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 Nov 2016 Austen girl
Quettevio
tell them about our first meeting and how you told me i had you at hello. tell them that you saw the wall surrounding me and how I foolishly let you in. tell them about the meetings between traffic lights and wrapped sandwiches. tell them about how I held onto you like I’ve never seen hope before. tell them i used to call you home. tell them you were once every story in my head.

tell them how you were always my first when i was only your second best. tell them how you broke me when i thought i couldn't be more broken than i already was. tell them how I believed you and how you deceived me. tell them about how you told me your favorite colour was white, and how I thought how lovely it was, never realized that it was also the color of your lie when you promised me you will stay.

tell them, you old, sick joke, that for once I thought you loved me.

tell them, and they will know that these rummaging, angry, raging, words are all about you. they will know I pour every scar you’ve left into these words, these last words I pull for you. they will know you were both the hero and the villain. they will know I was a damsel in distress who saved herself. they will know I survived. I always will.
Antisocial dynamics filling my head
Formulated responses do little against
The brutality of missteps
The unfading of past errors
Mars the thought-strings I spun
And in the end tangle
And tie me to the wrong intention
 Oct 2016 Austen girl
Elexer
This morning I received
air mail letter three
from my connection overseas.
I pulled the paper back,
you begin your attack and it reads:

Of all the places I laid down my head,
I think of two I regret
Love isn’t easy my baby
Is sayin' today

But tell Mr. shoemaker I’ll be away
On a rocket or a comet
or the dock of the bay
On a continental steam ship
sailin' away
On a one way ticket
on a 1st class airplane
I wanna know
what you’re thinkin' about
Don’t just let me go

Four hundred days have passed since I’ve heard from you last
I’m getting worried, I admit
Maybe it’s nothing much
There’s nicer shores in sight
Oh I just don’t know

Of all the places I laid down my head
I think of two I regret
Love isn’t easy my baby
will tell you today
But tell Mr. shoemaker I’ll be away
On a rocket or a comet
or the dock of the bay
On a continental steam ship
sailin' away
On a one way ticket
on a 1st class airplane
I wanna know
what you’re thinkin' about
Don’t just let me go

I’m sayin' so long
I want my baby back
I know it’s hard to see
Why she’s in love with me
I’m sayin' so long
I want my baby back
I know it’s hard to see
Why she’s in love with me
So long to the headstrong
I wasn’t qualified
to lead that city life
That’s all I have to say
Taken from So Long to the Headstrong by Fleet Foxes. Seems fitting right now.
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