀɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ'ꜱ ʙᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛ

I don't say things that I don't mean
And I don't mean many things
So I don't say much

When comes the chance to serve in grace
And complacency shows it's familiar face
The battle begins, the naturally selfish man
I am busy, I am tired, and, I have other plans
Theres but a single thing to think to win
Remember, there is still room in the inn
Often waves the tides and times of life
To wade and wait through seasons of strife
For the mercy of the passerby to see
Today it is you, and tomorrow it is me

Green-blue oxygen bubbles up
From the depths of your warm waters
Spilling over into white-capped waves
In the midst of your sunrise smile
Ebbing in, out and in again
As the spray salts your black sand shores

I make poor life choices and get upset at the results
My life is just something that happens to me
The comforting cowardice in removing my agency
I blame all others but myself
And wonder why things don't get better
I made my bed
Now I must lie awake in it

Sponge moss clings to rock
A young jungle to itself
It is here for now

Chance
Chat
Click
Communicate
Confess
Confirm
Celebrate
Coast
Conflict
Closure (?)

Alpine autumn stream
Erosion's intervention
Before human hands

Streaming lazily
With no real place to get to
Water's gravity

Dead branch, lively tree
Old green gives way to yellow
The cycle anew

The question comes again
Overcast, the clear abstain
A desire to doubt the strain
Clouds without the mercy of rain